MOONLIGHT 1.13 – "Fated To Pretend"

Writers: Gabrielle Stanton & Harry Werskman
Director: David Barrett

Cast: Sophia Myles (Beth Turner), Alex O'Loughlin (Mick St. John), Jason Dohring (Josef Kostan), Tami Roman (Maureen), Jacob Vargas (Guillermo), Jennifer Chu (Architect), Erika Ringor (Office Novak), Victoria Pratt (Dee Dee Dwight), Amy Motta (Interior Designer), Ksenia Solo (Bonnie Morrow), Edoardo Ballerini (Pierce Anders), Bonnie Root (Ellen), Antonio Elias (Luis Perez), David Blue (Logan), Eric Winter (ADA Benjamin Talbot) & Christopher Cousins (Kent Morrow)

After the Editor of BuzzWire is murdered, a still-human Mick helps Beth with the investigation...

"I'm actually gonna have to chase this guy? Crap."

-- Mick St. John (Alex O'Loughlin)

Moonlight has been cancelled. So this is the last bunch of episodes -- ordered by CBS after the writers' strike ended, giving hope to fans that Moonlight was "in favour" and would return next year. An inventive campaign, where fans donated blood to prove their devotion, just wasn't enough. It's a shame, as the show's pretty good fun at times and has definitely developed well...

Fated To Pretend finds Mick (Alex O'Loughlin) living the high-life as a human, enjoying in the day-to-day comforts people take for granted: sleeping in a warm bed, drinking coffee, eating hot dogs, walking in the sunlight, etc. Beth (Sophia Myles) has forgiven him for refusing to turn dead-boyfriend Josh into a vampire, just 6 days after his funeral, so they're now growing closer and taking picnics on the beach. She moves on fast, that girl.

This week's crime involved the murder of Beth's boss Maureen (Tami Roman), whose death is being investigated by new A.D.A Benjamin Talbot (Eric Winter), who isn't very impressed by Mick's reputation and warns him to keep his nose out. But Mick and Beth soon find evidence of the case Maureen was working on before she dies (on a USB data-stick hidden amongst some tampons) and mortician Guillermo (Jacob Vargas) confirms that Maureen was killed by a vampire.

Maureen's files contain information on a few suspects, including a donut company, a mayoral candidate and Josef! Josef pleads his innocence over a charity scam, Beth speaks to the donut company's chairwoman (whose spokesperson may have died from eating their product), and Mick investigates mayoral candidate Morrow (Christopher Cousins) – whose wife died in a car accident 3 years ago

Morrow seems the likeliest candidate, and Mick eventually finds a man called Luis Perez (Antonio Elias) -- the valet on the night Mrs Morrow died -- who reveals that her husband was driving the car. Morrow's daughter Bonnie (Ksenia Solo) attempts suicide back at her dad's campaign HQ, by threatening to jump off a roof, having known about her father's role in her mother's death. Mick stops Bonnie from jumping and it turns out the teen falsified an incriminating e-mail from Perez pointing the finger at her father – rather than just tell the cops! Yeah, it doesn't really make much sense.

But, no matter. It's clear that the Morrow situation has little to do with Maureen's death, so they turn their attention back on the donut spokesperson who had died – discovering that she had liposuction. Mick, Beth and Talbot go to the plastic surgeon Dr Anders (Edoardo Ballerini) who did the procedure, only for him to "vamp out" once he's provoked and tear up his own office. Mick, now a puny human, can't do anything to stop his rampage. Anders kidnaps Anders and Talbot, but Mick is left alone (why?) and gets stitched up by Guillermo. It also becomes clear that Dr Anders has been siphoning rare blood types from his clients and selling them on.

At his apartment, Mick prepares to go after Anders alone, but Josef makes him realize he wouldn't stand a chance as a human (by effortlessly disabling him). Mick is forced to agree, so persuades Josef to turn him back into a vampire. Josef obliges and the pair head to Anders' office (where he has Anders and Beth tied and blindfolded on the floor), and together they lead an assault on Anders and his vampire colleagues.

Afterwards, Beth isn't sure Talbot will be able to let all the unanswered questions lie – as he was blindfolded and unable to see Josef and Mick as vampires. She's also sorry Mick had to turn back into a vampire to save her, as she knows how much he relished being human again. But she lets him know it's not the vampire/human divide that's keeping them apart: it's just him.

Fated To Pretend was indicative of Moonlight's general problem: the procedural elements are either bland or ridiculously strained and nonsensical. This episode required suspension of disbelief (the easily-founded data-packed memory stick with the easiest password ever) and once again relied on Guitar Hero-playing geek Logan (David Blue) to push the plot on with technical mumbo-jumbo genius. And the red herring subplot with the Morrow family didn't make much sense, as it relied on Bonnie going to extraordinary lengths to snitch on her father – when an anonymous call to the cops would have sufficed!

But, as usual, you tend to latch onto the vampire and romantic elements to pull you through the quagmire of half-baked ideas. It was great fun seeing Mick adjust to life as a human and the vamp-powered fight sequences are now very accomplished – although the amount of hissing and snarling puts H.R Geiger's Alien to shame! I was disappointed to see a Josh replacement turn up so quickly in Talbot, but his dislike of Mick might lend the show some freshness. We'll have to see where it goes – which won't be far, given there are just a few episodes left until the curtain comes down.

Overall, this was disappointing after a strong run of mythology-heavy stories just recently. While unoriginal, Moonlight's silly-but-entertaining when it tackles vampirism, the Mick-Beth romance is quite engaging (in a sugary way), but the plots are often unable to craft a water-tight procedural. And that's certainly the case here.


13 May 2008
LivingTV, 10.00 pm

Life On Mars: American Cast

I'm not sure what to make of that photo (above). It's the cast of the Life On Mars remake for ABC, which has now been given the timeslot of Thursday's @ 10pm for the 08/09 TV season.

I'm very pleased about the casting of Colm Meaney as Gene Hunt (far-right); one of very few actors who could put a decent spin on Philip Glenister's iconic performance, but... there's no sign of the classic Gene Hunt attitude in that photo, is there?

Indeed, everyone looks a bit odd to me. They've clearly sexed-up the role of Annie by casting Rachelle LeFevre (which is fine), but won't Sam Tyler (Jason O'Mara) cause blindness with that orange jacket? Bleugh. And who's that guy on the far-left? I'm assuming they've ditched Chris and he's the new Ray? Hmmm.

Is this project doomed to failure? Or will only people familiar with the BBC original kick up a stink? The overwhelming majority of Americans have no clue about Life On Mars' history, so they'll just accept the show at face value -- unable to make comparisons.

Still, while the premise of a modern cop being sent back to the 70s remains enticing, and should work well in America (with Brit nostalgia for The Sweeney replaced by Starsky & Hutch), I hope the chemistry between O'Mara/Meaney is as strong as Simm/Glenister.

And hey, if it's a massive hit -- they'll inevitably do their own Ashes To Ashes spin-off. Who could play Alex?

Mr. Brooks (2007)

Director: Bruce A. Evans
Writers: Bruce A. Evans & Raynold Gideon

Cast: Kevin Costner (Earl Brooks), William Hurt (Marshall), Demi Moore (Detective Tracy Atwood), Dane Cook (Mr Smith/Mr Bafford), Marg Helgenberger (Emma Brooks), Ruben Santiago-Hudson (Hawkins), Danielle Panabaker (Jane Brooks), Aisha Hinds (Nancy Hart), Lindsay Crouse (Captain Lister), Jason Lewis (Jesse Vialo), Reiko Aylesworth (Sheila), Matt Schulze (Thornton Meeks), Yasmine Delawari (Sunday) & Traci Dinwiddie (Sarah Leaves)

A family man with an addiction to murder is blackmailed into mentoring a man who's fascinated by his secret life...

Psycho found Norman Bates living in a motel knifing travellers, Texas Chain Saw Massacre's inbred family kept to themselves in a remote farmhouse, and Silence Of The Lambs' Hannibal Lecter was creepiest when caged. But these days, what with TVs Dexter Morgan masquerading as a forensics analyst and white-collar Mr. Brooks keeping up appearances at home, it seems serial-killers have moved in next door...

Kevin Costner eschews his all-American nice-guy persona to play the eponymous anti-hero (well, sympathetic villain) Earl Brooks. On the surface he's a business hotshot (he wins a company award in the opening scene) with a beautiful wife called Emma (CSI star Marg Helgenberger) and cute teenage daughter Jane (Danielle Panabaker). But he's actually a very disturbed man; a self-confessed addict whose drug of choice is murder. Mr. Brooks has been "straight" for a few years, but he's about to relapse – thanks to wormy hallucination Marshall (William Hurt), a devilish Jiminy Cricket tempting him to quench his thirst for death...

Mr. Brooks' life gets complicated when he's photographed at the scene of a crime-scene and finds himself hero-worshipped by the snapper – a sick-minded guy called Mr. Smith (Dane Cook), who wants to experience committing murder for himself. There's also tough-cookie Detective Tracy Atwood (Demi Moore), who's now on the trail of Mr. Brooks (a.k.a The Thumb-Print Killer) while going through a messy divorced. Oh, and she's also the target of revenge attacks by a killer she put in jail, but who's now free.

The biggest strength to Mr. Brooks is undoubtedly Costner's measured, intelligent, mesmerising turn as its title character. It's clearly a role designed to be the antithesis of his usual roles (Elliot Ness, Robin Hood, et al), and Costner clearly relishes the opportunity to bring some darkness to the screen. Hurt is also great fun as the pallid demon perched on Brooks' shoulder, reminding me of a sick-puppy schoolboy and prone to erupting into peals of chilling laughter. The film's best moments tend to involve the symbiotic relationship of Mr. Brooks and the inner-demon he's made "flesh".

The screenplay, by Bruce A. Evans and Raynold Gideon, is broadly pretty good and certainly entertaining -- with enough twists and pace to keep you watching. However, the TV series Dexter has stolen some of the premise's thunder, so the ingenuity of Mr. Brooks makes less impact. There's also a crucial flaw that has its roots in the script: too many subplots and escalating silliness.

I'm not going to give the surprises in Mr. Brooks, but suffice to say that there are quite a few twists and revelations that, while definitely fun, quickly chip away at the film's plausibility. A subplot for Mr. Brooks' daughter Jane demands the biggest pinch of salt from audiences, but Detective Atwood is also given two largely pointless subplots that creak as they're forced to impinge on the central plot.

None of this should spoil your enjoyment too much, however. Costner manages to make Mr. Brooks sympathetic (despite the personality defect that he likes killing people), as you sense his genuine heartache over his monstrosity, and totally believe in his love for his family. He even decides it would be best if someone killed him, so he's not the usual psychopath in that respect.

Elsewhere, Demi Moore is convincing as a fiercely-determined city cop, and comedian Dane Cook (yes, the star of unfunny rom-com Good Luck Chuck) is actually pretty good as the bearded, anxious and immoral Mr. Smith. In fact, after a good performance in Dan In Real Life, maybe Cook should drop the comedy aspirations and move full-time into straight roles?

As a relatively low-budget independent film, Mr. Brooks is allowed to tell its story without too much interference or toning down. It's a shame Bruce A. Evans' direction isn't very cinematic, though – as this film often feels like the Pilot of a TV show. Indeed, if Dexter weren't already on the box, I suspect Mr. Brooks would be more at home on the small-screen and find the same audience. It might actually have helped if the film's clutter was spread across hours of television.

Mr. Brooks is apparently the first part of an intended trilogy and, while it certainly had some storytelling problems that made for a bumpy ride towards the end, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious to see what happens to Mr. Earl Brooks and his id "accomplice" Marshall...


MGM
Budget: $20 million
120 minutes

CHUCK 1.6 – "Chuck Versus The Sandworm"

Writer: Phil Klemmer
Director: Robert Duncan McNeill

Cast: Zachary Levi (Chuck Bartowski), Yvonne Strahovski (Sarah Walker), Sarah Lancaster (Ellie Bartowski), Adam Baldwin (Major John Casey), Joshua Gomez (Morgan Grimes), C.S. Lee (Harry Tang), Bonita Friedericy (General Beckman), Ryan McPartlin (Captain Awesome), Mark Christopher Lawrence (Big Mike), Vik Sahay (Lester), Scott Krinsky (Jeff), Julia Ling (Anna Wu), Creagen Dow (Teenage Boy), Greg Baine (Special Agent Ben Katz), Rick Hoffman (Agent Scary), Jonathan Sadowski (Lazslo Mahnovski), Jesse Heiman (Fernando) & David Burke (HR Manager)

Chuck meets another geek whose brain is important to national security, and isn't sure if he should turn the man over to his handlers...

"Would you like to play a nice game of Thermonuclear War?"

-- Lazslo (Jonathan Sadowski)

I've read lots of reviews that hold Chuck in very high esteem, written above comments from fans that extol its hilarity and general brilliance. I'm glad it has fans, but I still can't see what's so damned funny. It's amusing in ways that stem from its performances (great cast), but it's lethargic when it comes to quantity and quality of jokes. Chuck Versus The Sandworm did nothing to turn the tide after the week-by-week improvements stopped at episode 4.

Once again, we have a so-so storyline that's stretched to breaking point. Seriously, Chuck would be improved immeasurably if it was a breezy half-hour. Is there a precedent for hourlong US comedy-dramas evolving into half-hours on US TV? Here, Chuck (Zachary Levi) discovers another geek whose mind is the "property" of the government – a genius called Lazslo Mahnovski (Jonathan Sadowski), responsible for designing a wide variety of gadgets, but now wanted by his superiors after he escaped and killed his handlers.

Chuck sees echoes of his own situation in Lazslo and wonders if he's destined to become him. He therefore decides to hide Lazslo from Casey (Adam Baldwin) and Sarah (Yvonne Strahovski), and isn't too happy when he realizes his own handlers justify Lazslo's paranoia – when Chuck finds his room has been bugged.

As usual, there's a parallel plot at the Buy More store with Morgan (Joshua Gomez), who undergoes a makeover at the hands of Captain Awesome (Ryan McPartlin) designed to make him look more like "a man". Comb your hair and tuck in your shirt, basically. Chuck is also due to take his interview for the Assistant Manager position, with hateable Harry Tang (C.S. Lee) as his only competitor, but finds his spy life once again scuppers his chances.

There's also a vague attempt for this to be a Halloween episode, as Chuck's sister Ellie (Sarah Lancaster) organizes a spooky fancy dress party – with Morgan hoping Chuck will agree to reprise their popular Sandworm costume from the movie Dune. It's all a bit unnecessary, really – although it does require Lancaster to appear naked covered in leaves (as the biblical Eve) and Strahovski causes a billion geek-gasms by dressing as slave-girl Princess Leia. It's just a shame both don't appear on-screen for long in their get-up. I suppose that's what the pause button's for. Seriously, is there anyone cuter on TV than Yvonne Strahovski right now? She's like a little blonde bunny. Too hot.

This episode focuses more heavily on Chuck and Morgan in their respective storylines, with Casey and Sarah pushed into the background a fair bit. It's fortunate that Levi is more than capable of shouldering an episode on his own, and having a story where he's not being pulled from pillar to post, or getting in the way of Casey and Sarah, is very welcome. But of course, without as much guidance, Chuck makes the unwise decision to trust Lazslo – before it's revealed he's a dangerous sociopath intent on blowing up a pier full of partygoers. Still, at least Chuck disarmed a bad-guy and deactivates a car-bomb without any help, so that was nice to see...

But I'm growing tired. None of it's funny or dramatic enough. If Chuck were a light and breezy 30-minutes, it would wash over you quick enough for only the good stuff to lodge in your brain. And there is some good stuff here: the premise is sound, the lead is appealing, the supporting cast are fine, and the women are red-hot. But the stories are ham-fisted, there's always a B-story that just distracts you, the laughs are few and far between (and not madcap enough given the zany concept), and I've yet to see an episode that sustains (or required) a 43-minute runtime.

I know I've mentioned these problems many times before, but they're still holding true after 6 weeks. And it's frustrating me -- because the cast deserve better and the ingredients are there for a worthwhile spy spoof that isn't a simple Bond parody (a la Austin Powers or Get Smart). Chuck's in desperate need of a Head Chef to make an omelette out of these broken eggs. Until then, let's just ogle Chuck's Chicks...


12 May 2008
Virgin1, 10.00 pm

DIRT 2.3 – "God Bless The Child"

Writer: Dave Flebotte
Director: Chris Long

Cast: Courteney Cox (Lucy Spiller), Ian Hart (Don Konkey), Ryan Eggold (Farber Kauffman), Jeffrey Nordling (Brent Barrow), Rick Fox (Prince Tyreese), Billy Brown (Tweety McDaniels), Julian Acosta (Adam Proteau), Larry Miller (Bill Hope), Evan Peters (Craig Hope) & Sharon Lawrence (Cassie Hope)

Brent decides it's time to prove he's the boss, Lucy tries to take down a music mogul's empire, and Don uncovers a politician's sex dungeon...

An anomalous episode this week; God Bless The Child seems like a leftover season 1 script that's been dusted off, as it takes the show back to its crazier routes with a story that caps a big storyline from last year...

At a fundraiser, Lucy (Courteney Cox) bumps into former-client Prince Tyrese (Rick Fox), who was crippled in a revenge attack by music mogul/gangster Tweety McDaniels (Billy Brown) last year. Tyrese has a philosophical outlook on life now, which surprises and impresses Lucy – but also stirs a desire to take down Tweety's empire. Her investigations reveal evidence that Tweety's a rapist, has fathered illegitimate children, and regularly his artists lip-synch on their tracks (ooh, shocker). But is that enough dirt to destroy McDaniels' business?

Elsewhere, Don (Ian Hart) is tasked to snoop into politician Cassie Hope's (Sharon Lawrence) private life with her husband Bill (Larry Miller), so parks outside their house waiting for scurrilous activity. It's not long before he spots their rebellious teenage son Craig (Evan Peters) and introduces himself. Fortunately, Craig seems eager to spill the beans on his parents to embarrass them, and invites Don inside to show him a secret sex dungeon they use.

Don looks to have hit pay-dirt, but Craig shows his true colours and knocks Don unconscious. Our paparazzo wakes up to find himself half-naked in kinky restraints, unable to escape Craig's torture by cigarette burns. Even the arrival of Craig's parents fails to improve matters, as the Hopes are convinced the situation can't be rectified and will certainly damage their careers when it gets out. Their only way out is to kill Don...

Brent Barrow (Jeffrey Nordling) makes a welcome return after his blink-and-miss-it appearance in the premiere. Here, the seedy publisher aims to impose his superiority on Lucy by masterminding the sale of DirtNow magazine to playboy multi-millionaire Adam Proteau (Julian Acosta) – a man who insists on seeing Brent's penis before he'll talk business.

There's some degree of entertainment to be had here, mainly with the episode's more outrageous moments (Don's S&M capture, Brent's penis initiation, Tweety's fiery comeuppance), but it all sat a bit awkwardly. I don't think we needed to see Prince Tyrese again, while the consequent return of Tweety McDaniels was similarly backwards-looking. Billy Brown makes for a decent villain, but I still have a tough time taking anyone named after a Loony Tune character seriously!

Sharon Lawrence and Larry Miller did well with two underwritten roles, but it's a shame those talented actors weren't utilized better. Their storyline with Don slowly lost its spark, although Don's capture and the debate about killing him were undoubtedly the two moments that stick in the mind with this episode. Even if his survival was never in doubt..

God Bless The Child coasted on fumes and played like a reheated season 1 script, basically. While I hope it signals a return to last year's more ribald attitude, I suspect it's just a blip. Still, it was great to see Brent being a weasel behind Lucy's back again, and his alliance with a womanizing rich kid should provide some fireworks when Lucy realizes "her" magazine is now under new management.

Overall, I'm sensing a slump in season 2. The rude, crude and lewd anything-goes sensibility of season 1 has been watered down a tad too much. There were echoes here in a few scenes, but I miss the recurring storylines that grabbed your interest and kept you watching to see how things developed. The standalone plots haven't been particularly good so far, and Dirt could do with a decent hook to keep you coming back every week. 3 episodes into a 7-episode sophomore year, and still no sign of the season arc...


12 May 2008
Fiver, 9.00 pm

Don't blink, it's a BAFTA!

Carey Mulligan as Sally Sparrow, in the BAFTA-winning Blink...

Steven Moffat won Best Writer at last night's BAFTA Craft Awards for Blink, his third season episode of Doctor Who. He beat Tony Marchant (The Mark of Cain), Jimmy McGovern (The Street) and Heidi Thomas (Cranford).

Congratulations, Mr Moff! It's great to see something a little different take a top award, particularly as Blink was a standalone episode and the competitors were big ongoing series.

The meticulous plotting, inventiveness and scares in Blink were truly exceptional. I'm really looking forward to Moffatt's big two-part episode on Doctor Who in a few weeks, aren't you?

TIN MAN – "Into The Storm" (Part 1 of 3)

Writers: Steve Mitchell & Craig Van Sickle
Director: Nick Willing

Cast: Zooey Deschanel (DG), Richard Dreyfuss (The Mystic Man), Raoul Trujillo (Raw), Callum Keith Rennie (Zero), Kathleen Robertson (Azkadellia), Alan Cumming (Glitch), Anna Galvin (Lavender Eyes), Neal McDonough (Wyatt Cain), Blu Mankuma (Tutor), Shawn MacDonald (Lylo), Jason Schombing (Antoine DeMilo), Ted Whittall (Ahamo), Ian Wallace (Raynz), Donny Lucas (Vy-Sor), Gwynyth Walsh (Emily), Kevin McNulty (Hank) & Rachel Pattee (Young DG)

A waitress is transported to the magical Outer Zone, where she teams up with three bizarre friends to defeat an evil sorceress and rescue her birth mother...

"The little bitch has gone to see the wizard."

-- Azkadellia (Kathleen Robertson)

The television mini-series. Is there a more unpredictable format for success or failure? For every Merlin with Sam Neill, there's a Jack & The Beanstalk with Matthew Modine. For every Lost Room with Peter Krause, there's a Snow Queen with Bridget Fonda.

The latest mini-series comes courtesy of The Sci-Fi Channel, producers of the aforementioned Lost Room and Steven Spielberg's Taken (a 2003 Emmy winner), so they have a decent pedigree with this stuff. But both those shows had original concepts that justified their runtime, whereas their latest offering needlessly skews a children's classic into a disappointing shape. It's The (Not So) Wonderful Wizard Of Oz, here re-branded as Tin Man...

A sci-fi re-imagining of L. Frank Baum's novels (he wrote 15, but most people are only familiar with the first, the basis for the 1939 Judy Garland movie), Tin Man stars Zooey Deschanel as DG, a wistful tomboy Kansas waitress who's been having dreams about a lavender-eyed woman (Anna Galvin) and spends her free time drawing fantasy pictures.

Unbeknownst to DG, there exists a genuine fantasy world called the Outer Zone (OZ, geddit?) which is under the control of bosomy sorceress Azkadellia (Kathleen Robertson), who sends her Gestapo-style thugs ("Longcoats") through a storm to capture DG – only for her to escape their clutches with her parents and return to the OZ herself, via a tornado.

Once there, DG meets three odd characters on her journey to find her missing parents: Glitch (Alan Cumming), a half-brained man with a zipper on his cranium (analogous to the Scarecrow), Raw (Raoul Trujillo), a hairy man-beast with psychic powers (analogous to the Cowardly Lion), and Wyatt Cain (Neal McDonough), a former-cop (analogous to the Tin Man).

Let's just cut to the chase: Tin Man is terrible. Everything good about it has its basis in Baum's novel, while all the new material is awful and the tweaks to the famous story are ill-advised and undercooked. I mean, this is a sci-fi re-imagining that doesn't think to turn its Tin Man character into a high-tech cyborg! Instead, a "tin man" is just the OZ term for a police officer. How bland can you get?

As our heroine, Zooey Deschanel certainly looks the part (a diminutive brunette with saucer-eyes), but her whiny voice clashes with her elfin looks, and DG is written as a humourless tomboy. Her reactions are also totally unbelievable: after landing in OZ, where she's confronted by tiny men with painted faces, who capture her and dangle her inside a cage high up amongst their tree-houses – she barely even questions the experience! There's no sense of joyous wonder, no disbelief at the sights she sees -- nothing. With a central character who fails to delight in the experience of being whisked to a magical realm, it quickly becomes just as joyless for the viewer.

Alan Cumming is the best of DG's friends, although Glitch's tendency to "glitch" (repeat his words, etc.) is a trait best suited to a malfunctioning robot, surely? Cumming essentially regurgitates his pallid oddball shtick from Spy Kids, but it's a great deal more interesting than what anyone else is doing on-screen. As Raw, Raoul Trujillo makes no impression, not helped by some terrible make-up (fur coat with a Rod Stewart wig), and Cain (Neal McDonough; no stranger to low-budget crud) isn't too bad, it's just that he's not like what you want a Tin Man to be. There's a thin attempt to justify his metallic name, as DG and Glitch meet him imprisoned in a man-shaped metal cage, but it's nowhere near enough.

With a quartet of boring, bland, disappointing heroes, any hope for some scene-chewing villainy is extinguished too. Kathleen Robertson makes a moderate impression as a quivery-lipped evil sorceress, upstaged by her heaving bosoms, but she lacks malice and there's no chilly humour to her performance. Azkadellia's right-hand man Zero (Battlestar Galactica's Callum Keith Rennie) looks imposing as the Aryan leader of her Nazi-style Longcoats, but it's all surface-level shine. He's as clichéd and boring as everyone else.

I mean, seriously – nothing of importance works. It's just a procession of poor-to-middling FX and dumb skewing of the classic characters. The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz himself (whose identity is one of the novels' big surprises) is introduced halfway through as The Mystic Man: a zonked-out Richard Dreyfuss, sat on a hovering chair of peacock feathers with a face covered in chalk. It's really quite tragic to behold.

Tin Man starts off very on-the-nose, crawls along in OZ disappointing you at every turn, until things eventually pick up pace in the last 30-minutes. But even then it's only because there are revelations that, while painfully easy to predict (guess who DG's related to, folks?), at least exhibit forward momentum. Sadly, even the episode's best idea (flying bat-monkeys that sprout from tattoo's on Azkadellia's boobs) is fudged by poor CGI. And the idea was stolen from box-office dud Elektra, anyway -- of all things!

Retro-1930s sci-fi, mixed with fantasy traditions, seen through the lens of Baum's classic novel, should have been much, much better than this. It's a witless rethink made by people who don't understand what made The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz so beloved. It wastes the talents of Cumming and Deschanel, lacks the budget to brings its ideas to life, underwrites every character, and limped along so badly that when the obligatory cliffhangers arrived (with characters in peril) I really couldn't care less about their fate.

Insipid, uninspired, slow, irritating and not worth anyone's time or effort (especially viewers). Only my commitment to review Tin Man kept me watching after the first hour, and I certainly won't be watching the next two parts. If you want to visit Oz, I recommend you get the Judy Garland movie on DVD or read the book: incredibly, it's 108 years old -- but the story and characters surpass Tin Man in every respect.


11 May 2008
The Sci-Fi Channel, 8.00 pm

MAD MEN 1.11 - "Indian Summer"

Writers: Tom Palmer & Matthew Weiner
Director: Tim Hunter

Cast: Jon Hamm (Don Draper), Vincent Kartheiser (Pete Campbell), January Jones (Betty), Christina Hendricks (Joan), Elisabeth Moss (Peggy Olson), Aaron Hill (Carl Winters), Maggie Siff (Rachel Menken), Bryan Batt (Salvatore), Rich Sommer (Harry), Aaron Staton (Ken), Michael J. X. Gladis (Paul), John Slattery (Roger Sterling), Robert Morse (Bertram Cooper), Talia Balsam (Mona Sterling), Joel Murray (Fred Rumsen), Anne Dudek (Francine Hanson), Andy Umberger (Dr. Arnold Wayne), Jay Paulson (Adam Whitman), Rebecca Creskoff (Barbara Zax), John Cullum (Lee Garner Sr.), Aaron Hill (Carl Winter) & Adam Kaufman (Bob Shaw)

Peggy gets assigned to a new project, Don is given an opportunity provided by Roger's health issues, and Betty's frustrations lead her to seek relief...

"Look, I want to tell you something because you're very
dear to me, and I hope you understand it comes from
the bottom of my damaged, damaged heart. You are
the finest piece of ass I ever had and I don't care who
nows it. I am so glad I got to roam those hillsides."

-- Roger (John Slattery) to Joan (Christina Hendricks)

As we approach the finale, there are some significant developments in Mad Men this week, as Manhattan bakes in an October heat-wave...

We start with Adam Whitman (Jay Paulson), Don's ostracised brother, who commits suicide by hanging himself, shortly after arranging for a shoe-box package to be sent to his estranged elder sibling...

At Sterling Cooper, Roger (John Slattery) is recovering from his heart-attack, but work continues as usual. The ad men assemble in Don's (Jon Hamm) office to mull over how to market a pair of plastic knickers that apparently promote weight loss when an electric current is sent through them. This "Electrosizer" is beyond the men's experience, so Don asks Peggy (Elisabeth Moss) to take them away and come up with something, as he was impressed by her abilities with the Belle Jolie lipstick project.

Peggy takes the Electrosizer home and tries it out while lying on her bed. To her surprise, the garment vibrates and gives her a thrill, so she hurriedly takes them off in embarrassment. The next day, Peggy awkwardly confesses to Don that the Electrosizer has benefits unrelated to weight-loss because of its vibrations. Don picks up on the hint and asks her to figure out how to put that into words, without really saying it.

Cooper (Robert Morse) is worried about the state of the company now that word has spread about Roger's heart-attack, as Lucky Strike have closed their account out of nerves. He tells Don their reps will be arriving for an important lunch tomorrow, and Roger has to be in attendance.

Meanwhile, Betty (January Jones) gets a visit from a handsome air conditioning salesman called Bob Shaw (Adam Kaufman). Due to the extreme heat outside, he asks for a glass of water and Betty obliges. Now inside the Draper home, Bob takes some measurements for an air-con unit, despite being told Betty's husband is himself a salesman. He seems amiable enough, so she leads him upstairs to inspect her bedroom, before she's suddenly gripped by uneasiness over the prospect of taking a handsome man into a private area, so asks him to leave when they're both half-way upstairs. Bob politely leaves, a little disappointed. That night, Betty tells Don about the salesman's visit, but is upset when he has a strong reaction about letting strangers into his house.

Roger arrives back at the office in high spirits with his wife Mona (Talia Balsam), refreshed and ready for his meeting with Lucky Strike's reps to alleviate their concerns. But it seems his brush with death has only made him more determined to pursue office girl Joan (Christina Hendricks), whom he professes his adoration for in private as she applies make-up this face, trying to make him look even healthier.

The meeting with Lucky Strike's reps, led by Lee Garner Sr (John Cullum), begins in the office, and Roger's upbeat attitude and charm kicks in with full force. Just as Mr Garner starts to relax, Roger suddenly grabs his chest in pain and is quickly wheeled away into an ambulance – leaving Mona to put the blame on Cooper for rushing her husband back to work so soon.

The obvious seriousness with Roger has everyone on edge now, with Pete (Vincent Karthesier) and the other execs debating what will happen to Sterling Cooper if Roger dies, or is forced to retire. Harry (Rich Sommer) is convinced Don will be made partner, which rankles with Pete.

Peggy goes on a date with a blue-collar truck driver called Carl Winter (Aaron Hill) at a seafood restaurant, but he soon starts belittling her job in the advertising world. Taking great offence at his comment, she leaves for home.

Don phones Dr Wayne (Andy Umberger) to check on Betty's progress in his sessions, but isn't best pleased about how she seemed more fragile now than ever before. Dr Wayne suggests more intensive sessions of psychoanalysis, but Don is unsure and hangs up.

The next day, the ad men assemble in the conference room to watch Peggy give her presentation on the Electrosizer. She summarizes the product by saying: "women lose weight so they’ll feel good about themselves. Combined with a sensible diet, the Rejuvenator – you'll love the way it makes you feel." They all like her pitch but are still confused as to what it actually does. Don pipes up, saying: "from what I understand, it provides the pleasure of a man without the man." Don isn't enamoured with Peggy's new product name, or the exact phrasing about its real use, but he's impressed with her take. All of the men congratulate Peggy as they leave.

At the Draper residence, Betty could do with one of the Electrosizers, as she finds herself fantasizing about having passionate sex with salesman Bob, while pressing herself against a vibrating washing machine.

Growing more confident by the day, Peggy asks Don for $5 raise per week because of her recent extracurricular work for him. She's interrupted by Cooper, who takes Don into Roger's office and formally offers him a partnership. Don immediately accepts. Pete arrives to congratulate him seconds later, as Don leaves for home, taking the time to agree to Peggy's pay-rise and award her the rest of the day off, too.

Pete creeps into Don's soon-to-be-old office and sizes it up for himself, sitting at the desk and soaking up the ambience with a dreamy look in his eyes. Just then, a postman arrives with Adam's shoe-box package, mistaking Pete for Don Draper. Intrigued by the strange box and its scrawled writing, Pete can't resist taking it away with him...

Indian Summer was a very good episode; progressing Peggy and Don's storylines, while setting up embarrassment for Don when Pete inevitably looks inside Adam's shoe-box and realizes his "perfect" boss has a hidden past.

I particularly liked the way Peggy looks capable of a job in advertising (Belle Jolie wasn't a fluke), and was quite heartened to see the men aren't sexist enough to snub her efforts on principle. That would have been the easier road to take from a storytelling standpoint, but I'm glad Peggy's earned some genuine respect from her "superiors". I have my fingers crossed it doesn't all come crashing down around her in the finale. And was it my imagination, or did Elisabeth Moss look a bit chubbier here? I half-suspected they'd applied prosthetics to her – just so they could strip them away when the Electrosizer worked. And her date with the trucker seemed to come out of nowhere, didn't it?

The other story of interest was ailing Roger, with Don now primed to takeover from his "mentor" and friend as partner. It's a dog-eat-dog world, so is this the last we'll see of Roger? Perhaps not. Surely his wife Mona has to discover her husband's affair with Joan, as otherwise that whole storyline has been unnecessary. But if Roger comes back full-time after convalescing properly, does that mean the company becomes Sterling Cooper & Draper? Cooper Draper or Draper Cooper just don't sound right, do they?

Betty had some short-but-sweet scenes, and it's clear she's just as bored by her sex-life as her husband Don. It's just that she's too honest and straight-laced to do anything but fantasize in private, unlike Don who jumps into bed with any attractive woman that looks his way. Is she just a bored housewife having naughty private thoughts, or is she genuinely aching to be swept off her feet now?

Regarding the Dr Wayne subplot – where is that going exactly? It's a bit creepy how Don is controlling his wife like thus, but it seems to come from a genuine desire to help her... I just don't see the point in any of it yet. And whatever happened to Betty's numb hands? Her medical condition was introduced as something important way back in the early episodes, but it hasn't reoccurred, or even been mentioned since! Did the writers abandon that idea quietly? I can't believe Matthew Weiner wouldn't have pre-planned that subplot for the season -- so what happened to it?

Overall, Indian Summer was enjoyable and quite an important episode, as a few big steps were taken in the narrative, while the sticky-heat ambience gave things an even more oppressive and stifling feel. There are a few storylines that now seem a bit redundant or weakly-executed (unless there's a rapid turnaround in the last 2 episodes), but the important plots are developing rather nicely. But is Don's farm boy past a revelation that's going to create the desired punch? I still have my doubts about that, unless there's an even more sinister aspect to it we haven't been told yet...


11 May 2008
BBC Four, 10.00 pm

LOST 4.10 – "Something Nice Back Home"

Writers: Adam Horowitz & Edward Kitsis
Director: Stephen Williams

Cast: Matthew Fox (Jack), Emilie de Ravin (Claire), Josh Holloway (Sawyer), Daniel Dae Kim (Jin), Yunjin Kim (Sun), Jorge Garcia (Hurley), Evangeline Lilly (Kate), Rebecca Mader (Charlotte), Jeremy Davies (Faraday), Ken Leung (Miles), Elizabeth Mitchell (Juliet), Sam Anderson (Bernard), Jeff Fahey (Frank), L. Scott Caldwell (Rose Nadler) & Kevin Durand (Keamy)

Jack is taken seriously ill and Juliet has to operate to save his life...

Jack: Why aren't you taking your meds?

Hurley: 'Cause we're dead. All of us. All the
Oceanic six. We're all dead. We never got off that island.

Remember when Jack (Matthew Fox) was the star of the show? The hero? The lead? "Our guy" as scripts referred to him? I suppose he still is, but he rarely gets the chance to prove it. As Lost roams further away from season 1's survivalist drama (remember when hunting boar was the big issue of the day?) poor Jack often gets left behind. The flashforwards at the end of season 3 hinted that Jack would regain his Alpha Male status and lead some of the plane-wrecked to salvation... but even that heroic certainty is tinged with foreknowledge that he'll only give 5 people a reprieve. And their freedom will come at a cost...

On the island, Jack collapses on the beach. Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell) diagnoses him with appendicitis. Fortunately, it hasn't ruptured yet – but unless Juliet operates to remove it, Jack will die. She gives Sun (Yunjin Kim), Jin (Daniel Dae Kim), Charlotte (Rebecca Mader) and Faraday (Jeremy Davies) a list of equipment she needs retrieved from the medical station, as Jack is made comfortable in his tent.

Flashforwards reveal that Jack is living a seemingly happy existence with Kate (Evangeline Lilly) and her "son" Aaron, having settled the differences that separated them during the flashforwards seen in Eggtown. Life seems good, as Jack make a good father figure for Aaron (reading him Alice's Adventures In Wonderland), and he seems head-over-heels in love with Kate.

Elsewhere on the island, Sawyer (Josh Holloway), Claire (Emilie de Ravin), baby Aaron and Miles (Ken Leung) are making their way back to beach, having decided to leave Locke's group. For the first time in ages, Miles exhibits his paranormal abilities – picking up psychic echoes of the ambush by Keamy's men on Rousseau, Karl and Alex. Digging under the dirt, Miles discovers the buried bodies of Karl and Rousseau, much to Sawyer's astonishment. So I guess that long-awaited Rousseau flashback will have to take a left-turn at some point.

On the beach, Bernard (Sam Anderson) and Rose (L. Scott Caldwell) help sterilize the area for Jack's operation. Bernard comments about Jack's bad luck in getting ill, but Rose is convinced this island on heals people – and isn't it strange how the person who's going to lead them to rescue is suddenly struck down sick? It's almost as if the island doesn't want them to leave...

Jack wants to be awake during the operation so he can help guide Juliet through the procedure, despite the fact she's performed appendectomies before. He also wants Kate present, holding a mirror so he can see what's going on.

In another flashforward, Jack sees a ghostly flash of his dead father Christian while at work in the hospital, before he's called away to visit Hurley (Jorge Garcia) at Santa Rose. According to Dr Stillman, Hurley is refusing to take his medication, so Jack agrees to talk to his friend. In Hurley's room, Jack hears how Hurley thinks the Oceanic Six never "got off the island" and how the ghost of Charlie has been visiting him. This strikes a chord with Jack, who's been seeing ghosts himself, but it particularly spooks him when Hurley delivers a message from Charlie: "you're not supposed to raise him, Jack." Is this referring to Aaron? Jack gets angry and tells Hurley to just take his meds, before Hurley gives Jack another message from Charlie – someone is going to visit him, soon.

At home, Jack tells Kate about his visit to see Hurley, before asking for her hand in marriage. After presenting her with a diamond ring, Kate accepts and they embrace, although Jack still looks a little anxious.

On the island, Sun's party find the medical hatch and go inside. Jin and Sun both notice chemistry between Faraday and Charlotte, with the former clearly smitten. They gather Juliet's supplies, as Jin confides in Sun (speaking in Korean) about how Faraday and Charlotte aren't here to help them. At that same moment, Jin notices Charlotte eavesdropping, realizing she can speak Korean. He confronts her about it and she plays dumb for awhile, until he threatens to hurt Faraday. She then admits she understands, and Jin makes her promise to get Sun on the helicopter bound for the freighter. She agrees.

Sawyer's group are still trekking through the jungle as the bump into Frank (Jeff Fahey), leading Keamy's men to his helicopter. He tells them hide as Keamy's men are close behind. So it seems they manages to survive the smoke monster's attack in last week's episode.

Jack's surgery begins, now that Juliet has her equipment. Jack tries to cope with the pain, but Juliet isn't happy continuing under these conditions. She makes the decision to knock Jack unconscious, so Bernard anaesthetizes him with a chloroformed rag.

In flashforward, Jack is working late at the hospital but is disturbed by a bleeping smoke detector in reception. He takes out its battery, then sees his dead father sitting in a chair close by. He approaches slowly, the ghost refusing to disappear, but then a colleague interrupts him and Christian vanishes. Jack asks his colleague for some clonazepam to help him sleep, and she obliges. Later, at home, Jack catches Kate talking to someone on the phone (as if she's planning something), but claims it's a friend.

In the present, the operation has gone well. Juliet tells Kate that Jack should make a good recovery... before confessing that Jack kisses her awhile back, but it was clearly an act designed to prove he didn't love someone else: Kate. Grateful for Juliet's honesty, Kate leaves. Then Juliet tells Jack she knows he's awake, and he opens his eyes.

The last flashforward finds Kate coming home, surprised to see Jack home early. He confronts her about her absence, and she asks him to trust her. He can't. He demands to know what's going on, and Kate admits she promised Sawyer she'd do something for him. They have an argument, with Jack making it clear Sawyer decided to stay and he was the one who got them off the island. Finally, he yells about how Aaron isn't even related to her, after Aaron appears in the doorway. Kate sees to her son as Jack leaves.

Back on the island, Sawyer, Claire and Miles are sleeping in a camp. Claire wakes up and sees her dad Christian (also Jack's dad, but she doesn't know this) holding baby Aaron in his arms. The next morning, Sawyer wakes up and finds that Claire has gone. Miles informs him that she left with someone she called "dad" last night, and Sawyer goes off in search. He hears a baby crying and eventually finds Aaron abandoned in a blanket – but there's no sign of Claire, or her mysterious visitor...

I still like Jack, but his days as the centre of island activity is long gone. I'm sure he'll stage a comeback of sorts when the Oceanic Six make their escape, but for now he's stuck in a rut. The appendicitis idea was pretty good (love the idea the island's made him sick as a punishment for trying to escape) and the resulting operation held my interest, even if the visit to the medical hatch for equipment didn't add much – beyond knowledge Charlotte can speak Korean and has an admirer in Faraday.

The flashforwards were solid fare, even if the sudden pre-marital bliss of Jack and Kate tied-up the intriguing dangling thread from Eggtown without any answer for why Jack changed his mind about seeing Aaron. And it seems increasingly likely future-Jack knows Kate's adopted child is his half-nephew, and consequently that Claire is/was his half-sister. Matthew Fox is very good at playing Jack as the slightly-unhinged hero, and this episode gave him plenty of opportunities to look perturbed, bitter and angry.

It was also great to see Christian back, albeit in spectral form both on and off the island. It looks like the writers are about to tackle the fact Jack and Claire unwittingly share the same father, so that should be fun to see. And mythology geeks will be chewing over the fact ghost-Christian could hold baby Aaron, suggesting these apparitions have corporeal physicality.

Miles' psychic abilities made a welcome return (it's surely a matter of time before weirdness like the whispers is answered via Miles' gift), but I thought it strange he didn't bat an eyelid at Claire leaving camp with her ghost-dad. Did he know Christian wasn't real? Elsewhere, it was a bit odd that Keamy's and most of his men survived their encounter with the enraged smoke monster – particularly as the creature effortlessly picked off Mr Eko last season. Maybe the beast can't kill indiscriminately, and could only rattle them into fleeing? Whatever the reason for their survival, I don't blame them for beating a hasty retreat to Frank's chopper! Speaking of Frank, it seems he's the only freighter guy who's trustworthy, doesn't it?

Overall, good but unremarkable is how I'd summarised Something Nice Back Home. It's far from terrible, but it's a bit meandering, and it didn't help that it comes hot on the heels of The Shape Of Things To Come (a season highlight). As usual, there are a few titbits of information and intriguing moments to keep you watching, just don't expect to be blown away.

Burning Questions

-- What did Kate promise Sawyer she'd do for him off-island, and why can't she tell Jack about it?

-- Why did Sawyer decide to stay on the island? Was it because, as he's mentioned earlier this season, he's a nobody off-island?

-- Why was Jack told "you're not supposed to raise him, Jack?" by ghost-Charlie, via Hurley? And why didn't ghost-Charlie tell Jack himself? Or doesn't it work that way?

-- Why did Jack change his mind about seeing Aaron, enabling a relationship to develop with Kate?

-- Why is ghost-Christian appearing to Claire on the island, and haunting Jack off the island?

-- Where has Claire gone? Did she go with Christian willingly? Why did she leave Aaron behind? That was uncharacteristically negligent of her, unless she was forced to.

-- Did Miles know Christian was a ghost? If so, why didn't he help Claire?


11 May 2008
Sky One, 9.00 pm

TV Week 3: Battlestar Galactica, Trick Or Treat & Scallywagga

My latest TV Week column is online at Newslite.tv now, so surf that way if you're interested in reading some mini-reviews of the above TV shows.