DIRT 2.7 - "In Lieu Of Flowers"

Writer: Bart Baker
Director: Chris Long

Cast: Courteney Cox (Lucy), Ian Hart (Don), Alexa Breckenridge (Willa), Josh Stewart (Holt), Will McCormack (Leo Spiller), Ashley Johnson (Sharlee), Ryan Eggold (Farber Kauffman) & Tim Peper (Mitchell Bianchi)

Lucy faces a family tragedy, Don becomes a hero, and Farber tries to protect a friend...

Another casualty of the US writers' strike, Dirt ends its intended 13-episode season with just the seventh episode. To make matters worse, "In Lieu Of Flowers" acts not only as the season finale, but the series ender, too -- as Courteney Cox recently confirmed Dirt has been cancelled. I can't say I'm surprised, as season 2 was a textbook example of a show shooting itself in the foot...

Death is in the air this week, as Lucy (Cox) has to identify the body of publisher Brent Barrow -- who was asphyxiated by fumes from his sports car after arriving home drunk and falling asleep in the garage with the engine running. Now blue-skinned and with an erection, Brent's end is fitting and darkly humorous. Even the slimeball's funeral shows how little people cared, with one man giving a eulogy calling him "Brett". Strangely, only playboy millionaire Adam Proteau (Julian Acosta) seems genuinely upset Brent's gone, despite only knowing him a few weeks. It seems he viewed Brent as a kindred spirit.

Later, Lucy receives news that her mother has died during plastic surgery -- so sets off with brother Leo (Will McCormack) to threaten her incompetent surgeon with exposure for malpractice in DirtNow unless he makes her corpse look beautiful and becomes her new contact for celebrity clientele.

Don (Ian Hart) becomes a hero, as he saves Sharlee's (Ashley Johnson) baby after the harassed pop princess accidentally locks her son inside her SUV and watches helplessly as the vehicle rolls down the street. As gangs of paparazzo take snaps of the unfurling horror, only Don actually does anything to help -- smashing the window and leaping inside to apply the brakes. It's a moment of heroism Lucy chooses to acknowledge by making Don's good deed DirtNow's latest cover-story.

There's also a little subplot for a celebrity based on Kirstie Alley, whose fluctuating weight is the latest hot gossip every magazine wants a piece of. It doesn't really go anywhere very interesting, although the scene where she starts spraying the intrusive paps with pepper spray was amusing.

Lucy and Holt (Josh Stewart) also grow closer, although Lucy is initially reticent to let Holt comfort her over her mother's passing. But still, in the end, he gives her an ultimatum about where their relationship is heading, and she decides to let him into her life -- fully.

Finally, Farber (Ryan Eggold) promises to help a closeted gay friend stay out of the tabloids, after he was caught getting oral sex from a man. Unfortunately, Willa gets hold of the story behind Farber's back and runs with it.

There was enough going on to make this an easy episode to watch, especially compared to the recent clunkers, but Dirt is so full of bad creative decisions it's painful. Despite the fact Lucy's brother made a return, the fact he killed Julia Mallory by hitting her with his car wasn't brought up, or even alluded to. It's like the writers just don't want to go down that route, which is maddening as it would actually be very interesting -- y'know, Lucy's brother killed her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. Maybe there were plans for this to be returned to, but the fact it wasn't even mentioned in the first 7 episodes (of an intended 13) makes me think the writers were happy to ignore it.

Still, at least someone remembered Brent Barrow's sex tapes. Julian finds them and gives the one marked "LUCY" to Lucy, who plays it and finds Willa dressed as her (well, in a black wig) ready to insert a wine bottle into Brent's behind. While it was nice to see the Willa/Brent thing returned to, wasn't last year's inference over the "LUCY" tape actually in preparation of Brent bedding Lucy one day? A bit of a ret-con, I reckon.

But really, Dirt's second season is typified by mystifying story decisions: why is Julian's relationship with Lucy so rosy? That's boring. He was introduced as if he was going to be the thorn in Lucy's side -- but that never happened. And why kill Lucy's mother, off-screen? It carried no dramatic weight. Why kill her anyway? Maybe the actress wasn't interested in returning, but it could still have been handled better. Also, despite the fact making Don "normal" marked some progression and development for him, it also took away a lot of the unpredictability and energetic charge Don had in season 1.

Basically, season 2 was a mess. Nothing developed plausibly, or went anywhere interesting. I'm sure problems were exacerbated by the writers' strike, but there was no clear direction or sense of control at any stage whatsoever. The characters all became uninteresting and laborious to watch, while the decision to abandon season 1's edgier style (and just repackage reality with broad parodies of celebs) was a disaster.

What was the point of Don's brother? Why bother killing Lucy's mother? Why didn’t they go with the Leo/Julia hit-and-run story? Why did the writers decide to make Julian an ally of Lucy? Was anyone interested in seeing Lucy and Holt get back together -- really? Why did Lucy fool around with that Ted guy for a few episodes? Was the Don/Sharlee relationship ever going anywhere? Questions, questions, questions. And now, no answers. Dirt is cancelled. I enjoyed season 1 as a guilty pleasure, but season 2 marked a massive downturn in quality. I stuck with it, because I knew it was only 7 episodes long, but if you ever need a reference point for a TV show that failed to capitalize on its momentum in season 2, and destroyed itself by trying to "evolve" -- look no further.

Hopefully Ian Hart, Courteney Cox and Alexa Breckenridge will go onto bigger and better things as actors, but as exec-producer Cox has to share the blame for how awkward and badly-written Dirt became.


9 June 2008
Fiver, 9.00 pm