WRITER: Adrian Hodges DIRECTOR: Cilla Ware
CAST: Douglas Henshall (Prof Nick Cutter), Hannah Spearritt (Abby Maitland), James Murray (Stephen Hart), Andrew-Lee Potts (Connor Temple), Juliet Aubrey (Helen Cutter), Lucy Brown (Claudia Brown) & Ben Miller (James Lester)
After an attack on the London Underground by a giant insect, the team investigate the labyrinth of tunnels..."It's time for adventure" reads the show's slogan –- although "it's time for a nap" might be more fitting. It's not that Primeval is bad television; it's just wholly unoriginal and incredibly predictable.
The premise of Episode 2 has giant insects scurrying around in the Tube, attacking a few people until the team (they don't have a collective name, so "team" will suffice) decide to investigate. So, down they go with an armed unit of expendable men, creep around with torches, before one of them is bitten, meaning they have to collect venom from an Arthropleuragiant (giant centipede) so they can concoct anti-venom. Y'know, the usual stuff...
If you can't second guess the plot as it chugs along on autopilot, you're either under-10 (the ideal age at which to enjoy Primeval) or have managed to avoid every single television sci-fi horror of the past 30 years.
As with last week's episode, the special effects are the main reason to even consider watching. The giant spiders and centipede are good creations, although not as convincing as last week's dinosaurs. The various action sequences with these critters are mildly enjoyable, but ultimately soulless as the characters are empty.
Douglas Hensall is good-looking Scottish boffin Nick Cutter, supposedly a "maverick", which is a label so painfully clichéd it’s difficult for me to type. Henshall plays him overly straight and entirely lacking in charisma. The show's ongoing "mystery" is focused on Henshall's character finding his wife Helen, who bizarrely appears in a ghostly fashion once again. At this stage, I have my own thoughts about what's going on with her, but I have very little faith in the writer's ability to explain it.
The rest of the cast aren't afforded interesting histories. They're just two-dimensional caricatures. Hannah Spearritt certainly looks the part as Abby (a sort of snow-haired pixie), and her acting has undoubtedly improved since those abysmal S Club 7 television shows, but she's nothing more than a sexy zookeeper. Episode 2 squeezes in the beginnings of a love triangle for her between spider attacks, but none of it rings true.
James Murray's entire character can be summed up in one word: handsome. There's really nothing else to say about him! Lucy Brown earns herself two words: attractive professional. Ben Miller's presence is just distracting, as he's synonymous with comedy and he plays his white-collar stiff Lester so straight you're half-certain you're watching a clever pastiche.
Andrew-Lee Potts (his one-word summation is "geek") is the type of handsome nerd writers pretend exist for fear of stereotyping their character otherwise. It's true the spotty social retard is an outdated cliché (no matter how true in some cases), but it never works when a pretty-boy actor has to spout lines about Buffy The Vampire Slayer. It would have been much more convincing if they'd found an actor like Simon Pegg for the role, as putting a boyish model in a trilby and pinning badges to his jacket doesn't work.
In summation, Episode 2 (why no titles?) continues in exactly the same vein as last week's weak opener. It's a formulaic plot with nothing interesting or original to say, performed by attractive but characterless actors, but with impressive special effects to watch.
If you like reheated sci-fi trash, involving lots of CGI and a storyline your grandparents can keep up with, Primeval will be right up your street. I'm sure lots of kids will get a kick out of its "monster of the week" mentality, too. But, for everyone else in this post-Matrix feast of cerebral sci-fi like Lost and Battlestar Galactica, ITV's Primeval is totally disposable and old-fashioned guff.
