While I'm not a huge Britney Spears fan (having never purchased a single, album, or attended a concert), like millions of red-blooded men, I've downloaded more photos of her than is healthy, watched her music videos a little too closely, and maintained an interest as the poor girl flushed her career down the toilet in the glare of the tabloids.
Her "comeback" at the MTV Video Music Awards 2007 -- following months of divorce, knicker-less boozing with Lindsay Lohan, and head-shaving insanity -- was always going to be big news. It was a chance for Britney to clean herself up and bring back the pop princess sass she'd charmed the world with since the days of Hit Me Baby One More Time.
Sadly, it just wasn't to be...
Wearing bra and panties, surrounded by dancers who were twice as energetic, Britney gave a lip-synced performance that ranks as her worst ever. I never expect live singing, as studio-standard vocals and blood-pumping dance moves don't go hand-in-hand, but I do expect a decent level of rehearsal!
There was a palpable monotony to everything. The song, Gimme More, isn't brilliant, but it's reasonable enough. The opening lyric "it's Britney, bitch" was very indicative of her attitude now. She probably thinks she's appealing to a more adult audience with stuff like that, but you can develop and grow as a performer without antagonism. The kids who loved her as a teenager will love her as a fortysomething if she stays true to her own spirit.
Physically, Britney is in pretty good shape, but she's nowhere near as lithe as she once was, and is definitely carrying a few extra pounds. It's most noticeable if you compare VMA 2007 with VMA 2001 (stockier and heavier round the face these days.)
Throughout the performance, she stumbled slightly, lost her footing a few times, had to be helped onto a platform by a dancer and sometimes looked like a rabbit caught in some headlights. Some of her "sexy moves" were mechanically delivered (like someone half-remembering a past life), while the overall energy levels were low and everything lacked verve and punch. Basically: a very pale shadow of her former self.
So it begs the question: why does she want to comeback anyway? Money? Surely not. The attention? Perhaps, although she gets that through her personal life easily enough.
Whatever the reason, she should concentrate on her mental stability, straighten her life out with her kids, knock the booze on the head and start exercising. The world will be just as eager for a Britney comeback in, say, 2009.
Britney will always have a sizeable fan-base and a place in pop history to re-launch herself from -- in the same way Michael Jackson "comebacks" still gets tongues wagging down the pub, despite the fact he relaunches himself every 5 years or so.
VMA 2007 was just too soon for Britney and releasing a new album seems like bad idea now. If it doesn't sell, on the back of lackluster live performances like this one, making a "second comeback" in later life will be twice as hard. She should have taken time to get this comeback perfect -- but she clearly hasn't been bothered. It was almost an ignorant performance, as if she thought just being there half-naked would be enough.
Under-rehearsed, limp, unsexy, faltering, mimed and slothful. Britney Spears doesn't need a comeback, she needs counselling.
