The cast of Star Trek: Anton Yelchin (Chekov), Chris Pine (Kirk), Simon
Pegg (Scotty), Karl Urban (McCoy), John Cho (Sulu) & Zoe Saldana (Uhura)

Production photos from J.J Abrams' Star Trek prequel movie have started to appear online, most notably at UGO and TrekMovie. Wow, look at them! I'm surprised to see the uniforms are so faithful to the '60s series, the cast already look like fun just standing still, and early word says Zachary Quinto has managed to replicate Leonard Nimoy's iconic portrayal of Spock perfectly. Click the links for more goodness. Colour me very excited!

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Writer: Raelle Tucker
Director: Nick Gomez

We're already half-way through the season; so time to reflect on the story so far, as Sookie (Anna Paquin) reflects on the vicious murder of her grandmother Adele. True Blood just got personal for the perky mind-reading waitress, as Bon Temp's serial-killer shakes the foundations of her close-knit world…

Raelle Tucker's story is a quiet, sombre piece that gives many of its characters time to ruminate and take stock of the situation. Friends and family are brought together in grief, although Sookie's telepathy once again casts light on how cruel and two-faced neighbours can be -- with the assembled mourners mentally-mumbling their true feelings about this latest murder. True Blood has been particularly good at demonstrating how torturous and despairing it would be if you could hear other peoples' thoughts.

As a character-driven episode, this is a big success. I'm not a fan of bitchy Tara (Rutina Wesley) herself, but I can't deny the actress sells the performance completely and is slowly turning Tara into a three-dimensional person. Her alcoholic mother Lettie Mae (Adina Porter) reappears at Adele's funeral, with Porter giving a riveting performance that made me eager to see more from her. Absolutely first-rate stuff that blew everyone else away.

Lettie Mae may also have revealed an important part of True Blood's mythology; insisting to her daughter that her alcoholism can be blamed on an evil demon corrupting her inside. Is she telling the truth? Is she crazy? Is the expensive exorcism she alluded to just a con? If True Blood is widening its supernatural wingspan to include possessive demons now, is that a clue to the identity of Bon Temp's killer? Could the perpetrator be unaware he/she is even doing it, but acting on suppressed prejudices (which is a theme of the show)?

Clearly, audiences are supposed to think Sam's (Sam Trammell) the killer, and able to shape-shift into that mysterious dog -- or at least can control the canine. It's a plausible explanation of his crime-scene sniffing antics awhile back -- and I'm sure you caught Bill's comment about Sam "marking his territory", too -- but it all seems too obvious to be the truth. A red herring the writers are pushing to distract us from the real culprit? The killer's identity will surely have to be a major shock, and hopefully someone we've met already. I really hate it when villains only appear in the last few episodes before being unmasked, so hopefully True Blood will avoid making that mistake.

The arrival of creepy Uncle Bartlett at his sister's funeral will hopefully fill in a few blanks, too. Might he have Sookie's mind-reading abilities? Why was he cast out from the Stackhouse family? What put him in a wheelchair? This episode did a marvelous job of injecting a few new ideas and characters into the show, while taking the time to develop the existing characters and giving all the actors some of their best material.

Anna Paquin was particularly good as the numbed Sookie, outrageously blamed by Jason (Ryan Kwanten) for their gran's death, and having to battle through the funeral and wake, trying to ignore the upsetting thoughts of gossiping townsfolk. There's a beautiful moment where Sookie is finally left alone in peace and sits down to eat the last home-made pie her gran ever baked, before breaking down into tears with her memories. A really great scene, quickly followed by a sequence ripped from a Hammer movie, with Sookie racing to Bill's house in a floating white nightdress, for a night of passionate sex by a roaring fireplace.

Indeed, the episode culminates in sex of three differing types: Sookie/Bill consummate their tentative romance, stud Jason finds himself bored for the first time during sex (as he's becoming addicted to a bigger high; the dangerous "V" drug), and Tara/Sam continue their no-strings lovemaking.

A few final thoughts: was Bill's dream of Sookie being strangled a premonition? The coroner's assistant was at the Fangtasia vampire bar; does that make him a suspect? Would you really want to clean up your dead grandmother's blood, on your own, hours after she's been taken to the morgue?

Overall, this was a very well-written episode that gave all the actors ample opportunity to impress. The murder mystery is thickening very nicely now, the Sookie/Bill relationship has been taken to the next step, and a few fresh elements were expertly pushed into play (weird Uncle Bartlett and Lettie Mae's demon). For a TV series only 6 episodes old, everyone has really settled into their roles and True Blood is going from strength to strength just recently.


12 October 2008
HBO, 9/8c


Cast: Anna Paquin (Sookie), Ryan Kwanten (Jason), Stephen Moyer (Bill), Sam Trammell (Sam), Tara (Rutina Wesley), Nelsan Ellis (Lafayette), Chris Bauer (Andy Bellefleur), William Sanderson (Sheriff Bud Dearborne), Stewart Skelton (Minister), Danielle James (Randi Sue), Dale Raoul (Maxine Fortenberry) & Adina Porter (Lettie Mae Thornton)

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It's finally here. My apologies if DMD looked bizarre around 5pm, but transferring my new template across was trickier than I thought. I was really panicking for a bit there! But, after a lot of hard-work and feedback from some trusted "friends of the blog", DMD has been restyled, revamped, and let loose on the blogosphere. I think I'm supposed to smash a bottle of champagne across my monitor at this juncture…

While most of the changes are cosmetic and obvious, I thought it might be a good idea to outline the main differences for you:

Space & Style. I've ditched DMD's narrow-blue look for a wide-white aesthetic. The blog now has also grown to 3 columns, to save space in the sidebar. The extra room is particularly good news for the main column, where posts appear shorter and crisper. The gap between lines is also less cramped, making everything easier to read.

Bookmarks. The footer of every post now includes a handy "Add-It" drop-down menu; enabling you to add that post to Digg, Facebook, Del.icio.us, Reddit, Myspace, Furl, StumbleUpon, Yahoo MyWeb, Live, Google, or your browser's favourites -- at lightining speed!

Comments. Your comments are now being handled by third-party software called "Disqus", making the whole business of commenting faster, slicker, sexier and easier. You can now re-edit your posts after posting them, and comments are threaded for easier navigation and discussion.

Comments Widget. In the sidebar, the Disqus software has also enabled a fun widget that displays "the most recent comments", "the most popular comments", and "top commenters". Oooh.

Banner & Tabs. The top banner has increased in size, which gives me more flexibility with my choice of weekly banner images. Just below the banner, there's also a Top Tabs nav-bar with direct links to my "TV Reviews", "TV News", "Movie Reviews" and "Movie News" posts.

Search. Next to the Tabs bar is a brand new search box. Type your query and hit return to scour DMD for posts containing your search criteria. At the moment, search results don't display a list of post titles -- but I'm looking at getting that changed, don't fret.

Recent Posts. A list of the 5 newest posts are now included in the sidebar. This is intended to encourage newcomers to visit other pages, if they arrive through an outside link to a specific page. But, it's relatively handy if you don't feel like scrolling down the main page some days!

Video. The sidebar is now wide enough to accommodate embedded videos from YouTube, Daily Motion, Meta Café, etc. I will be using that space to share TV promos, movie trailers, fan-made videos and funny stuff as a regular feature.

At this early stage, some of the old DMD features aren't available, for various reasons:

Star-ratings. This feature was added a few months ago, but hasn't proven very popular. That's a shame, because I loved the interactive nature of these stars in post footers. But, for whatever reason, most of you didn't. Therefore, I don't think the stars will be coming back -- well, not in the foreseeable future.

Adverts. Like many blogs, DMD linked to websites like Amazon with adverts that generated revenue. I never expected to make a fortune (and indeed I can make more cash by looking down the back of my sofa), so I've decided to abandon these ads -- for the time being. Anyway, my new template has a problem displaying Javascript sometimes, so they won't be back until those issues are solved at the very least.

Movie Reviews. Annoyingly, my direct links to movie reviews weren't transferable to DMD2, so I will have to manually retype them! It won't take too long, so bare with me.

Having already received constructive feedback from regular readers, I'm not going to radically change the template now. This is what DMD is going to look like, give or take a few tweaks. However, if there's anything you really, really don't like (and seems easy to change), or you have a problem using the new blog, please let me know!

Finally, I'd like to especially thank Dom, Matt, Sanaan and Simon for their help and feedback on DMD2.0, before opening this post up to any comments (good or bad)...

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Writer: Scott Buck
Director: John Dahl

Cast: Michael C. Hall (Dexter), Julie Benz (Rita), James Remar (Harry), C.S Lee (Masuka), Jennifer Carpenter (Debra), Jimmy Smits (Miguel Prado), Lauren Velez (LaGuerta), David Zayas (Angel), Desmond Harrington (Joey Quinn), David Ramsey (Anton), Preston Bailey (Cody) & Christina Robinson (Astor)

"A baby?! A motherfuckin', rolly-polly, chubby-cheeked
shit machine -- are you kidding me?!"
-- Debra Morgan (Jennifer Carpenter)

Dexter has always had a dark sense of humour coursing through its veins, and "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is definitely the funniest episode in ages; eliciting giggles from Dexter's (Michael C. Hall) dependably dry voiceover and the juxtaposition of a cold-blooded killer attending a yoga class with his pregnant girlfriend (Julie Benz)…

While season 3 has lacked an obvious hook, things appear to be headed into fascinating areas, finally. Having killed Freebo and been caught with blood on his hands by Oscar's brother Miguel (Jimmy Smits), Dexter finds he now has an unwanted friend and ally in the city's Assistant District Attorney. Of course, Miguel is unaware that Dexter only killed Freebo to prevent his implication as the real murderer of Miguel's brother, Oscar…

The uneasy alliance between Dexter and Miguel is this episode's most successful element, with Smits giving a riveting performance that keeps you on edge. Does Miguel have a similar flexibility to justice as Dex? Or is he cleverly manipulating Dexter for some reason? In some ways Miguel's a male version of season 2's Lila; a potential companion who appears to intuitively understand Dexter's moods. But will Dex make the same mistake of allowing Miguel to get too close? He already told Miguel private information about how his father was "disgusted" by him. Or will the adage "once bitten, twice shy" hold true? Undoubtedly, this storyline is getting juicy and I'm interested to find out more about Miguel's mental state.

Also of interest is the undercurrent of Dex becoming a father, which creates the theme of this episode. Dex is still unsure about committing to fatherhood -- a misgiving he admits to his sister Debra (Jennifer Carpenter), who gives him the inevitable verbal slapping for his selfish attitude. The episode also cements Dex's affection for young Cody (Preston Bailey) and Astor (Christina Robinson), who become the unwitting targets of a paedophile at the grocery store, and later the beach…

Despite the fact someone on the sex offender's register is outside of "Harry's Code", Dexter finds himself altering his ethics where his family are concerned. While this subplot was a bit thin and clichéd in its handling of paedophilia, I enjoyed seeing Dex stretch his moral boundaries, and the allegory to Dex as a lion prowling the savanna, protecting his cubs, worked very nicely throughout.

Elsewhere, the only storyline of note was Debra growing closer to her informant Anton (David Ramsey), as a thorny romance starts to blossom between the guitarist and foul-mouthed cop. Anton's public serenading of Debra with a love song he'd written about her ("puta flaca mala", or "mean skinny bitch") was another amusing moment, although I'm slightly disappointed that every overarching story for Debra has revolved around her love life. That said, Carpenter's performances have improved considerably in the past few years, and she's now one of the few supporting regulars who can hold a scene.

The ongoing police investigation into the Prado murder continues in the background, with Dex manipulating his colleagues down certain avenues. Miguel just wants the case to end now (knowing that his brother's killer has been dealt with), but Dex comes to realize that Freebo couldn't have killed his girlfriend Teegan. So, there must be another serial-killer out there. I'm pleased to see this direction being taken, as the show could do with a mysterious antagonist to push the story along. Unlike previous seasons, there isn't a big high-concept idea fuelling the season -- it's more fragmented and being delivered piecemeal. Which is fine. But you still need a spine to hang everything off, and I don't think the Miguel/Dexter collusion is up to the task.

Overall, this episode (directed by The Last Seduction's John Dahl) renewed my hope for the season. Maybe I've just adjusted to the new style, but it helps that there are some compelling ideas in play now, and I'm really enjoying Jimmy Smits' performance.


12 October 2008
Showtime, 9/8c

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New comments!

Monday, October 13, 2008 | View Comments

... as part of the imminent DMD revamp, this is a test of a new Comments system. If you have the time, please give it a go and let me know how you get on. Don't worry, if the consensus is that it's fiddly and rubbish, I still have my old template :) This post will be deleted in due course.

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Writers: Josh Appelbaum, Scott Rosenberg & André Nemec (based on an original screenplay by Matthew Graham)
Director: Gary Fleder

Cast: Jason O'Mara (Detective Sam Tyler), Harvey Keitel (Lt. Gene Hunt), Michael Imperioli (Detective Ray Carling), Jonathan Murphy (Detective Chris Skelton), Gretchen Mol (Annie Norris), Lisa Bonet (Maya Daniels), Michael Mulheren (Patrolman), Clarke Peters (Captain Bellow), Michael Bertolini (Colin Raimes), John Cenatiempo (Sizeable Ted), Mike Star (Nelson), Ken Marks (Scientist), Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick (Young Colin Raimes), Phyllis Somerville (Mrs. Raimes), Carrie Getman (Dora Keene), Ramsey Faragallah (Raimes' Lawyer), Aru Banks (Boy Two), Austin Basis (Willy Kramer) & Francisco Burgos (Boy One)

"I am a little nauseous, to tell you the truth. But you
would be, too, if you took the last flight in from 2008."
-- Sam Tyler (Jason O'Mara)

It will probably never beat the British original in terms of poetic beauty, but there's every chance an American remake could succeed on its own terms. After a derided L.A-set pilot from David E. Kelley that necessitated sweeping changes to production, cast and location, the producers behind October Road (Josh Appelbaum, Scott Rosenberg and André Nemec) offer their take on the BBC's timeslip '70s cop show…

Ironically, I feel like I'm stuck in a time-loop when discussing Life On Mars' premise. But, for the few people still requiring some guidance, here goes: modern-day New York detective Sam Tyler (Jason O'Mara, held over from the first pilot) is trying to catch serial-killer Colin Raimes (Michael Bertolini) with the help of his colleague/girlfriend Maya Daniels (The Cosby Show's Lisa Bonet). After Maya herself is kidnapped by Raimes, Sam is hit by a car as he rushes to help her... and wakes up in 1973, where he's accepted by the local police department as a new transfer.

Is he mad? In a coma? Or back in time? Well, if you've seen the UK original, you'll have your answer -- although the US producers insist their remake will take some unexpected deviations to sustain the concept. A wise move, as the BBC version arguably pushed its luck with a mere 16 episodes. There's certainly nothing in "Out Here In The Fields" to suggest a radical reinvention is underway, though -- as it still seems likely Sam's in a coma (a man on TV speaks to Sam like a doctor addressing a patient), but I'll withhold judgment for now...

To put aside knowledge of the BBC original is impossible, so it's best to address the differences and similarities between the two shows. Unlike the disastrous pilot from David E. Kelley, this version is far more successful at developing a heartbeat and resonance. The historical accuracy is much more detailed (even surpassing the original show, thanks to a larger budget) and '70s NYC already promises to be more captivating and immersive than grotty '70s Manchester.

But maybe that's missing the point; as Life On Mars originally thrived on revealing how depressing and un-PC England was 30 years ago. In comparison, NYC still looks hip and cool (only with more afro's); not quite the same cultural backwater. If it wasn't for Sam's imperative to get back to 2008 and rescue his girlfriend, you suspect he might embrace the era and start acting out Starsky & Hutch fantasies.

The cast are a mix of good, promising and poor. The two leads pose the biggest challenge for the longevity of this series. Irishman Jason O'Mara isn't bad, but he's a more capable and handsome character compared to John Simm's benchmark. Americans like their leads with chiselled good-looks and confidence, but it that as interesting in this fish-out-of-water context? I'm not suggesting the remake needs to totally copy the BBC version to work, but the US Sam Tyler doesn't seem half as awkward or perplexed by these events. He actually takes things in his stride, and doesn't seem particularly bothered half the time.

For many, Hollywood legend Harvey Keitel is the star attraction, making his TV debut to play Lieutenant Gene Hunt; the archetypal old-school cop whose methods and attitude clash with Sam's enlightened 21st-century views. Keitel's presence is an obvious draw, but it soon becomes apparent that the American producers have missed the primary appeal of Life On Mars…

The series was never really about the time-travel; it was about two men from different times forging a bond based on mutual respect, despite their obvious differences. Sam learned old-fashioned values and gut instincts from Gene; Gene learned tolerance and cutting-edge skills from Sam. Along the way, Gene became a surprise pin-up for middle-aged women and a cult hero for men (who enjoyed seeing a bloke assert his masculinity in an age of the metrosexual). Meanwhile, the general public were reminded of simpler times when Britain's cops weren't hogtied by paperwork and human rights issues.

In Life On Mars US, the 69-year-old Keitel isn't going to send any female hearts fluttering, and he lacks Glenister's imposing presence and charm. You spend most of this episode hoping Keitel doesn't break a hip (indeed, a lot of the action is pushed O'Mara's way) and the ying-yang relationship between Gene and Sam looks wrong. The first time we saw Glenister's Gene Hunt, he strode out of his office like an angry bear and punched Sam in the gut. The first time we see Keitel's Gene Hunt, he walks out of his office like a confused pensioner, fanning himself like a geisha!

While the central duo's sputtering dynamic is cause for concern, the supporting characters are generally very good. "Henchmen" characters Ray Carling and Chris Skelton appear (having been inexplicably ditched from the first pilot), played here by Michael Imperioli (The Sopranos) and Jonathan Murphy. Imperioli makes a particularly strong impression despite limited screentime as Ray, eclipsing his British counterpart Dean Andrews with ease. Meanwhile, Murphy tones down Marshall Lancaster's decision to play Chris as a brainless twerp, being merely quiet and sweet.

Gretchen Mol (The Notorious Bettie Page) takes on Annie "No Nuts" Norris (the feminist police officer originated by Liz White), and the talented actress manages to subdue memories of that original performance. That said, I always believed White and Simm could be lovers, but Mol and O'Mara don't make the same connection here. Still, Mol is perkily attractive and might develop some chemistry with her lead in the future.

The episode's plot remains largely unchanged from the BBC pilot, with just a few deviations and embellishments -- mostly unnecessary, although I enjoyed the denouement heart-to-heart Sam has with a little boy who will one day become his girlfriend's kidnapper. I always thought this scene was a missed opportunity in the original episode. The pilot is also bookended by the World Trade Center to symbolize the time-jump from '08 to '73 – and it worked very well, avoiding the potential to be a cheap trick.

Indeed, the WTC inspired my overriding thought when considering the main difference between the UK and US versions of Life On Mars. For Americans, the premise has developed a clearer wish-fulfilment angle, with audiences being taken to a time when home soil terrorism and global financial turmoil were unthinkable and the Twin Towers stood proud as emblematic pillars of capitalism. For Britons, the show was never about visiting a rose-tinted past (or else it would have been set in the sexy '60s). We enjoyed seeing a not-too-distant past where the police were a force to be reckoned with, not a service to be ignored. In the US, the disparity between then-and-now policing (in terms of attitude) isn't quite as stark, so the show is more about giving people a weekly hit of nostalgia for those prosperous, relatively safe and secure times.

Overall, I certainly enjoyed this episode and it was a notable improvement over the unaired pilot, if still nowhere near as convincing and beautifully acted as the BBC version. But, seeing the concept evolve and diverge from the original should be interesting, and there's a chance the disappointing chemistry between O'Mara/Keitel and O'Mara/Mol will be set right. Time well tell...


9 October 2008
ABC, 10/9c

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After a four-year break, comedian Peter Kay triumphantly returned to television with a one-off special skewering talent show competitions. The improbably-named Britain's Got The Pop Factor And Possibly A New Jesus Christ Superstar Strictly On Ice was a riotous send-up of X Factor and its predecessors, where three fake finalists sang for the approval of judges Pete Waterman, Nicki Chapman and "Dr" Neil Fox, presided over by host Cat Deeley…

Peter Kay (who stars as transsexual Irish singer Geraldine) co-wrote and directed this special; his knack for embellished but truthful characterization, eye for detail and musicality ensuring this wasn't the half-hearted pastiche we've seen before. It was a living, breathing, believable television show and twice as entertaining as the real thing.

All of the expected talent show elements were present and correct: the bizarre and hopeless auditions (featuring Siamese twins of unequal talent, and an elderly Sugababes tribute act) and "boot camp" (whisked to St. Tropez… caravan park), before the finalists were chosen -- toothy "R Wayne" (who was originally turned down; the news killing his gran), "2 Up 2 Down" (a quartet with two wheelchair users), and the aforementioned Geraldine.

The meat of the special was the final itself, with a surprisingly adept Cat Deeley giving a credible performance that didn't break the illusion (even when asked to say they'd had 37 million phone votes, and there was just 6 votes separating the winner!) The judges (a real-life triumvirate who had dominated the format with Popstars before Simon Cowell took grip) were also very good, although slightly stiff at times. But seeing them try to one-up each other's comments and wrangle the most strained metaphor was great fun, and painfully true of how the judging role operates.

Even better, the performances were perfect exaggerations of elaborate X Factor-style stage-acts. 2 Up 2 Down were dressed as superheroes and hoisted around on wires, R Wayne sang a love song to his dead grandmother, Geraldine mixed "Free Nelson Mandella-ella-ella" into "Umbrella-ella-ella" by Rihanna. Most of the performances were medleys of astutely-chosen pop cheese; from Shania Twain's "Man I Feel Like A Woman" (tranny Geraldine's choice, natch) to the hits of Bewitched and Steps. We even glimpsed a "skills week" that had R Wayne singing Stevie Wonder's "Ebony & Ivory" with a black ventriloquist doll, and Geraldine doing "The Frog Chorus" with croaking toy amphibians.

The little touches were just as fun: viewers asked to press the purple button, acts were unable to get off the stage so regularly lingered at the edge out of shot, dance choreography lessons came from Lionel Blair, and there were cameos from Sir Paul McCartney (playing the Home & Away theme tune on his piano), Rick Astley, "Michael Jackson" (asking a dwarf contestant "how old are you?"), Andi Peters, and the Cheeky Girls as efficient, knowledgeable and short-tempered singing mentors!

Overall, it might have been better to schedule the results show the following day, as 105 minutes of intense parodying was slightly overwhelming (even with a 75-minute break in the middle), but this was otherwise a spot-on appropriation of talent shows that fulfilled its aim. It wasn't cruel, it was celebratory and affectionately done. But it also reminded us how false, manipulative, shallow and rehearsed this brand of reality show can be. In some ways these shows are beyond parody already, but I think Kaye did a decent job of taking it to plausible extremes. Can you watch the real X Factor finale without wondering if the winner will choke on silver confetti now?

What's more, unlike X Factor, it had the good grace to bow out after just one episode instead of drag on for months. Mind you, Peter Kaye couldn't resist releasing a tie-in novelty song ("The Winner's Song", co-written with Take That's Gary Barlow); a catchy ditty released in shops today. Given Kaye's previous success with comedy records ("Amarillo"), prepare to be driven insane by overexposure.

This was a superb television lampoon that sneaked up without much pre-publicity from Channel 4 -- which was a shame, as I don't think we'll see anything funnier this year.


12 October 2008
Channel 4, 8pm & 10.15pm

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Writer: Vince Gilligan
Director: Adam Bernstein

Cast: Bryan Cranston (Walter), Anna Gunn (Skyler), Aaron Paul (Jesse), Dean Norris (Hank Schrader), RJ Mitte (Walter, Jr.), Betsy Brandt (Marie Schrader), Anna Felix (Sales Girl), Carmen Serano (Carmen), Jessica Hecht (Walt's Assistant), Daniel Serrano (Meth Drug Dealer), Max Arciniega (Krazy-8), Julia Minesci (Meth Whore) & Steven Michael Quezada (Gomez)

You've got to love a drama that opens with two gas-masked men scrubbing blood and guts off a floor, before tipping buckets of melted human remains down a toilet. Welcome to the disintegrating life of terminally ill Walter White (Bryan Cranston)...

"... And The Bag's In The Water" focuses on Walter and Krazy-8 (Max Arciniega), the remaining hoodlum Walter and Jesse (Aaron Paul) must deal with, who's currently secured by his neck to a basement pillar using a bicycle lock. Having literally disposed of Krazy-8's accomplice after an attempt to dissolve his body went wrong, Jesse leaves Walter behind to keep up his end of the bargain with Krazy-8. Again, Walter is conflicted about murdering someone just to save his own skin, and the episode primarily focuses on him grappling with his own sense of morality. For someone so close to death himself, the last thing Walters wants is to become a cold-blooded killer so close to the "finishing line"...

I hope my opinion doesn't lose its lustre with repetition every week, but Bryan Cranston is truly marvellous in Breaking Bad. It's the best performance on the box right now, and easy to see why he won an Emmy award recently. Vince Gilligan's script eventually becomes a two-hander between Cranston and Arciniega, with Walter trying to make an emotional connection with Krazy-8 so he can justify sparing his life. But can Krazy-8 be trusted not to go the cops if Walter lets him go? Or is Walter just a soft touch who will regret failing to take drastic steps to secure the junkie's silence? This debate fuels the episode, particularly in a bravura 10-minute scene between Cranston and Arciniega, culminating in one of the most tense and gripping sequences on television this year.

Elsewhere, there's not too much going on, besides a darkly humorous scene with Walter's DEA brother-in-law Hank (Dean Norris) taking Walter Jr (RJ Mitte) to a grimy part of town to see the drug addicts living in their slums. It's supposed to be a scare tactic, as Hank incorrectly believes his nephew is being tempted into a bad lifestyle at school. Norris is excellent here, and his heart-to-heart with Mitte is a strong fusion of comedy and drama that proves Breaking Bad isn't totally reliant on Cranston's grandstanding.

Simply put, the whole episode was character-driven and totally compelling. Breaking Bad is one of the few shows that can spread a relatively thin storyline over 43-minutes, yet ensure your total concentration through performance and dialogue. The "Pilot" utilized a complex and exciting story of various strands, but subsequent episodes have had the confidence to pull back and provide riveting drama on a smaller scale.

It's a tricky thing to do, particularly for a series in its infancy, but I'm already engrossed and fascinated by how much further Walter might fall... and if he'll find redemption and peace before he shuffles off this mortal coil. Superb, must-watch television.


12 October 2008
FX, 10pm

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2 questions: after 6 years, why is it only now that everyone's realized Len Goodman says "Se-ven!" in a funny way? Also, was SCD moved to an earlier timeslot on Saturday to see if Merlin performed better at 7pm (which it did), or to compete against England vs. Kazakhstan on ITV1?

The contest this week focused on the celebrity women, again:

CHRISTINE BLEAKLEY & Matthew Cutler
I really love the sense of fun she exudes with that mega-watt smile, but her banana-coloured dress with floaty arm bits was a disappointment and kept most things hidden from sight. Together with a tight bun-style hairdo, this was unfortunate.

JODIE KIDD & Ian Waite
The self-obsessed tomboy went all out to impress; pouring herself into a purple dress with a cut skirt showing off those gorgeous legs. Lots of cleavage on her wide chest, lovely hair and shapely curves completed the look. Excellent stuff from the former-supermodel.

HEATHER SMALL & Brian Fortuna
Well, I just don't see any sexual appeal with Heather, but her sparkling white dress with arm tassels was pretty nice.

CHERIE LUNGHU & James Jordan
Well, if you covet the older woman I think Cherie's something of a pin-up for you. Superb figure in that wonderful white dress with black borders, very elegant and serene with great facial features. The thinking man's crumpet.

JESSIE WALLACE & Darren Bennett
A light pink dress that covered everything up, with tight hair. Forgettable all round, sadly.

LISA SNOWDON & Brendan Cole
She must have the best legs in Strictly; they might even give last year's Penny Lancaster a run for her money (on account of not being freakishly long). Lisa was on top form here, in a tight open-backed purple dress showing lots of leg and hugging every contour of her body. Wonderful.

RACHEL STEVENS & Vincent Simone
A classy cyan dress that boosted her cleavage, but the S Clubber is still quite conservative compared to the other girls. Legs were covered, hair was up, so it was all a slight let-down.

"RUEDA" GROUP DANCE
The celebrity men did an unintentionally hilarious group dance, but it was still nice to see the professional dancers strut their stuff; from Lilia's lovely flat belly, to Erin's fine legs, Ola's hot red dress and Hayley's slender back.

"AMERICAN SMOOTH" PRO DANCE
On Sunday, the professionals all joined together for an American Smooth. The girls were all looking great in elegant light-pink/white ballgowns – which left most things to the imagination, but Lilia always looks amazingly curvy in whatever she wears, and Hayley Holt showed a pleasing amount of cleavage.

THE DANCE-OFF
It came down Jessie Wallace/Darren Bennett versus Heather Small/Brian Fortuna. I can see why, as both did rather poorly. I'd prefer to see Jessie stay, but she was unfortunately the fourth celeb to be kicked off the show. A shame, but it could have been much worse. Just keep Lilia and Ola in for as long as possible, please.


11 October – BBC1, 5.50pm
12 October – BBC1, 8.15pm

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My twenty-first column for Newslite.tv is now available, with reviews of J.J Abrams' latest sci-fi drama "Fringe", the sixth series of "Strictly Come Dancing", and Sci-Fi Channel's new US acquisition "Eli Stone". Head on over!

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My weekly picks of the best new telly on UK screens...

MONDAY 13th
Going For Gold (Five, 12.45pm) Return of the cult quiz show, now hosted by John Suchet, minus the European contestants angle.
Wired (ITV1, 9pm) Thriller about a single mum who works in a bank and uses her position to pilfer £250 million. Stars Jodie Whittaker, Toby Stephens, Laurence Fox, Charlie Brooks & Riz Ahmed.

TUESDAY 14th
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? (ITV1, 8pm) Return of the 10-year-old quiz show, hosted by Chris Tarrant.
Last Man Standing (BBC3, 9pm) Six athletes from the west compete against tribal champions in remote corners of the glove. This episode begins in Ethiopia, where the contestants participate in Suri stick-fighting.
Dawn Porter: Geisha Girl (Channel 4, 10pm) The journalist travels to Japan to immerse herself in the word of geishas, taking a crash course in ancient rituals before entertaining a Japanese businessman herself.

WEDNESDAY 15th
MOBO Awards 2008 (BBC3, 10.45pm) Mel B and Run DMC's Reverend Run present the annual awards show from Wembley Arena. Dizzee Rascal, Wiley, Taio Cruz, Estelle and Leona Lewis have their fingers crossed.

THURSDAY 16th
Blackadder's Most Cunning Moments (GOLD, 9pm) Celebrity fans of the classic historical sitcom choose their favourite moments. Featuring Jeremy Paxman, Tamsin Greig, Danny Wallace, Ross Kemp & Dave Spikey.

FRIDAY 17th
Have I Got News For You? (BBC1, 9pm) Return of the long-running comedy news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. Fern Britten hosts the first episode.
Frank Skinner: Live At The Birmingham Hippodrome (Channel 4, 10.50pm) Live standup comedy from the Brummie comedian.

SATURDAY 18th
Harry Hill's TV Burp (ITV1, 6pm) Eighth series of the comedian's sideways look at the best and worst of the week's television.
River Cottage Autumn (Channel 4, 7pm) Chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall returns to River Cottage to see what autumn has to offer.

SUNDAY 19th
Ian Fleming: Where Bond Began (BBC1, 6.10pm) The life of the James Bond author is traced by Joanna Lumley.

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Writer: Ben Vanstone
Director: Ed Fraiman

Cast: Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (Prince Arthur), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Anthony Head (King Uther), Angel Coulby (Gwen), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Michelle Ryan (Nimueh), Clive Russell (King Bayard), Jamie Kenna (Dungeon Guard), Paul Kynman (Sir Cador) & Gary Oliver (Gregory)

Four is the magic number. "The Poisoned Chalice" finally delivers on the promise of this series, mixing reality and fantasy with greater skill; telling a story that may be formulaic and predictable, but was also great fun and confidently told. The performance are also improving steadily, particularly from Anthony Head (King Uther) and Bradley James (Prince Arthur).

In a loose continuation of last week's episode, evil sorceress Nimueh (Michelle Ryan) is still on the scene; here going undercover as a beautiful handmaiden to win Merlin's (Colin Morgan) trust and poison Arthur's chalice. During a ceremony to unite Camelot with the kingdom of Mercia, Nimueh convinces Merlin that King Bayard (Clive Russell) is plotting to poison Prince Arthur. Merlin causes outrage by halting the political festivities and accusing Bayard of poisoning, but Uther commands Merlin to drink the poison himself as a test. Tragically, Merlin is proven right and becomes terminally ill after drinking from the chalice.

A King Bayard is arrested and war beckons with Mercia, Gaius (Richard Wilson) realizes that Merlin's only chance of survival rests with him creating an antidote using a rare mortaeus plant found in a nearby cave. Against his father's wishes, Arthur decides to save the life of his servant and rides to the Forest of Balor in search of the cure...

"The Poisoned Chalice" is good, old-fashioned fantasy fun. Writer Ben Vanstone's story is hardly original, but it's very efficient and finely paced. For an episode that doesn't rely on the charisma of its lead actor, it's even more surprising to see the supporting actors pick up the slack admirably. I'm growing to like Bradley James as his icy veneer slowly melts and the bonds of friendship with Merlin tighten. Head is excellent here, mainly because King Uther is almost incorrigibly cold-hearted, ruthless and blinded by a hatred of magic. The episode's coda softened him (at least in his role as a parent), but otherwise it's great to see a "villain" who doesn't crumble into congeniality.

The stunning Michelle Ryan had more to do in her second appearance, although I'm still disappointed that the level of magic in Merlin is so unadventurous. I can understand Merlin's own abilities being limited in scope given his inexperience, but considering the hushed tones Gaius and Uther use when talking about the dreaded evil sorceress Nimueh, we're yet to see Ryan's character astonish or frighten us. Still, Ryan is a beautiful screen presence and generally does a good job with the material. It was also a nice touch to see Gaius use an enchantment in secret, proving he's capable of magic and could be well-equipped to teach Merlin first-hand. As I mentioned last week, the absence of a magical mentor for the teenage Merlin is something that needs to change.

Merlin also expanded its horizons here, finally taking us beyond the castle and into the nearby countryside, forest and a dark cave. It was getting quite claustrophobic in the courtyard, so getting a sense of the outside world was very welcome and helped spark your imagination – particularly when an iguana-like beastie arrived for Prince Arthur to slay. It was just a shame the budget didn't stretch to creating a believable and exciting man-versus-beast fight; with poor camera angles and bland choreography squeezing a promising scenario dry. The CGI spiders inside the cave were much better, thankfully.

Morgana (Katie McGrath) is still sadly underused, so I can only hope the writers have a plan for her character in the long run -- as her role isn't clear and the Irish actress deserves better. In contrast, Gwen (Angel Coulby) is faring much better. Her role as a go-between for Morgana, Arthur and Merlin means she's more able to slot into any storyline, and Coulby is a pleasant performer – if not particularly queen-like (which is, of course, her big destiny).

Overall, this was a marked improvement and very enjoyable throughout. The actors all seem to be settling in now, the mythology is deepening, the universe is widening, and the groundwork is being laid for a Merlin/Nimueh face-off. The storylines still aren't terribly inventive and the magic is quite negligible, but this episode engages thanks to the growing Arthur/Merlin camaraderie, callous Uther's bad decisions, a tangible villain, the sense of a masterplan being set in motion, and a more successful merger of fantasy and reality all round.


11 October 2008
BBC1, 7pm

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It probably doesn't help that Little Britain USA follows Harry & Paul on BBC1 every Friday. Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse have been doing sketch shows since the '80s and have it down to a fine art. What's more, they've actually evolved within the format as they get older. Their new series finds them ditching all of their iconic characters (save for the odd cameo) and writing more three-dimensional characters, in scenarios that speak to the middle-aged middle classes.

Meanwhile, David Walliams and Matt Lucas are stuck in a comedy rut trying to shock desensitized teens and twentysomethings. The excuse here is that they're just introducing old characters to fresh-eyed Americans, so they have every right to recycle. So, for British audiences tuning into this unofficial "fourth series", it's all very flat, repetitive and brainless.

A sketch-by-sketch:

Mark & Tom. The "gym buddies" sketch was cut from last week's BBC edit, only to appear in episode 2. No, I don't understand the thinking behind this either! Can the sight of prosthetic penises really upset LB fans post-watershed? There wasn't much to laugh at here (it was all so very, very obvious in its target), but the muscle-suits were superb.

Vicky Pollard. A signature LB character makes her debut, plausibly arriving at a US summer camp in Utah to irritate the staff. The character still has the odd brilliant line of dialogue, but the whole "chav" joke is wearing thin. And I'm not even sure that works as well in US culture, so she's simply a problem child here.

Mildred. The southern granny makes another brief appearance, shocking her grandson Connor with another nostalgic story of shooting a Jew. Forgettable, mainly because of its brevity.

Marjorie Dawes. Low-fat alternatives was this week's topic for the Fat Fighters class, and these sketches are still the best written. Of course, the jokes and set-ups are over-familiar to long-term fans, which is their main failing.

George & Sandra. I love Lucas' dour expression throughout these sketches, as the unhappily-married couple visit the zoo and George finds the caged monkeys symbolic of his marital life. Not bad.

Phyllis. I have to admit, this was the only sketch that actually made me laugh. There's something beautifully warped about an kindly-looking old lady being bossed around by her dog (which she voices herself), as it tells her to defecate in public. Sorry, but it's true.

Carol. I have no idea why this character was considered strong enough to feature in the US series, as her "computer says no" catchphrase doesn't really get the intended laughs, and the sketches are incredibly thin.

Divorcing Couple. A welcome sense of freshness, as a divorcing couple divvy up their possessions and it becomes clear from the paraphernalia she owns that Lucas' character is a lesbian (The L Word egg cups!). Quite funny.

Harvey. The return of the breast-feeding adult, as he visits American cousins. The "bitty" gag has lost its shock-factor for me, but the character isn't as overexposed as many others in LB, so it earned a few giggles.

Sebastian. David Walliams is at his best when performing camp Sebastian, but it's not quite the same now he's been reimagined as the British Prime Minister. Guest star Harry Lennix was alright as the black American Senator (although lacking the comic charm of Anthony Head). The scenario just didn't click with me – despite its timeliness with Barrack Obama's ascension in politics. Sebastian's better as a clear subordinate.

Episode 2 was on the same level as last week's episode; a few decent sketches, quite a few bad ones, and all quite tedious. Little Britain US might be a laugh-riot for Americans who have never seen LB before, but it's lifeless and plodding if you have. With the exceptions of Phyllis and perhaps Bing Gordyn, none of the new American characters are particularly funny, and the British classics have been hawking the same catchphrases and comedy formula for years. With a noticeable lack of intelligence or insightful commentary on American life, it's also missing quite an opportunity to lampoon the USA from an outsider's perspective.


10 October 2008
BBC1, 9.30pm

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Okay. That's it. I'm officially bored of my template. This bog-standard (blog-standard?) look suited my purposes in 2006, and I've tinkered the code throughout 2007/08 to make it look more unique (the "Read Me" hack, the star-ratings, sidebar gadgets, and whatnot). But, whatever I do, it's still essentially a common and fairly basic Blogger skin.

I think DMD needs and deserves a new coat of paint, don't you? When you realize a leopard you bought can't change its spots, you go out and buy a tiger. Or something.

So, this week I've been hammering away on DMDiD (and not only because I love acronyms). DMiD stands for "Dan's Media Digest In Draft"; it's a blog I made to tinker with a brand new template, in the hope of producing something worthwhile and "Web 2.0"-ish. Goodies like: having 3 columns, a bigger banner at the top, a wider column for posts, a handy list of recent user comments, and suchlike.

It's going quite well, actually -- although the template I've settled on has issues handling Javascript (so my Amazon-related code doesn't seem to work -- but then it sometimes does in Internet Explorer, oddly). It's all very confusing and involves XML incompatibilities, but I won't bore you with that here. I'd love to get my new template working 100% correctly on every web-browser available, but I'd rather lose the Amazon-linked stuff if it's going to cause problems.

Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know that BIG changes are afoot, so keep watching. I would really appreciate anyone's help with these changes, too. If you're a fellow blogger who's suffered template-related problems, do you have any pearls of wisdom? Are there any code-jockeys who would be willing to take a look at my HTML? That's not a euphemism, by the way.

I'd also like to extend an invite to DMD "regulars" to take a look at DMDiD first-hand and give me their thoughts. Off the top of my head, those blessed few are: Matt, Jozziah, Aaron, MediumRob and Revs. If any of you guys want to help me out, just comments below and I'll e-mail you DMDiD's web address. Obviously, please ensure your profile has an e-mail link. If not, phonetically spell it out for me to message you back.

For other readers and lurkers, if you have a suggestion (something you'd like to see on DMD, or get rid of), your comments are also very welcome. And if NOBODY gets back to me on this, well... I'll persevere anyway and we'll all be stuck with whatever I regurgitate. So don't come crying to me when I decide on a mauve/cyan combo with red lettering :)

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I'm reviewing so many TV shows that my semi-regular TV news updates have fallen by the wayside. So, this is a brief look at the most exciting and intriguing TV-related gossip from shows covered by DMD.

ASHES TO ASHES. Details of season 2 have been released. The new series will be set in 1982 as the Falklands conflict begins. The regular cast will all be back, together with a new character called DS "Supermac" Macintosh (V For Vendetta's Roger Allam), a "force legend" who upsets Gene Hunt's delicate balance at CID.

DOCTOR WHO. Actress Velile Tshabalala is playing the companion of David Morrissey's Doctor in this year's Christmas special "The Next Doctor". Her character is described as "an East Londoner, very Cockney". Well, that makes a change!

TORCHWOOD: CHILDREN OF EARTH. The five-part third season is filming now for an early-'09 broadcast, and four new cast members have just been confirmed. They are: Lucy Cohu (Cape Wrath) as Alice, "a woman keeping many secrets from the past"; Susan Brown (The Riff Raff Element) as Bridget, "a character vitally connected to the government, which plays an important part in this story"; Cush Jumbo as Lois Habiba, "a secretary who hacks into some vital information"; and Rik Makarem as Doctor Rupesh Patanjali, a "junior doctor at St Helen's hospital who gets drawn into Torchwood's investigations".

V. Cult '80s alien invasion drama V is being revamped by ABC, with The 4400's co-creator Scott Peters in charge of the reimagining. The will involve new characters, primarily focusing on a Homeland Security agent called Erica Evans, whose troubled son learns the truth about supposedly benevolent alien visitors to Earth.

US RATINGS

Most of the big TV shows have started (or re-started) in the States, but how are they faring after a prolonged hiatus? "Fringe" started with a disappointing 9.05 million viewers (blamed on people downloading the pilot from the internet over the summer), but picked up with its second episode to attract 13.36 (helped by House as a lead-in). Since then, viewers have slipped to around 10 million. Fortunately, Fox have ordered a full 22-episode season because it's performing very well in the 18-49 demographic.

"The Mentalist" is one of the sleeper surprises of the autumn. The procedural, about a crime-fighting psychic illusionist, premiered with a mighty 15.5 million viewers and the second episode retained 98% of that audience! CBS have ordered 6 more episodes, and a full-season is very likely. Astonishing.

Bad news for "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles", sadly. The sci-fi series is struggling in the midst of a very competitive Monday night. The first season benefited from being one of very few new TV shows on-air because of the writers' strike (averaging of 11.4 million per episode), but those audiences are deserting it now. Season 2 premiered with just 6.4 million and now averages 5.5 million. There is rampant speculation Fox are weeks from axing the show, which is a real shame. Please watch it!

The sophomore slump of Sarah Connor has been blamed for the knock-on bad performance of "Prison Break", which directly follows it on Mondays. The fourth season started with 6.48 million, but has dropped to around 5.4 million. It's still performing well in the 18-49 demographic advertisers love, though -- and Fox has always supported the show, so it should avoid the axe.

Over on NBC, "Chuck" got a full-season order from the network before a single episode was aired of season 2. They appear to have jinxed the show, with the spy-comedy's premiere attracting just 6.62 million viewers (Chuck's lowest ever audience) and then dropped to 5.89 the following week! It's unlikely to be axed given NBC's public commitment, but US audiences clearly have very short attention spans. The gap between seasons this year (because of the writers' strike) is being blamed for the downturn of many returning shows.

NBC's other big series, "Heroes", came back for its third season after an infamously terrible sophomore slump. Despite a huge campaign to lure back fans, the premiere got 10.22 (season 1 started with 14.3m, and season 2 lured 14.12m), and has since fallen to around 8 million. Heroes has never dropped below 10 million until now. Fortunately, the show performs well in the 18-49 demographic (50% better than any other NBC series) and it's still a popular show around the world.

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In the US: The top 10 makes for awful viewing this week! Talking dog movie "Beverly Hills Chihuahau" (ranked 2.8 on IMDb) somehow takes #1! Michael Cera comedy "Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist" does well to reach #3... the resurgence of the Western may have been exaggerated, with"Appaloosa" (starring Viggo Mortensen) only managing#5 with a paltry $5m in its opening week... and there's no love for contentious documentaries and spoofs, as "An American Carol" (a right-wing attack on Michael Moore) flops in at #9, and comedian Bill Maher's skewering of religion, "Religulous", fares even worst at #10. Ouch.

US TOP 10

(-) 1. Beverly Hills Chihuahua $29.3m
(1) 2. Eagle Eye $17.7m
(-) 3. Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist $11.3m
(2) 4. Nights In Rodanthe $7.37m
(-) 5. Appaloosa $5.05m
(3) 6. Lakeview Terrace $4.56m
(5) 7. Burn After Reading $4.12m
(4) 8. Fireproof $3.99m
(-) 9. An American Carol $3.66m
(-) 10. Religulous $3.41m

In the UK: It may have sank without a trace in the US (not even cracking the box-office top 10, despite co-starring hot property Megan Fox), but Simon Pegg's countrymen rally behind him and propel "How To Lose Friends & Alienate People" to #1... the other new releases all fair dismally, with "Brideshead Revisited" and CGI animation "Fly Me To The Moon" both with sub-£500k business at the bottom of the chart.

UK TOP 10

(-) 1. How To Lose Friends & Alienate People £1.1m
(2) 2. Taken £1.09m
(1) 3. Tropic Thunder £987k
(5) 4. Mamma Mia! £771k
(4) 5. Death Race £448k
(7) 6. The Boy In The Stripes Pyjamas £436k
(3) 7. Righteous Kill £422k
(-) 8. Brideshead Revisited £375k
(-) 9. Fly Me To The Moon £311k
(6) 10. The Women £265k

FILM OF THE WEEK
"THE HOUSE BUNNY"

Comedy. A playboy bunny is kicked out of Hugh Heffner's mansion and is taken in by a group of sorority girls.
Director: Fred Wolf Starring: Anna Faris, Rumer Willis, Katharine McPhee, Colin Hanks, Emma Stone, Kat Dennings & Dana Goodman
US Box Office: $48 million
Tomatometer: 39% (Rotten; based on 114 reviews) "Anna Faris is game, but she can't salvage this middling, formulaic comedy."

OTHER UK RELEASES

"City Of Ember"

Fantasy adventure. The power generator that brings light to people who now live underground begins to fail, so two teenagers must race against time to solve the problem.
Director: Gil Kenan Starring: Harry Treadaway, Tim Robbins, Bill Murrray, Toby Jones & Lucinda Dryzek
Tomatometer: 41% (Rotten; based on 44 reviews) "City of Ember is visually arresting, and boasts a superb cast, but is sadly lacking in both action and adventure."

"Mirrors"

Horror thriller. An ex-cop and his family are targeted by an evil force that uses mirrors to enter their home.
Director: Alexandre Aja Starring: Kiefer Sutherland, Amy Smart, Paula Patton, Cameron Boyce & Eric Gluck
US Box Office: $30 million
Tomatometer: 13% (Rotten; based on 67 reviews) "Inconsistency and listless plot make this K-horror remake a less-than-frightening time at the movies."

"The Mutant Chronicles"

Sci-Fi action. In the distant future, following an attack that turned most of the population into mutants, a group of survivors on Mars return to the planet.
Director: Simon Hunter Starring: Thomas Jane, Ron Perlman, John Malkovich, Devon Aoki & Sean Pertwee
Tomatometer: 18% (Rotten; based on 11 reviews) "Bad acting, poor CGI and clunky script mean this sci-fi thriller is lacking in all departments including the thrills."

"Nights In Rodanthe"

Romantic drama. A doctor travelling to see his estranged son finds himself drawn to an unhappily married woman.
Director: George C. Wolfe Starring: Diane Lane, Richard Gere, Christopher Meloni, Viola Davis, Becky Ann Baker & Scott Glenn
US Box Office: $27 million
Tomatometer: 30% (Rotten; based on 105 reviews) "Derivative and schmaltzy, Nicholas Sparks' Nights in Rodanthe is strongly mottled by contrivances that even the charisma of stars Diane Lane and Richard Gere can't repair."

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