TV mystery #1: why does The Film Programme take a break over the summer, when all the big blockbusters are released? That's like Match Of The Day taking a break for the World Cup!
TV mystery #2: why has said film programme, and all others like it, never clicked with mass audiences in the UK?
It's very peculiar when you think about it. Films have never been more popular, driven by DVD sales over the past 10 years, with people queuing up to spend £7 on a cinema ticket and re-mortgage their house for some pic n' mix. And I haven't even mentioned the thousands of people sat at home, taking advantage of internet rental services and movies being delivered straight through their digital TVs!
So why haven't we got a prime time film show on telly? Jonathan Ross is the only notable face, hosting the Beeb's long-running Film Programme (1972-present), having taken over from Barry Norman in 1999. But the show has never been a ratings winner, as it's usually tucked away after 11 pm on weekdays -- to be enjoyed by night owls, insomniacs, the unemployed and students.
Film 2007 isn't a bad show, either. The standard of guests is high, there's a nice balance between mainstream, independent, cult and world cinema, and Ross himself is a passionate cinephile -- albeit one whose reviews sound stilted and mindful of conflicts of interest. After all, is Ross really going to slate a film, then schmooze its star on his chat show? No. I'm really looking forward to his review of Stardust, co-written by his wife Jane Goldman. It was trashed in the U.S... but I'm betting he loves it!
Maybe schedulers just think film shows don't work in the UK. Can you name any decent alternatives to Film 2007? Sure, Talking Movies on BBC News isn't too shabby, but it's a bit highbrow for the mainstream, never advertised, and inconsistently scheduled. The film reviews on Newsnight Review are similarly worthy and near-impossible to stumble upon without succumbing to Germaine Greer prattling on about something inconsequential.
Over on ITV, they just seem content to fill 10-minute gaps in the schedule with wry narrations of film clips, whilst occasionally giving big studio releases a hefty plug with specials from Leicester Square premieres. Usually presented by Jenny Falconer or Lisa Snowden; depending on GMTV and George Clooney commitments, respectively.
Poor ITV. I know they have a mix of showbiz stuff in the mornings on GMTV, but whatever happened to the likes of Mariella Frostrup's The Little Picture Show? Or Movies, Games & Videos? That was a a decent roundup of entertainment for teens, with plenty of pace thanks to its constant clips and interview, with D.J-style narration from Steve Priestley. Ahhh, memories...
Channel 4 have zilch in the way of film shows now. Well, unless you include Richard & Judy's film club slot, sprinkled throughout the year. This is where a bunch of viewers with an average age of 47 wander down to their local cinema and review one film suitable for a tea-time slot (rarely anything above a 12-certificate.)
You have to go back in time a whole decade to find Channel 4's most notable film show: Moviewatch (1993-97), presented by a pre-Big Breakfast Johnny Vaughn, which reviewed the week's releases with film buffs holding up rubber numbers.
Five tried their hand quite recently with Movie Lounge, presented by Giles Coren, without much success -- although it was entertaining. They even had him front some film chart shows, although quite why they consider a food critic a reputable authority on film still baffles me!
Going back a few years, Sky poached Barry Norman from the BBC when he left The Film Programme, to front their own film series. But they overestimated Norman's "fanbase", with the crabby-faced grump failing to attract the youthful Sky Movies crowd.
Sky tried again by securing the aide of Ain't It Cool News creator Harry Knowles (pixellated so he wouldn't scare kids), who gave a quick roundup of movie gossip. But the ginger geek's enthusiasm doesn't translate in person, with Harry coming across as a fanboy reading his own website like an autocue!
Maybe the mainstream failure of film shows is because they offer nothing you can't get faster and easier elsewhere. If you want reviews and news... read a magazine or a website. If you're desperate to hear a celeb fawn plug their latest effort... watch a chat show or hit the newsagent.
The only thing film shows can offer is a human touch. If you genuinely respect and trust Jonathan Ross' opinion, you'll make an effort to catch Film 2007, whatever time it's one. If you don't care what Ross has to say, well... he might play trailers you were too lazy to download.
Mind you, now podcasts offer personal touches while you're sat on the bus or jogging through a park, with Mark Kermode's podcasted reviews from Radio Five Live proving popular online. Also on radio, Edith Bowman's Radio 1 show has an hour of movie chat, weekdays at 2:30 pm. James King also drops in to natter about new releases every Friday. Or there's The Film Programme on Radio 4 every Friday at 4.30 pm.
Oh, but if you don't trust the opinions of people whose waged are paid by big corporations, there are tonnes of independent film podcasts on the internet to guarantee some straight-talk; such as Scene Unseen Movie Reviews and... well, far too many to list here.
But the fact remains, I think UK TV would benefit from overhauling Film 2007 and sticking it on between 7.30 and 8.30 on a Thursday or Friday. Or if not, I hope a brand new film show takes the best of what the internet, magazines and podcasts offer us now, but bring it together into one delicious, multimedia whole...
... until then, it's Wossy with a mug of coffee at midnight, eh?
