Friday 9 March 2007

CASTAWAY

Friday 9 March 2007
BBC 1, Fridays, 9:00 pm

Remember Castaway? The 2000 reality TV series that ruined the millennium for a group of poor sods, who were shipped off to the remote Scottish island of Taransay? It pre-empted Big Brother by six months but got everything wrong: boring participants, unexotic location and the whole wretched event dragged on for a year! Remember? Well, even if you didn't, it's back for a very belated second series.

The BBC clearly feel the concept still has milage and so Castaway returns after seven years, with a number of differences. Firstly, the location is the exotic Great Barrier island, New Zealand; secondly, it lasts a reasonable 3 months and thirdly, the producers have chosen people who wouldn't look out of place on Lost... on paper, atleast...

Jason Ross, 37: reformed junkie from Kent.
A good place to go cold turkey; he should have done this ages ago!

Lucinda King, 27: sexy ex-convent girl who loves yoga.
I can just see the sun-kissed montages now!

Clare Hilley, 22: shy student.
Will she come out of herself, or crack under the pressure?

Hassan Kobeissi, 24: action-man gym fanatic.
Certain to play the Tarzan role! Who'll be his Jane?

Joe Chicken, 33: vegetarian entertainer.
Those long nights round the fire are gonna just fly by, I'm sure!

Alister Cooling, 24: obese sci-fi nerd.Just watch the weight fall off!
Like Hurley in Lost, obviously.

Erica Hurst, 22: lapdancer and extreme-sporter.
The lad's drunken beach entertainment is sorted!

Alasdair Humbleston, 19: dyslexic student and lothario.
Don't put him in charge of the driftwood SOS.

Francie Smee, 56: half-deaf divorcee and mum.
Hmmm, yeah, just who you need in a situation like this!

Jonathan Shearer, 41: Scottish eco-warrior.
Please can we cut down a tree for firewood?

Kenneth Rose, 65: knife-obsessed former Royal Marine.
Invaluable survivalist or macho idiot?

Wendie Mitchell, 42: ageing raver and mother of four.
Just who you need on a desert island, eh?

Gemma Zinyama, 22: narrow-minded Essex girl.
She sounds endearing, doesn't she?

Presented by documentary comedian Danny Wallace, the new series won't feature Big Brother-style weekly evictions, but the islanders will face challenges and dilemmas. The beach itself is enormous (60 football pitches), but the visual heaven hides some hellish realities. The facilities are minimal: limited water, shelter and food, no beds, electricity, plumbing, or running water and one basic toilet. The island is also home to various critters like rats, giant ants and wild pigs. Plenty to cause a stirr come bedtime.

Yes, I know -- it's just Shipwrecked in primetime. Reality series always rely on the personalities involved, so here's hoping the BBC casting couch was on top form, otherwise it could become I'm (Not) A Celebrity. Otherwise known as ITV flop Survivor. But look on the bright side, if things gets too boring the Beeb can always throw in a few polar bears and a mysterious hatch to open, right?