The boring fifth series of Celebrity Big Brother, crippled by its Z-list housemates and the unwanted invasion of Jade Goody's clan, has descendes into train wreck status, spearheaded by alleged racism towards attractive Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty.Is it an overreaction? Perhaps. But 33,000 complaints can't be ignored. The people of India have even been burning efigy's of the Big Brother producers on the streets (do they get Channel 4?)
Needless to say, as a result of this upset, ratings have rocketed. Tony Blair was even quizzed over it in Parliament. Endemol must be laughing all the way to the bank -- a Big Brother flop has now become the most talked-about series ever. The New York Times even ran a feature on the Jade vs Shilpa goings-on!
The thought of Britons tuning in to try and witness a bit of racism is unsettling, but very human. Racism is dramatic, even if it's distasteful to viewers. I hope Shilpa outstays her abusers in the house, although I don't envy her having to sit through more abuse just to claim this vacuous title.
Apparently, housemates who walk off the show aren't getting paid their fee this year. I'm not sure if that's true, but there are reports Donny Tourette tried to get back in once he found out! He should have read his contract as carefully as Leo Sayer before getting H from Steps to give him a peg-up over the wall, eh?
So is money the reason why Shilpa doesn't just leave? Is she prepared to suffer racist abuse for the pay cheque at the end?
It has struck me from day one that Shilpa was least prepared for Big Brother. Her reactions to various things was of wide-eyed innocence, while the rest of the BB-savvy housemates sat around correctly predicting twists and probable events in the house. She was always at a disadvantage (even fellow foreigners Jermaine Jackson and Dirk Benedict had an idea what was in store through the pop-culture surrounding reality TV these days).
Still, if the British housemates are so clued up, why don't they realize their attitudes will look bad on TV? Celebrities have more to lose than regular people, in terms of career, so why even risk bad-mouthing anybody? Perhaps it reveals just how much of a pressure cooker the BB house is -- something you don't really understand from watching an hour's highlights each day.
If peoples' true colours really are being shown, they're murky greys and dark blacks. Danielle Lloyd, the scouse girlfriend of footballer Teddy Sheringham, struts around like a vindictive little madam with half a braincell. She may be beautiful, but her ignorance and intolerance makes her the ugliest one in there.
Jo O'Meara, who was always presented as the most talented, normal, genuine and smiley member of pop group S Club 7, appears to be a sour-faced grump who likes to stick the boot in.
Jade Goody (who is of mixed race), is someone who embraces her own dumbness (it's made her a fortune), but her attempts to appear neutral and diplomatic infront of Shilpa are constantly blown apart when caught bitching with the other girls soon after... or forgetting her "performance" and just letting rip.
Jade's boyfriend Jack, who says little of importance ("what's an envyo?"), was rumoured to have called Shilpa a paki, although Channel 4 deny this. But his suggestion that Shilpa clean a toilet "with her teeth", after Shilpa had blocked it with soup, was a worryingly base comment so odd even Shilpa shrugged it off as a failed gag.
Jackiey Budden, Jade's mum, was booted off the show before the racist furore took hold, but calling Shilpa "The Indian" in some interviews and infamously failing to pronounce her name properly doesn't look good. However, in Jackiey's case I'm actually more inclined to believe her ignorance and low-IQ was more to blame.
I can't wait to see what all these people have to say for themselves when they come out. I hope none of them take the cowardy option and walk out -- to be prepped by publicists into apologizing and giving half-arsed reasons for any uncharacteristic behaviour -- as Leo Sayer clearly was.
No, let each one be booted out by the public and tell Davina to grow some balls and ask them directly about all this. I sincerely hope Danielle, Jo, Jade and Jack can persuade me it was actually a "clash of cultures" (as Channel 4 have suggested), but let them speak for themselves.
So, has it all been blown out of proportion? Shilpa can be a bit annoying sometimes, and tipping a bowl of soup down a toilet was never going to be a good idea, but she hasn't done anything to deserve this level of abuse. The arguing over how long she should be cooking a chicken was unbelievable!
I really hope the abuse stems from boredom and not genuine malice. Sometimes it just kills time to gossip and bitch about people, and the BB housemates have a LOT of time to kill... but I wouldn't get my hopes up over a post-BB modelling career, Danielle; or a recording contract, Jo; or another TV deal, Jade...
