"I feel like I've gotten to know Sir Alan. I've had hisfinger waved in my face, and I've had him screaming
in my face. I think losing is character building."
-- Claire Young
It's the final countdown for the final five. Those dreaded interviews with Sir Alan's closest friends and business minds mark the penultimate episode. This is always the most stomach-churning "challenge", for the interviewees and everyone watching at home. Not many people have experience of selling supercars, ice cream and haggling for bargains in Marrakesh, but everyone knows the palm-sweating horror of a tough job interview... gulp...
Property tycoon Paul Kelmsley is back to test the candidate's strength of character, Viglen computers exec Bordan Tkachuck and Claude Littner return to grill the hopefuls, and Birmingham FC Managing Director Karren Brady joins the line-up to test their personal strengths.
Alex, Claire, Helene, Lee and Lucinda all realize how close they are to winning the £100,000 per annum job with Sir Alan Sugar, and nerves hit record levels as the day-long series of interviews get underway. Lucinda, despite being the most successful candidate (in terms of team wins), almost immediately finds herself struggling to persuade the interviewers she isn't a wishy-washy waste of time...
Lee has never been taken into the boardroom, but comes unstuck almost immediately by agreeing to perform a "reverse pterodactyl" impression for Paul Kelmsley – who rather hoped he'd politely refuse. The whole nation cringes with embarrassment for poor Lee, but it was quite an underhanded trick by Mr. Kelmsley, if you ask me. Quite why Lee decided to mention his squawking pterodactyl impression on his CV is just beyond me, though! Do people do that? I've never once put "does a passable impression of Frank Spencer, Prince Charles and Chris Eubank" under Hobbies & Interests. Only the likes of Jon Culshaw and Rory Bremner should bother doing so. See, you learn stuff on this show, kids.
Alex and Helene have been on the losing team several times, but have managed to survive. Alex can't start a sentence without referring to his "young age" of 24, seemingly using it as a crutch and excuse for everything an interviewer can throw at him. Helene is the only candidate with intriguing substance, with a tough upbringing and "rags to riches" life-history.
Claire relishes the experience, as it means she can jabber on incessantly, and her time in the boardroom holds her in good stead from the onslaught of tough questions. Even snarky comments about her time as a club rep don't faze her, as she retaliates by elaborating: "I was eighteen, nineteen, twenty. I liked boys, I liked drink, I liked music but there is nothing that if my grandma picked up the paper I'd be particularly embarrassed about."
Bordan quickly discovers a worrying lie in Lee's misspelled CV, where he claimed he went to college for 2 years – even though he actually dropped out after 4 months. Red-faced, Lee is forced to offer a grovelling apology about this lapse in judgement when trying to strengthen his resume.
Alex's constant reminders that he's "just 24" fall on deaf ears with Karren, who reveals she was running Birmingham City FC at the age of 23. Paul is also unimpressed by Alex, 24, and his softly spoken demeanour, commenting: "I don't even think you could light a candle let alone light up a room."
Helene's brash northerner shtick takes a backseat as the story of her alcoholic parents comes to light, although her candid admission she's "not used to being surrounded by fifteen gobshites" wasn't the most tactful way to describe the others.
Lucinda takes the interviewers disparaging remarks about her contractual work to heart, wondering why she ever thought a permanent job earning less money would be a good career move. Unfortunately, she makes the mistake of admitting she's having second thoughts to the others, saying "do I want to be a permanent employee? I'd be climbing the walls and driving you all mad." The other candidates immediately start bitching about Lucinda's attitude behind her back.
After the interviews are done, Sir Alan hears back from his four comrades, and the final five candidates are called back into the boardroom. Sir Alan is very disappointed Lee lied on his CV (can he trust him now?); Helene still hasn't done anything that stood out during the previous tasks; Alex, 24, seems a bit bland and shapeless; Claire's position is relatively safe, thanks to her confident interviews and successes in the tasks; but it's Lucinda who becomes the next candidate to be fired. Sir Alan just can’t envisage someone like her fitting into his company, and thanks to the generally unimpressed feedback from his employees, Lucinda leaves for home.
In a late twist, Sir Alan revealed he's not prepared to fire another two people, meaning the remaining four contestants will all participate in next week's grand final. They'll be split into 2 teams of 2 – helped, as usual, by past candidates. This actually makes a lot of sense for the show, as previous finals have all been a bit superfluous. It was always clear Sir Alan never just fired the loser of the last task – he, quite rightly, made his final decision based on peoples' overall progress over the 12 weeks. But now, with the team idea, there's actually a genuine need to ensure you win the twelfth task. And sniping between the pair of winners should provide additional sting to the last boardroom debrief.
Next week, Sir Alan gets his apprentice, but who's my tip for the top job? Well, I don't think Helene stands a chance. If she's on the winning team next week, her team-mate will win. Alex is in with a chance, but I think Sir Alan's had his fill of the affable nice-guy candidates – he probably wants someone with more vigour to them. So, Lee's a good bet. He's as raw as Alex but has some punch to him.
But, in my opinion, Claire should win this series – provided her team don’t get fired next week. It would be very unfair if Claire lost out because she was lumbered with a bad team-mate! I'm guessing there'll be a male-female split in the teams, so I'm hoping a Claire/Lee partnership wins through... and Sir Alan picks Claire. Who agrees?
4 June 2008
BBC1, 9.00 pm
