As always, we begin outside on the red carpet, where Dame Judi Dench exclaims: "I've just been goosed by somebody!" That's about as exciting as it gets, as we join host Graham Norton for the main event inside. What is it with BBC chat-show hosts presiding over BAFTA, anyway? Norton's pretty funny in these situations and his opening monologue gets some big laughs. The show is "supported by Sky+", not "sponsored by Sky+", which I think is a result of changes to BBC editorial policy thanks to vote-fixing and other breaches of company/viewer trust recently.
8:10 – Sid Owen and Patsy Palmer arrive to present "BEST DRAMA". Owen totally fumbles his last sentence, so that it makes absolutely no sense as we see the nominees: Rome, Skins, Life On Mars, with the winner being The Street. I've never seen it, but it must be very good if it beat that group of fine programmes. Or is it?
8:15 – The lovely Joanna Page and Rob Brydon from Gavin & Stacey arrive, presenting "BEST COMEDY". The nominees are Star Stories, Russell Brand's Ponderland, The Armstrong & Miller Show, with the winner being Fonejacker. Star Kayvan Novak accepts the award, which it deserved – although I personally thought Fonejacker stretched itself to breaking point. Star Stories was more consistently silly and fun.
8:20 – Olympian Denise Lewis and 13-year-old diving star Tom Daley present the award for "SPORTS COVERAGE": Wimbledon Men's Final 2006, The Boat Race, Rugby World Cup 2007 Semi-Final and the winner – ITVs Formula 1 Canadian Grand Prix. That was well deserved, as the other nominees (while great productions) don't really change or impress. I mean, who watches Wimbledon and gets particularly impressed by how things are shown? It's just various cameras filming men hitting balls, isn't it? I'm no F1 fan, but the coverage is far more exciting and multi-faceted. Amusingly, ITV have lost the rights to F1 now, so the BAFTA-winning team make a plea for work!
8.25 – The "AUDIENCE AWARD" is foreshadowed, by showing clips of two nominees: Strictly Come Dancing and Gavin & Stacey.
8:27 – Sexy Alesha Dixon and despicable Piers Morgan present "ENTERTAINMENT PERFORMANCE". The nominees are: Alan Carr & Justin Lee Collins for Friday Night Project, Simon Amstell for Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Stephen Fry for QI, and the winner was Harry Hill for his TV Burp show. Harry makes a predictable bonkers acceptance speech that isn't actually that funny, but he's obviously a popular winner. I do think TV Burp is becoming overrated now, but it's a deserved win.
8:32 – Beautiful newsreader Fiona Bruce and Ross Kemp take to the stage for "CURRENT AFFAIRS". Kemp barks his way through the autocue, while Bruce's dulcet tones keep everyone rapt. The nominees: Dispatches – Fighting The Taliban, Panorama – Dog Trafficking Undercover, Honour Kills and the winner was China's Stolen Children – A Dispatches Special. What, no Ross Kemp In Afghanistan? I bet he wasn't very happy! The team behind Stolen Children make a touching speech about remembering the plight of China's kids.
8:37 – There's always a faded US star at the BAFTAs, and it's Dallas' Patrick Duffey this year. He presents "CONTINUING DRAMA". Nominees were: The Bill, EastEnders, Emmerdale and the winner was Holby City. I don't watch much Holby City, but when I dipped in a few months back it did look much slicker than I expected it to. And it's nice to see the high-rated soaps get put in their place.
8:42 – More "AUDIENCE AWARD" nominees: Andrew Marr's A Modern History Of Britain and The Apprentice.
8:44 – Dan Stevens (who's he?) and bonkers Claudia Winkleman arrive to present "FEATURE". The nominees are: Heston Blumenthal's Search For Perfection, Top Gear, The Secret Millionaire and the winner is Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. Gordon Ramsey isn't there to accept it, or on a live video link to the US (where I bet he is). Shame.
8:48 – Heroes stars Milo Ventimiglia and Adrian Pasdar present "DRAMA SERIAL". The nominees are Cranford, Five Days, Murphy's Law, but the winner is Britz.
8:53 – Life On Mars' John Simm (in a big, bushy beard) presents "SINGLE DOCUMENTARY", with the nominees being Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives, Malcolm & Barbara – Love's Farewell, Beautiful Young Minds and the winner The Lie Of The Land. I didn't see any of those.
8:57 – Skins star Nicholas Holt and Ashes To Ashes' Keeley Hawes are up next, presenting "ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAMME". The nominees are: Strictly Come Dancing, Have I Got News For You and Britain's Got Talent -- but Harry Hill's TV Burp scoops its second award. It seems to be flavour of the month.
9:01 – The obituaries are next; a part of awards shows that I always enjoy, rather morbidly. But it's always touching to be reminded of the entertainment stars who have left us. Of the many shown, these stuck in my head: Hilda Braid, Anton Rodgers, Jeremy Beadle, Ronnie Hazelhurst, Brian Wilde, Mark Speight, Verity Lambert, Mike Reid and Anthony Minghella. All will be missed.
9:05 – Trevor Eve presents "SINGLE DRAMA". The nominees were: The Trial Of Tony Blair, Boy A, Coming Down The Mountain and the winner Mark Of Cain.
9:10 – Simon Pegg arrives and gives perhaps the funniest quick speech before handing out the award for "COMEDY PERFORMANCE". Nominees: Stephen Merchant for Extras Christmas Special, David Mitchell for Peep Show, Peter Capaldi for The Thick Of It, and the winner James Corden for Gavin & Stacey. It's a show I still haven't seen, so I personally thought Capaldi might have it.
9:15 – Phil Spencer and Kirstie Allsopp from Location, Location, Location present "FACTUAL SERIES", with the nominees being Paul Merton In China, Tribe, Meet The Natives and the winner The Tower – A Tale Of Two Cities.
9:19 – Two more "AUDIENCE AWARD" clips: Cranford and Britain's Got Talent.
9:21 – It's John Hurt, there to present the "SPECIAL AWARD", typically given to people 95% of viewers at home have no clue about. It's won by Paul Watson for his lifetime's work in documentary. Told you.
9:29 – The ubiquitous Aussie Alan Dale presents "INTERNATIONAL", with the nominees being Californication, Family Guy, My Name Is Earl and the winner Heroes. Funny that, with its two stars in attendance and season 2 starting this week. And what was Family Guy doing in the nominees?
9:33 – I can never decide if Tamzin Outhwaite is attractive or a bit rough, but she presents the "AUDIENCE AWARD" (regardless of what I think). It goes to Gavin & Stacey. Seriously, is this show deserving of all this success? The clips I see never really look that good.
9:37 – Emelia Fox and Hugh Bonneville from Silent Witness (or CSI: Shepherd's Bush as Norton puts it) present the gong for "SITCOM". Gavin & Stacey star James Corden had just spat out some vitriol about how their show couldn't be up for that award, despite being a sitcom. It is stupid, yes. Nominees: Benidorm, The Thick Of It, The IT Crowd and the winner Peep Show. Yes, it's the best of that bunch.
9:40 – Oh, look, it's Joanna Lumley dressed as a carrot. She presents "ACTOR", with the nominees being Matthew Macfadyen for Secret Life, Antony Sher for Primo, Tom Hardy for Stuart – A Life Backwards and the winner Andrew Garfield for Boy A. I only saw Tom Hardy in Stuart, so I can't really judge this.
9:45 – David Morrissey is there to present "ACTRESS". Nominees: Gina McKee for The Street, Kierston Wareing for It's A Free World, Judi Dench for Cranford and the winner Eileen Atkins for Cranford. A gushing luvvie speech revolving around how marvellous Dame Judi Dench is, ensues.
9:49 – The "FELLOWSHIP" award. The film BAFTAs have world-famous actor/director Sir Richard Attenborough to present this. The TV BAFTAs have Paul Merton. But he's funnier, even if he does have a weird habit of putting his hands across his stomach, clasped like a seatbelt. Too many years behind a desk, I reckon. The award goes to Bruce Forsythe. It's obviously deserved, as Brucie's an institution and legend of British TV. And now he's 80, it seems every prestigious show is lining up to shower him wit awards and recognition before he croaks. So get him knighted, pronto!
And that's it! The End. Oh, apart from the quick clips of the awards deemed too boring to show properly: "INTERACTIVITY" goes to Spooks Interactive, "NEWS COVERAGE" goes to Sky News' handling of the Glasgow airport attack, and "SPECIALIST FACTUAL" went to Andrew Marr's A Modern History Of Britain.
Man, that dragged. The first hour was okay, but the last one seemed to go on forever. And no awards for Doctor Who, The Apprentice, or Life On Mars? Madness. Still, at least dull period costume dramas like Cranford didn't sweep the board. I'm still suspicious of Gavin & Stacey's true quality and, while I love Harry Hill's TV Burp, it wasn't at its best this year.
20 April 2008
BBC1, 8.00pm
