It's been one of my lifelong ambitions to visit the United States of America, primarily because of its huge standing in modern pop culture: the music, the big cities, westerns, Hollywood, the huge countryside, Disneyland, the extremes of weather and its curious balance between being a beacon of light in the world, yet always with a dark streak running through its veins.
Simply put: it's been my dream to explore the American Dream for myself. For a long, long time...
I finally got my chance this year when my Great Aunt invited me over to stay with her family in Ohio. It seemed the ideal opportunity to meet my extended American family and immerse myself in the culture. Oh yeah, and the inexpensiveness of staying with relatives certainly played a big part!
Having travelled to Manchester a few nights before by train, my plane took off from Manchester Airport at 11:45 on a typically wet and dreary British morning, bound for New York City, where I would get a connecting flight a few hours later to Columbus, Ohio.
Flying with Delta airlines proved quite memorable in itself, with the flight lasting 6 hours 30 minutes. I'd previously only ever travelled on a plane for 4 hours and had become irritable just a few hours in. I was fully prepared to be a jabbering wreck upon touchdown on American soil, I can tell you...
Fortunately, I think my brain must have pumped out enough endorphins to keep irritability at bay. It helped that the seats were far more comfortable than European flights I'd been on before. They even had complimentary pillows, blankets, blindfold and earphones – things I had to pay for through the nose for when I travelled to Zante last year!
I've always been a nervous flyer during take-off, forever imagining imminent disaster when you're pushed back into your seat as the pilot throttles those huge engines. Nightmarish scenes from Final Destination, Fight Club and Lost flashed through my mind until we're safely up above the clouds at 35,000 feet. It's at that point I resign myself to God, although the occasional drop in altitude keeps me on edge.
My nervousness wasn't helped by a group of orthodox Jewish teenagers, who made for quite unnerving fellow passengers. These days, I'm not alone in being a little suspicious of any religious groups aboard airplanes. I know it shouldn't be this way, but I can't help being vigilant and the Jewish guys in question acted very strangely throughout the flight.
Two Jewish guys in front of me, dressed in black suits, wide hats and strange blocks strapped to their arms and foreheads, were unable to understand the flight attendants. The amount of times they were told to sit down, fasten their seatbelts and return their food trays to their upright position was utterly ridiculous.
Other pairs of the Jewish gang were strewn throughout the plane, often getting out of their seats to randomly walk around and silently nod to each other. I just couldn't help getting increasingly suspicious of their ever move, particularly when they started muttering whilst reading prayer books.
The in-flight movies were a distraction from their odd behaviour. First up was something with Billy Bob Thornton I didn't recognise, but looked pretty boring until a rocket appeared towards the end (I've since learned it was called The Astronaut Farmer. 6/10 on IMDB, so I didn't miss much). The second movie shown was Wild Hogs, which I watched out of curiosity and boredom. I concur it's drivel of the worst kind.
I wasn't aware you get two meals on these trans-Atlantic flights. I had a chicken meal which I expected to be tasteless and rubbery, but it turned out to be unexpectedly delicious! Who makes these ready meals? Microwaved food never tastes like this from the supermarkets! The second meal was, very appropriately as we approached America, a pizza slice.
The hours had flown by (literally!) and I eagerly craned my head for a view of New York as it approached through the small windows. It was my first glimpse of America. My first impression was how much coast and greenery there seemed to be around the city. It's not unusual when you think about its location, obviously, but you still somehow don't expect it...
What you expect to see is skyscrapers and famous landmarks everywhere, but it actually looked like a typical sprawling city of unassuming houses and busy roads. The first truly American thing I saw, seconds before the plane screeched onto the runway, was a little yellow school bus trundling up a freeway. Oh yes. I'd arrived.
At this point, one of the Jews decided to get up and stride purposefully up the cabin toward the cockpit! You could see everyone's eyes fixated on him, expecting a ruckus of some description. Gulp. After a few moments, he thankfully returned to his seat and we landed. Afterwards, I overheard someone say the Jewish passengers had actually been visiting the four corners of the plane throughout the 6-hour journey to bless the aircraft. I'm not sure if this was true, or not, but I like to think so...
JFK International Airport, New York City. The mild euphoria of arriving in a different country would have to wait. I had luggage to collect and had yet to check-in to another flight, so my serious head had to keep my desire to grin from ear-to-ear in check. The NYC immigration staff did a far better job of wiping my smile away...
Obviously, in the city at the centre of the September 11th attacks, security was always going to be tight. I just had no idea how tight. On the plane, we'd already been required to fill in a green immigration form with personal details and a forwarding US address. Off the plane, all the passengers were led down a chilly and foreboding concrete tunnel, finally arriving at passport control. US passport holders were siphoned off to the left, leaving us "foreigners" to wait in line like asylum seekers.
So there we all stood, quietly shuffling along like cattle, jet-lagged and temporarily trapped between the emotions of excitement, fatigue and annoyance. It didn't help that a particularly stern African-American lady would constantly demand people "get behind the line" drawn on the floor, eyes scanning us for anyone about to jump through the kiosks or head-butt an official.
It was like being a prisoner waiting to be processed; not the start of a dream holiday!
After a lengthy wait in line (luckily us Brits are used to queuing for far longer in banks), it was finally my turn. I nervously approached another stern lady behind one of many desks assembled in a row like supermarket check-outs. I handed her my green card. Her cold eyes read it carefully, together with my passport, before she scanned both my index fingers, took my photo, stamped my passport and allowed me through. It was my first taste of biometric security! A small part of me doesn't like the idea of physical data being held on a US computer forever more, but another part argues it doesn't really matter. If it helps stop terrorism, who am I to complain? I have a clear conscience.
I'm sure you all know the drill when it comes to collecting luggage. A crowd gather around a conveyor belt, heads bobbing expectantly, eyes scanning cases, people eagerly snatching up suitcases, only to replace them with a groan. The usual...
What you don't expect is to be randomly questioned as you make your way out of the baggage collection area! A gruff middle-aged cop straight from The Sopranos asked me: "Are those your bags? Where have you flown in from? Do you know the combination to your lock?"
Finally, after negotiating my way through interminable queues, stern faces and random questions, a final glance of my passport by another swaggering city cop completed the process. I was through! America was my oyster for two weeks...
Airports are funny places, particularly foreign ones. They all look pretty much the same, but JFK was certainly busier than most and sprawled quite an area. All of a sudden you also find yourself in the national minority, with everyone around you yakking away in American accents. Was I the only foreigner in the airport today? It sure seemed like it!
After checking in my case (a quick process now I was on an internal flight), I found the correct gate to wait at for the Columbus plane in a few hours time and had a wander around the terminal's shops. I was in the domestic flights section of JFK, which essentially means nearly everyone there were Americans travelling between states. Consequently, the atmosphere was more like a busy train station than an airport.
I still find it amazing that you can be half-way across the world in such a relatively short space of time, too. I've always know America has existed, but it's somehow not really real until you've been there yourself. I can now testify, hand on heart, that the USA isn't an elaborate fantasy world you see only on television and in films. It's really there, just across the ocean.
A newsagent's gave me my first taste of the USA's low prices: $12.99 for a newly release DVD. The exchange rate (at time of writing) was neatly just a case of halving the dollar to find the pound sterling cost. So these discs were being sold for a measly £7! You'd have to wait for the inevitable price slash 6-12 months after a film's release here in the UK.
The Columbus plane finally arrived and I boarded, amazed to find the aircraft resembled a personal jet! There were only about fifty seats, two each side of an aisle, giving the journey a definite "flying bus" feel to it. By this time, stress and jet-lag was beginning to kick-in badly, not helped by the knowledge I was about to meet relative strangers (something requiring more energy than I had), plus a two hour car journey to their house in Ohio.
The flight was uneventful and boring, with me slipping into 10-minute naps every so often. Eventually, the plane touched down at Columbus Airport and I headed in to collect my cases.
Thankfully, domestic flights are far less hassle on passengers, so I passed through the arrivals area much faster. My Great Aunt Anne was there waiting for me (a tiny woman with a crinkly face), with her husband Denzyl (a bear-sized man with a goofy smile), and their son Jim (a teenaged kid in a middle-aged man's body).
This was it. I was in America and ready to explore the culture, people, opinions, prices, humour, media, countryside, food, animals and landmarks.
Coming Soon in part 2: wildlife and weather.
