Aren't you excited? Captain Jack is back! It's exciting because it rhymes! Those red hexagons that form the letter "T" on your television sometimes? That stands for Torchwood!
Oh, alright then: it's a Doctor Who spin-off. There. You'll watch it now. Especially if you like Welsh accents, same-sex kissing, the odd splash of blood, scenes of breathy shagging, and inappropriate swearing. Well, that's what we got last time, anyway. It may have changed for season 2. I have my fingers crossed it has.
Reasons to be excited?
1. The vague hope someone on Torchwood actually listened to the well-reasoned criticism, and didn't just bury their head in the sand mumbling about big ratings. Oh, and someone who understands that simply being on the Radio Times' front-page isn't success.
2. The arrival of Freema Agyeman as Martha Jones, from Doctor Who. She won't be around for long, but she'll be there. Who's loss is Torchwood's gain!
Okay, I'm struggling for more...
Basically, season 1 was a mess, but I'm hoping there's been a clear-up. I'm sure it'll have fairly decent special effects, a winsome performance from Eva Myles, a charismatic performance from John Barrowman, and some fun nods to Doctor Who... but I want more. I want sparkling dialogue, clever ideas, unpredictable plots, a sense of scope, real ambition...
I want "adult science fiction" to mean relationships more complex than The Doctor sniffing about Rose's departure... and ideas that stretch the mind a bit. It should be a regular diet of stories as complex as Blink, but free of any need to mollycoddle kids.
Remember The X-Files? Yeah, it should have that ambition, but with the tongue-in-cheek humour of Doctor Who.
We'll find out if it delivers on 16 January @ 9.00 pm, BBC2.
