I have never, ever seen an episode of Sex & The City. This is because I have a penis. And I'm not gay. But my media habits seem to have put me in the wrong marketing bracket, because hasn't SATC had more publicity than Indiana Jones and Iron Man put together? One of its quartet of stars is on every chat show going: Paul O'Grady, Graham Norton, etc. There are interviews with them on radio every day. They even held the world premiere in London. I'm pretty sure there are subliminal flashes of Kim Cattrall in-between adverts, too. There's just no escaping it. They're targeting me. Maybe they think I'll crack and watch it, then become obsessed and buy the TV box-set? But I can tell you now: that will never, ever happen...
I know it's wrong to slate a TV show you've never actually seen. So maybe it's as brilliant and cutting edge as the actresses seem to think. They can't be biased, can they? From what little I've seen (a few minutes here and there, some trailers, lots of TV ads) it seemed to be another tiresomely vacuous and materialistic show – where woman value objects over everything except handsome men, spend their days buying shoes, and discuss sex with quirky frankness. But I just find it a bit sad to see women in their forties and fifties pretending they're in their thirties, and often dressing like they're in their twenties.
I liked Kim Cattrall in her pre-SATC movie days, and she's a fun interviewee, but her character's voice irritates me and the man-eating potty-mouthed type isn't one I go for. Sarah Jessica Parker gets cruelly picked on for having a horse-shaped face and body of a transvestite skeleton, but I actually quite like her. At least she has flaws, and she's married to Ferris Bueller. But like Cattrall, SATC may have given her huge fame, success and money, but she was more intriguing in the 90s as a rising star. The other two? I have no opinion. If Cattrall and SJP are the Teri Hatcher and Eva Longoria of SATC, the other two are twin Nicolette Sheridans to me.
But, no. I haven't really watched it enough to give an informed opinion – this is just gut reactions to what little I've been exposed to. I actually remember when SATC first started airing on UK TV and most reviews were very negative. But it found an audience. It's a big success. Hey, it has a movie coming out years after it "finished" on TV, so it must have something going for it. People must like those characters.
It just worries me how they're treated as role models, as I don't know a single bloke who likes any of the SATC women. So please don't be like them, girls. Be like Gabrielle in Desperate Housewives, or something. Even if I was offered the chance to sleep with Kim Cattrall, I'd agree but spend the night squinting and thinking of that scene in Porkies. Or Big Trouble In Little China. Not the bit when that guy explodes. That'll be me, later.
Come on, this had to end on a sex joke.
