HELIX pulled off-air by Channel 5

Syfy's contagion drama Helix hasn't attracted many viewers in the UK, where the show airs Monday nights on Channel 5. Or rather, did air on Monday nights. It's now been unceremoniously yanked off-air (mid-season) to return "later in the year", demoted to lowly digital channel 5*.

MSN TV: Channel 5's HELIX

Over at MSN TV today: I've reviewed the premiere of sci-fi contagion thriller HELIX, which made its UK debut on Channel 5 last night. (This is a reworking of my recent original review.)

I enjoy a good contagion thriller, but I'm not convinced that genre's a perfect match for long-form television. Helix is telling a story over 13 episodes, each representing a different day - potentially for many seasons to come. Or at least, that's the hope. For this reason, it's going to be much harder keeping audiences engaged unless the characters alone are endlessly fascinating, or the story goes against expectations and gives us something much deeper, richer and crazier than a two-hour movie could hope to achieve. It's too early to tell if Helix has any aces up its sleeve, but on the evidence of this premiere, I'm just happy it has some merit.

Continue reading at MSN TV...

MSN TV: Channel 5's DALLAS (season 2)

Over at MSN today: I've reviewed the second season premiere of DALLAS, which started on Channel 5 last night (a day after its US premiere on TNT). The cast are all back for another year of backstabbing, intricate cons and cruel deceptions... although the cloud of legendary Larry Hagman's demise looms...

Season one only ended in the UK last December, but Dallas is back already for a second run. I can comfortably say this revival has been an unexpected success, mainly because showrunner Cynthia Cidre quickly established a fantastic balance between old and new. The new, glossier Dallas has reverence for the original characters and its long history, but it never feels like a closed door to newcomers. The decision to have the show focus on the Ewing children - eco-warrior Christopher (Jesse Metcale) and his deceitful cousin John Ross (Josh Henderson) - was a masterstroke. It still allows for excellent support from the elders of their tribe - equable Bobby and power-hungry tycoon JR...

Continue reading at MSN TV...

MSN TV: Channel 5's HATFIELDS & McCOYS review - Part One

Over at MSN TV today: I've reviewed the first two-hour instalment of History Channel import HATFIELDS & McCOYS, which premiered on Channel 5 in the UK last night. It's an Emmy-winning miniseries starring Hollywood stars like Kevin Costner and Bill Paxton... but does that mean it's any good? It's a six-hour Western telling a story that won't mean anything to most Brits, after all...

As a viewer, I'm admittedly at two disadvantages with Hatfields & McCoys: I've never particularly enjoyed Westerns and, as an Englishman, I was ignorant of the real life story it's based on, which has since entered American folklore. Consequently, I knew this two-hour premiere would struggle to win me over. I'm sorry to say it failed, although the blame can be pinned on dull characters, a feeble basis for such a famous rivalry, and a storyline that simply doesn't justify its lengthy running time. Six hours total? Three feels indulgent.

Continue reading at MSN TV...

MSN TV Review: DALLAS (Channel 5)

Today at MSN TV, I turn my attention to the unlikely revival of '80s soap DALLAS, which just had its UK premiere on Channel 5. Has the show struck black gold, or should it never have been dug up?

"If you're under 35, you may not recall watching the original series of Dallas, but surely every TV fan is aware of the famous "who shot JR?" cliffhanger. Dallas produced 357 episodes over 13 years, but the second season cliffhanger was undoubtedly its crowning glory; antihero JR Ewing (Larry Hagman) was shot by an unseen assailant. The culprit was revealed to be his sister-in-law, Kristen Shepherd. His wife's sister! Dirty, dirty man. Its second claim to everlasting TV fame is less reputable. Season nine had to be written off as a dream of Pamela Ewing's (Victoria Principal) in order to undo the 'death' of husband Bobby (Patrick Duffy had left the show and it was the only way he could be brought back). She found Bobby alive and well in the shower." Continue reading...

CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER 2011: Launch Night

For a decade the first night of Big Brother signaled the beginning of summer for fans, but the latest run is premiering in the middle of August on Channel 5 (who've bought the rights to the show after Channel 4 axed it last year). It's a bad time to launch, made worse by the bizarre decision to kick-start BB's return with a celebrity special that will segue into the regular show. This means that the "proper" show won't start till September, when the weather's cooling, and continue throughout autumn!

top-bottom: Amy Childs, Tara Reid,
Jedward, Kerry Katona & Darryn Lyons

People underestimate the power of seasons and weather when scheduling television. Big Brother has been synonymous with summer for over a decade. Housemates sunbathing in the garden was a recurring motif of the show's live-feed (absent this year), while the celebrity version always arrived in January to blow away wintry post-Christmas blues. It seems as crazy as moving Wimbledon to October.

At the very least you'd think Channel 5 would know it makes more sense to do a regular Big Brother first, then extend the run with a celebrity version. The problem with reversing that order is how it risks people becoming bored of the house, and perhaps the whole show, by the time the celebs are all evicted and a rabble of strangers are thrown in.

To be honest, whichever version of BB airs first, the "double bill" is the larger issue. Why not have a normal version in August through October (if they must), leave the celeb version for January-February, and then get the next regular version on-air by June as usual?

Anyway, Celebrity Big Brother returned last night with a 90-minute launch, which was practically identical to those Channel 4 aired for 11 years. If slightly tighter, with a few improvements. The celebs no longer arrived in pointless limousine (which have literally travelled about 50 metres), but instead walk through the opening iris of a giant Big Brother eye-symbol—like something out of Stargate SG1.

Our new host is Brian Dowling (the winner of Big Brother 2, crowned Ultimate Big Brother champion last summer) who replaces Davina McCall. I was braced for a disaster, but Dowling was surprisingly confident and assured. After so many years watching the relative shambles of McCall (tottering around pulling faces and fumbling her words), Dowling struck a calmer, cheeky tone. You could argue he was comparatively boring, which is true to some extent, but as a debut it was a good start. He just needs to reflect some of the show's lunacy—which MCall, love her or hate her, always put across in her own performance. There's room for improvement, but Dowling acquitted himself nicely.

As for the celebrity housemates themselves, well... after weeks being teased about the possibility of Pamela Anderson and Charlie Sheen entering the house, the actual bookings were a disappointment. There were only a handful of housemates you'd refer to as "celebrities", and even those were firmly on the C-list.

The big four were beautician Amy Childs, star of The Only Way Is Essex where she's known for "vajazzling" customers; actress Tara Reid, half-remembered for American Pie, but best-known for falling out of nightclubs drunk; Irish identical twins Jedward, the X Factor novelty act whose sheer lunacy has turned them into cult favourites; and Kerry Katona, the ex-popstar who became famous-for-being-famous thanks to a turbulent love life and public meltdown. The rest were significantly less famous, if you can imagine such a possibility: Darryn Lyons, the egotistical Aussie paparazzo with a pink mohican haircut; Lucien Laviscount, a handsome Coronation Street actor; Sally Bercow, wife of the Speaker of the House who infamously posed in nothing but a towel for a tabloid; Paddy Docherty, the Irish star of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding; Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff, ex-wife of David "The Hoff" Hasselhoff; and Bobby Sabel, a hunky male model nobody's ever heard of.

top-bottom: Lucien Laviscount, Sally
Bercow, Paddy Docherty, Pamela
Bach-Hasselhoff & Bobby Sable

The star-power's dim, but that's usually the way with Celebrity Big Brother. It perhaps didn't help with negotiations that the show's moved to Channel 5, which is seen a low-rent channel, thus eroding the feeling that an appearance will revive a stalling (or non-existent) showbiz career. If this year's show is a big success, expect a better lineup for 2012. Of course, fame has nothing to do with making a great show. It's all about personalities and chemistry. If the housemates are fun, entertaining, shocking, outspoken, and argumentative, who cares if you've never heard of them. In fact, lesser-known celebrities are often a better booking because they're usually less guarded and more willing to stand out from the crowd. I already sense that Sally and Pamela will be bigger personalities than they are celebrities. And that's just as it should be.

You can't judge the success of a reality show on its opening night, especially as nothing has happened in the house yet—beyond Kerry being given a secret task to get herself voted the group's biggest diva. The only thing you can judge Big Brother on from the launch night is the production itself (good, well-paced, no major hiccups), and the performance of host Dowling (who, as I said, was fine).

The only flaw was how the launch offered absolutely nothing we haven't seen before. Channel 5 delivered no big reinvention of the previous launches, just cosmetic changes (like having iconic BB narrator Marcus Bentley describe the housemates as they entered the house instead of the presenter). Even "the twist" of a secret task was something the show's done numerous times before, so it fell rather flat.

But hey, Celebrity Big Brother 2011 not have given us any sweeping changes, but the refinements were decent, and I'm sure most fans are just happy to see the show back on-air. I just hope Channel 5 find ways to improve Big Brother in more noticeable ways, especially as it'll be running into the chillier months (less bikini's for the Daily Star's front pages), while vying for column inches against X Factor and Strictly Come Dancing.

Big Brother usually has the summer all to itself, but now it's swimming with major competition. It doesn’t stand a chance of winning this battle, especially given its new home, but Channel 5 are just after a steady hit. The launch attracted an impressive 5.1 million viewers, making it Channel 5's fourth most-watched show ever (and the most-watched in 12 years), which is fantastic news for them. I just wonder how far those numbers will drop, as they undoubtedly will.

CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER, Channel 5

'Big Brother' returns, on Channel 5

After almost a year of speculation, Channel 5 have confirmed that they're reviving Big Brother, which aired its final series on Channel 4 last summer. C5 have thrashed out a £200m two-year deal with Endemol, after months of negotiations, allowing Big Brother to return with a celebrity special in August, ahead of a regular 13-week run from September. The traditional schedule of a January celebrity special, followed by the regular show in summer will come into effect next year.

It's undoubtedly great news for Channel 5, provided the entirety of Channel 4's dwindled audience accept this new version. It will also help get people to sample 5*, if that's where the Big Brother sister shows like Big Brother's Little Brother and Big Brother's Big Mouth will find themselves. Although it's not known if those formats are part of the deal.

Jeff Ford, Channel 5's Director Of Programmes:

We're hugely excited to have secured the return of Big Brother for Channel 5 which will form a key part of this year's schedule. The series has previously captivated a decade of television viewers and we aim to bring Channel 5's energy, optimism and vibrancy to the series."

Tim Hincks, Endemol Chief Executive:

Big Brother has a passionate and loyal fanbase in the UK and I'm delighted it has found a new home on Channel 5. Ten years on it's as potent and cutting-edge as ever and it's still one of the only truly multi-platform entertainment brands.

But will there be any concessions regarding the quality and content of the show? Can Channel 5 attract the same caliber of famous faces for their celebrity specials? You may scoff at that phrasing, but Channel 4 regularly paid around £250,000 to get a few big names involved. Will C5's pockets be as deep, or should we expect a budget line-up across the board? Whatever happens, surely there won't be a problem finding the usual bunch of crazy, extroverted, fame-hungry wannabes for the regular show.

But there are already a few problems with Channel 5's impatient decision to get the show on-air this year. By launching Big Brother in August with a celebrity special, they'll attract a lot of attention, but will audiences be bored once the celebs are all evicted after a month and the "normal" show begins? Remember how jarring it was last year, when Channel 4 ended Big Brother 11 and went straight into a two-week Ultimate Big Brother send-off with some celebs? It just didn't work. Even for diehard fans, it was overkill. So why are Channel 5 repeating that mistake? It would make more sense to leave the celebrity special for January 2012, a few months after the regular show ends.

Also, if Big Brother 12 starts in September for 13-weeks, that means the series will be airing throughout autumn and into winter. Cold temperatures tend to dictate the kind of outdoor tasks the housemates are given and, to be frank, Channel 4 used to delight in being able to show nubile young men and women sunbathing all day. It sold tabloids and provided something for casual viewers to ogle on the live-stream. There's no chance of much sunscreen being applied from September to November!

Plus, the autumn is a much busier time of the year for TV. Big Brother doesn't have much to compete with much during the summer and post-Christmas, but an autumn broadcast will mean a lot more competition for the show. There's ITV's X Factor, for example, which is bound to steal whatever column inches Big Brother could normally rely on in Heat magazine. Although it helps that Channel 5's new boss Richard Desmond owns a selection of publications, who'll no doubt give Big Brother the kind of coverage it hasn't enjoyed since its early-'00s heyday.

Big Brother will also be returning to its home at Elstree Studios, but Davina McCall is very unlikely to reprise her role as presenter.

What is your reaction to this news? Even if you hate Big Brother, is it great to see a TV show being rescued in this way?

Celebrity Big Brother 2010: Week One

It's the final series of Celebrity Big Brother -- are you watching? I am. It's the perfect show to vent your spleen to on Twitter in the ad breaks, if nothing else. I've always had a soft spot for Big Brother since it started, really. I just find it's good fun if you don't take it too seriously, or obsess too much about what's going on. The winter celebrity version has had its golden moments (politician George Galloway wearing a red leotard, pretending to be a cat by lapping milk from Rula Lenska's open palms, say), but I prefer the main summer show. CBB's a pretty good fix, though, and it helps that it's so short, so we get tasks and twists at a quicker rate. This year's celebs are an odd bunch, as usual...

Stephanie Beacham. The posh ex-Dynasty actress, given to walking around indoors wearing sunglasses and having baths in her nightdress. She's actually the most likeable celeb in the house, fitting in as the "mother hen" and unlikely to ruffle anyone's feathers. A dull matriarch, certainly, but I'm already betting she'll be around until the final.

Stephen Baldwin. CBB's most contentious housemate, for sure. Stephen's one of the lesser-talented Baldwin brothers (i.e, his name's not Alec), and an ex-alcoholic who became a born again Christian to beat the bottle. This means he's allowed to read The Bible for an hour each day, which he insists on doing aloud to his "congregation" of fellow housemates, who are all too polite to tell him to shut up. It bugged me that nobody was willing, or clever enough, to pick holes in Stephen's creationist belief, too -- where he made the ignorant statement that evolution can't be real because why are there still apes around. Answer: humans didn't evolve from chimpanzees, dummy -- we evolved from a different species of "ape"-like creature that now doesn't exist because they're us. The apes we see today are just related to our species.

Vinnie Jones. The most surprising addition to the house this year is undoubtedly "bad boy" footballer-turned-actor Vinnie. As someone with a thriving showbiz career in Hollywood (he's made over 50 films, he claims), it's difficult to see why he's willing to put himself through the BB experience. Maybe he knows he's unlikely to really embarrass himself -- he'll just be himself for a few weeks, then bank the cash. The weird thing is how Vinnie comes across as one of the more intelligent people in the house, which doesn't say much for everyone else.

Sisqó. The Rn'B singer who had a hit with "The Thong Song" about 10 years ago. The most memorable thing he's done so far was reprise said song for a performance before he entered the house (a contractual stipulation?) He seems like a nice enough guy, really -- entertaining the girls by singing in the bedroom -- but he's also very naïve and unexciting.

Heidi Fleiss. The most interesting celebrity, in many ways. She's the ex-Hollywood "Madam" whose prostitution business collapsed, who now resembles a melted wax effigy of Steven Tyler after spending three years in jail, but you have to admire Heidi's morals in refusing to reveal which celebs were on her client list. The bad news is, while Heidi definitely has the most fascinating celebrity life, little of that's coming through on the show. She's shared a few sanitized prison stories, fair enough, but she's mainly just lounged around in bed and bitched about "dork" Stephen behind his back. I'm not sure if she has it in her to become a more extrovert force, but maybe she'll come out of her shell next week.

Dane Bowers. He's one of those unfairly maligned celebs of British culture, who amassed a public image based on distortion. To me, he comes across as well-adjusted and likeable. He's not likely to rock the boat, which is a shame, as he definitely has opinions on Jonas and Stephen that most people at home share.

Jonas. Or "Basshunter", as he's known to dance music fans. A Scandinavian musician and BB aficionado, he's clearly in there because he couldn't refuse the chance to participate in his favourite show. He's actually become one of the main "characters" in the house, because of his "showmance" with Katia, and cowardly refusal to do a secret challenge (put sand in someone's bed to earn Stephanie some luxury bedclothes.) The latter failure resulted in him being punished alongside Sov, both spending hours in a freezing cold task room with his own thumping music on a loop. I think Jonas is quite a spineless, childish man-boy, basically. Topics of discussion he's started involve farting and his chronic masturbation habits as a teenager. Katia seems to appeal to him because she's not embarrassed to break wind in public. It's a match made in heaven.

Nicola T. The obligatory Page 3 model, whom I've never heard of her. I may have seen her boobs in The Sun at some point, I guess. She doesn't look that attractive to me, either. She's quite plain. And, despite the fact she has the "sweet bimbo, young mum" factor preventing you from hating her outright, she's ultimately just very stupid and boring. As Lucy Pinder learned last year, she's facing a swift exit unless she becomes more interesting or, yes, wins Sun reader votes by going topless.

Lady Sovereign. Another singer whose career peaked in the early-'00s, and even then most people didn't notice. Sov's the "chav" of the group, but quite pleasant, and I like how she's one of the few people who vocally rubbish Stephen's preaching. Will she ever do it to his face, though?

Alex Reid. In some ways it's interesting having him in the house, because up until now he's just been a name in the tabloids for me -- the cross-dressing, cage-fighter rebound boyfriend of Katie Price (a.k.a Jordan). He's not quite what I expected, in that he comes across as an undisruptive himbo with a man-crush on Vinnie. But, there's definitely a fame-hungry streak to him, currently being fed by Stephen's insistence he could be "the next James Bond" if he put his mind to it. Alex is definitely in CBB7 for mass exposure and a chance to become famous in his own right, if everything falls apart with Katie in the outside world - which, let's be honest, it's going to.

Katia. Who? Oh, she's the young Kazakhstani ex of wrinkly rocker Ronnie Wood, who lived with the Rolling Stone for a year and helped destroy his marriage, before they themselves split. A fame-hungry Eastern-European opportunist, really, with no sense of shame, manners, or disceranble intellect. It irritates me that she never mentions Ronnie Wood by name, too. Why? Everyone watching knows who she dated. Most of the house know. And if they don't, they can ask someone who does behind your back. Katia's been flirting with Jonas since the start, too, so I'm predicting she'll be around for awhile so viewers see how that plays out.

Ivana Trump. I find it truly bewildering that Ivana, a multi-millionaire businesswoman, has even agreed to go into the CBB house. I can only assume she hasn't ever seen the show, and has bought into the idea that the experience will provide her with a level of UK fame to exploit in 2010. She's already dropping hints that she plans to write a book about being in the house, which is destined to flop if she ever did. I can't see her being a particularly interesting or amusing housemate, so for now her presence is just very strange. I hope I'm proved wrong about her, but I'm predicting a foreign version of Stephanie Beacham with no common sense. She already had problems entering the Diary Room's sliding door.