Needless to say, there are MAJOR spoilers below for anyone who hasn't seen to the end of season/volume 2. This means all (legal) UK viewers. You have been warned...
"Good afternoon. Most of you have no idea who I am. My name is Nathan Petrelli, and I was elected to Congress in the State of New York. Seems like a long time ago. I lost my position. I lost my brother. I lost my family. I'm sad to say that I lost my way.""But while I was gone, I had the chance to see the world through newly-humbled eyes. Witnessed amazing things. I've seen ordinary people among us, trying their best each day to be heroes. These ordinary people... like you, like me, are capable of extraordinary things. You have no idea... how extraordinary. But there are other people, organizations, who don't want you to know the truth."
"I, myself, kept secrets. But last year... something incredible happened to me. And it changed my life. At first, I was afraid. But I'm... I'm not afraid anymore. I'm here to tell you the truth. I have the ability to fly."
(pause for the inevitable snickering)
"I know how ridiculous that must sound to some of you... but I promise you it's the truth. Just ask my brother, Peter. He can fly, too. In fact, he can do many incredible things... like walk through solid walls. But, um... not vaults containing deadly viruses, for some reason. He can also paint the future when his eyes go white, move things with his mind, create dangerous levels of radiation inside his body, and shoot electricity from the palm of his hand. Oh, and turn invisible. Amongst others."
"Then there's Officer Parkman here, of the NYPD. He can read minds, and knows what you're all thinking. But I don't need him to tell me what you're thinking. I can see it in your eyes. You're thinking: "what a nut." Well, you can think what you want, because in a second Parkman is going to use his powers to control all your minds and make you believe everything I'm saying."
"But none of this means we're dangerous. No, we're the good guys. I'm only here to tell you about the realities of the world you're living in. People like us are the next step in evolution, according to Dr Mohinder Suresh, son of Chandra Suresh. Okay, both those names mean nothing to you -- but these Indian fellas know what they're talking about, trust me. One wrote a book. A big thick one... with very few pictures."
"But, saying we're the next step in human evolution doesn't mean we're better than you, okay? Well, okay, it does -- but it's not like we're going to keep mentioning it and perhaps enslave you. We're normal people, just like you. Well, not "normal", obviously. Abnormal. No, that sounds bad. What's the next thing up from normal? Pro-normal? Super-normal. Uhhh, look -- we're just superior and have cool magic powers... so we can help mankind."
"However, there are people out there who don't want to heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me, and the entire human race.... people who want only chaos and power. People like Sylar; a dangerous watchmaker who eats brains and tried to blow-up New York a few months ago."
(possibly more snickering at this point)
"Okay, I admit -- it turned out that Peter was the one who nearly blew up the city. But my kid brother didn't do it on purpose. Remember that big explosion over Kirby Plaza on the news? That was Pete going nuclear, causing very little fallout. I saved the city, but got my faced burned off and he lost his memory."
"I'm not entirely really sure how this all fits together right now, but he basically fixed me with the magic blood of an immortal English guy and then tried to wipe out 93% of the world's population by releasing a doomsday virus."
"But, it's not as bad as that sounds! He was confused. He woke up half-naked in Ireland. We've all been there, so don’t judge. Anyway, after recklessly threatening the lives of billions by trusting a man he'd only known a few days, I managed to talk him round. I don't know what he'd do without me! You guys certainly wouldn't be here! Ahem."
"Our kind have brought the world to the brink of apocalypse twice in the past 4 months, but uh... don't quote that bit out of context. We also saved you twice. Honestly, we're not dangerous. I can't stress that enough."
"It's the Company you should be worried about. They're the older generation of "superheroes", or whatever you want to call them. Specials? X-Men? It's your call. These guys are our parents, and they're the real threat to your safety. One guy called Bob can even turn stuff into gold, so... imagine the anarchy he could cause. The other ones... umm, well... I'm not sure what they can all do. They keep their cards close to their chests. Oh, there was an old man called Mr Linderman who could heal people and made my crippled wife Heidi walk again... and he... well, I know that sounds like he was a modern-day Jesus, but he wasn't. His cooking was terrible, too."
"There's also this memory-wiping Haitian dude and a guy with horn-rimmed glasses. Well, I think he's a bad guy. It depends on the circumstances, really. But, oh yeah, Parkman's dad can trap you in a waking nightmare, so that's pretty terrible. He put Parkman's daughter in a coma, too. Actually, that's Parkman's adopted daughter with Dr Suresh, who I mentioned earlier. But they're not gay."
"Fortunately, the bad guys are in the minority. Most of us have really helpful powers. My daughter can heal herself of any injury... there's this stripper I banged who has a psychotic alter-ego... okay, bad example... um, how about a chubby little Japanese guy who can freeze time? He's not a danger!"
"Actually, come to think of it, if he freezes time and dies, that could be a problem. I don't know if time resumes once he's dead, or if the universe will be left frozen forever. It'll probably be fine... yeah, I'm sure we'll be okay... just don't think about it too much..."
"So, ladies and gentlemen: those touched by God walk amongst you. And most of us are here to help. I can take kids to school on my back to ease traffic congestion downtown. Stuff like that. So don't cut us up and experiment on us. Or ostracized us... just because we're better than you cavemen. Thank you for coming. Any questions?"
"Parkman – can you make them stop throwing chairs, please?"
