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Read This!
DMD has moved to www.medium.com/dans-media-digest/
Sunday, 6 January 2013
Twitter'd: SNOW WHITE & THE HUNTSMAN
Some wry observations, quips, wisecracks and thoughts on the big-budget fairy tale movie, compiled from my Twitter feed using Storify...
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View the story "SNOW WHITE & THE HUNTSMAN (2012)" on Storify
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SNOW WHITE & THE HUNTSMAN (2012)
My Twitter'd review of "Snow White & The Huntsman", where Bella from "Twilight" teams up with Thor to defeat Charlize Theron's Evil Queen, with a little help (literally) from non-dwarf actors...
Storified by
Dan Owen
· Sun, Jan 06 2013 10:07:30
Far and away the best thing about #snowwhitehuntsman... http://pic.twitter.com/egqpiRz1Dan Owen
The mirror is a T-1000! #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
I love Charlize Theron. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Queen Charlize gets THAT body, yet her brother gets a blonde Emo Philips haircut. Life's unfair. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Kristen Stewart's fairer than Charlize Theron? That mirror needs a polish. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
There's "an Atreyu" moment, but nowhere near as emotional. #snowwhitehuntsman #neverendingstoryDan Owen
This rain has done wonders for that guy's Emo Philips hair. He now just looks like an ugly Paul Bettany. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Charlize Theron beats Julia Roberts in the battle of the fairy tale movie Evil Queenery. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Thor just saved Bella from an out-of-work LOTR special effect. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
It makes perfect Kristen Stewart is playing Snow White. She was hardly going to be Happy the dwarf, was she. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Wasn't this Bob Hoskins' final role before retirement? Amazing he put off playing a dwarf THAT long, really. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Even aged 20 years by make-up, with a visible rib-cage and spine, Charlize Theron is one beautiful lady. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Special effects have reached a point where we can shrink the likes of Ian McShane, but can't yet enlarge Warwick Davies. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Between #snowwhitehuntsman and #thehobbit, 2012 was a terrible year for the dwarf acting community. At least they still have panto.Dan Owen
How can #snowwhitehuntsman be getting less entertaining now we have Ray Winstone shrunk to the size of a toddler with facial hair?Dan Owen
Bella is stroking a mighty white stag. In previous movies, this would likely be her love interest. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Toby Jones didn't require a special effect, thus saving budget for another of Charlize's dresses. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
1hr22m into #snowwhitehuntsman and still no sign of an Old Crone offering Snow White an apple. Or a rap version of "Heigh-Ho!"Dan Owen
Of course her skin's snow white; she spent her teen years in a dark dungeon. Wait till the sun turns her face leathery. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Ah, the famous apple scene. My life is complete. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
A massive collar made of crow's wings was beyond chic back in the day. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
There's an awful lot of milk and oil lubrication for Charlize Theron in #snowwhitehuntsman, and this is making me very happy.Dan Owen
I'm watching the 131 minute extended version. I'm guessing the theatrical was 90 mins and I've been suckered by greed? #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
When people die in fairy tales, it's very hard to care. One kiss or you lick a frog, and what's the big deal? #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
This could do with some Aslan right about now. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
I think Bella is wearing a boy's armour. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Haha! A genuinely funny quip about "working and whistling" from the dwarfs. This movie could have used some laughs. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Someone should intercut this "horses galloping along the beach" scene with the running one in CHARIOTS OF FIRE. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
If only someone had given the Evil Queen anti-ageing cream for her birthday, a lot of bloodshed could have been avoided. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Wilhelm Scream. I win a prize. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Uh-oh. Glass versions of Venom from #Spiderman. This can't be good. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
Okay, well done special effects people, you made Charlize Theron too ugly to defend. HAPPY NOW?! #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
And they all lived happily ever after... till R-Patz found out what the director's private sessions with K-Stew involved. #snowwhitehuntsmanDan Owen
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