WRITERS: Robert Kurti & Bev Doyle DIRECTOR: Jamie Payne
CAST: Douglas Henshall (Prof Nick Cutter), Hannah Spearritt (Abby Maitland), James Murray (Stephen Hart), Andrew-Lee Potts (Connor Temple), Juliet Aubrey (Helen Cutter), Lucy Brown (Claudia Brown), Ben Miller (James Lester), Mark Wakeling (Capt Tom Ryan), Jake Curran (Tom) & James Bradshaw (Duncan)
Helen escapes from custody, just as a flock of dodo's appear through an anomaly infected with mind-controlling parasites..."Professor, we have a dodo down!" is a fine example of the utter cheesiness of Episode 4. At this stage, I'm not sure if the writers are intending Primeval to be knowingly dumb, or if it's just a show unable to deliver on its promise.
Primeval's concept is certainly silly, but the same could be said of most sci-fi series in truth, so is it too much to ask for some conviction and originality in the execution? Heaven knows even the most ludicrous of ideas be turned to gold by talented people.
Episode 4 is quick to reverse the one aspect of last week's episode that surprised me: the premature discover of Cutter's wife Helen. She's been lost in time for eight years and is here subjected to clichéd interrogation: cavernous, dark room, stone-faced guards holding rifles (is she THAT dangerous?) and a pointlessly glowing circular desk to sit at. It's all here to be sniggered at.
Anyway, Helen's bizarre return is brushed aside very quickly thanks to her unexplained (and implausible) way of predicting anomalies. So, before Cutter can yell his "Helen!" catchphrase, she's vanished through a freezer compartment in a football stadium. I sincerely hope the writers know what they're doing with this particular sub-plot, because so far it's lost on me and I can't muster any enthusiasm to work it out.
So where do the flightless extinct birds come into all this, I hear you ask? I think. Why, through the same freezer, of course! Several of the little dodo's provide workout for the true stars of Primeval –- the special FX boffins. Their appearance is fleeting (budget concern?) but they find time to regurgitate a parasite that later infects geeky Connor's geekier friend Tom (Jake Curran).
To be honest, Primeval could do with a human villain, as playing hunt-the-monster is getting old already. Sadly, Curran isn't up to the task, despite a noble effort. The script, by Robert Kurti and Bev Doyle, strains to make Tom a credible threat to anyone (unless ginger kids in hoodies gives you the creeps) and their plot rattles up a staggering amount of dumbness. Credibility eventually snaps once Tom's eyes glow and his voice makes Barry White sound like Barry Gibb.
It's all a mess. There's a small part of me that quietly rejoices at the sheer inanity of Primeval, though. Any show that finds a reason for Hannah Spearritt to walk around in her knickers (again) gets a certain amount of respect. God bless the fact her prehistoric pet lizard needs a tropical clime, eh lads?
The cheesiness is there for some chuckles, supported by decent special effects, but the rest is just a washout. It's particularly annoying when the soundtrack bursts into life with a current pop tune. I'm sure Kasabian would gladly hand back their royalty fee if they saw the dodo-capturing scene...
Overall, Episode 4 is probably the worst episode yet. The idea of a mind-controlling parasite is fun, but it has no place on this show. This was a fictional creature best suited to an episode of The X-Files, so Primeval needs to get its priorities straight.
Add to that some woeful lapses of logic (Abby fails to simply lock Tom in the freezer compartment he willingly stands in, with his back turned, for over ten seconds), frustrating oversights (a real-time MRI scan?) and naff dialogue ("what if they've created an attack dodo?") and you have a deeply annoying episode.
The only thing that raised a smile is that Channel 5 chose to counter Primeval with a showing of Godzilla -– and probably gave Saturday night viewers the better option.
