I really don't understand the thinking behind this new comedy gameshow on Channel 4. Presented by Alan Carr, a talented stand-up most famous for co-presenting the Friday Night Project alongside Justin Lee Collins, Celebrity Ding Dong was quite a cataclysm of taste and entertainment...
Carr is an immediate cult figure; a gay comedian with a voice perfectly suited to Carry On-style double entendres, tombstone teeth, and wonky glasses. He's Ken Dodd meets Kenneth Williams, with some Larry Grayson thrown in. He can amuse and irritate with equal skill, but it's clear this gameshow format just isn't suited to him...
Ding Dong (named after Leslie Phillips' catchphrase, who also provides the show's voice-over) pits two teams against each other: celebrities and "civilians" (as Liz Hurley, not very famously, termed ordinary people). The celebs in this first episode were comprised of Radio 1 DJ Chris Moyles (everywhere on TV just recently), pretty boy Duncan James (formerly of boy-band Blue), Tara Palmer-Tomkinson (posh "It Girl" waste of skin), former Radio 1 DJ Zoë Ball, and grinning singer Jamelia.
The civilians? Oh, who cares. Even the end credits didn't even bother to list their names! They were a well-meaning bunch from Scotland, there to be the butt of everyone's jokes. Unfortunately, seeing as "civilians" make up 99% of the audience watching this show, it quickly became very annoying to see them mocked.
I can't quite fathom why Alan Carr, who's main strength is his people skills (having been a stand-up for many years), decided it would be a great idea to present a show where he has to be mean to people! It was supposed to be good-natured ribbing, I know -- but it was too frosty for my liking.
With the show unwilling to treat its civilian contestants with any respect (immediately ridiculing their accent, then sneering at their general lifestyle), Ding Dong instead focused on the celebs, who were all unable to inject any spark into proceedings...
Chris Moyles, as team captain, tried hardest with a string of predictable gags, while Tara did her patented "irritating, mad toff" routine. Duncan commented a fair bit throughout, but Zoë Ball and Jamelia would have been better off staying at home! I suspect they only booked Zoë because she could put in a good word to hubbie Fatboy Slim about letting them use "Weapon Of Choice" as their theme tune…
The actual "games" were pretty drab, too: comparing celebrity and civilian lifestyles, trying to determine which D-list celeb an ugly Playboy model had slept with (answer: Donnie Tourette!), a Child's Play rip-off (having to guess which celebrity some little kids were describing), a "cry-off" to win an "Oscarr" award (which resembled a BAFTA...), etc. Ho-ho.
A tragic waste of time and energy in every respect. The celebs came across as name-dropping idiots, the "civilians" just had audience sympathy for the patronizing way they were treated, the games were all utterly bland, Alan Carr wasn't an assured presence as "master of ceremonies" (who, by virtue of his own fame, tended to side with the celebs and shun the civilians), and the whole thing was painfully stretched to a bloated 50-minutes!
Celebrity Ding Dong looked thrown together from a basic premise, but it was mostly undermined by forcing Alan Carr to mock the public he's use to endearing himself with, and by extension the audience watching at home...
Alan Carr: a celebrity done dung.
1 February 2008
Channel 4, 10.00 pm
