BONEKICKERS 1.4 - "The Cradle Of Civilisation"

Writer: Matthew Graham
Director: James Strong

Cast: Julie Graham (Prof. Gillian Magwilde), Adrian Lester (Dr. Ben Ergha), Gugu Mbatha-Raw (Viv Davis), Hugh Bonneville (Professor Gregory Parton), Michael Maloney (Daniel Mastiff), Silas Carson (Kahmil Hammadi), Frances Tomelty (Karen Magwilde), David Ryall (Max Garris), Nina Sosanya (Rachel), Darrell D'Silva (Amwar), Matt Rippy (Jimmy Paul), Vicky Hall (Nurse Strong), Telka Donyai (Khanna), Gemma Baker (Sally), Sherif Eltayeb (Ali) & Justin Allder (Aide)

An Iraqi archaeologist arrives in Bath with a cultural delegation to reclaim a Babylonian relic looted during the Iraq war...

You can't say it's not imaginative and it (generally) fills each episode with enough incidents to keep you mindlessly attuned. It's just that Bonekickers sits squarely in the realm of preposterous nonsense, and there isn't really enough excitement to have you overlook how it strains to keep the ball rolling...

"The Cradle Of Civilisation" concerns an ancient Babylonian relic discovered by an archaeologist during the Iraq War, who smuggles it back to Britain to sell to a private collector. The vase-like relic is covered in writing, which Iraqi politician Silas Carson (Kahmil Hammadi) believes is an ancient prophecy describing who will reunite Iraq and restore the country to its former glory. Throw in a snake (that can "see", but needs 3-D specs), a band of killer occultists, and a chess-playing child genius, and you have a typically bloated and curiously inert adventure mystery...

I've actually been impressed with the creativity in Bonekickers' storylines. It's just a shame these kernels of good ideas are fleshed-out into hackneyed plotting and laughable dialogue. The Da Vinci Code and Indiana Jones are similarly implausible at heart, but they have a commitment and nose for entertainment that overrides an audience's common sense. Indy once met a 2,000 year-old Templar Knight, but we accepted it because it fitted with the established comic-book, '40s movie serial tone. You can't really make the same jump with a contemporary BBC drama. It makes me wonder if Bonekickers might have been improved by setting it in a Golden Age of archaeological discovery, like the 1920s.

Another big problem has been the characters; none of whom are satisfying creations. Hugh Bonneville is the best performer, because he's playing it as a goofy caricature with the fun that entails. Sadly, he's wasted in this episode. Julie Graham grows in confidence every week, but I have a tough time liking Gillian Magwilde because... well, she's essentially an irritating, grouchy know-all.

Like "The Eternal Fire", this episode again involves a sub-plot based around Gillian's love-life (she dated debonair Silas after being dumped by Ben in '92), but it's a development that's as interesting as it sounds. Not very. And I pity poor Michael Maloney -- stuck in the thankless comic-relief role as egotistical curator Daniel Mastiff.

The sword-based mystery underlying the series is moving out of the shadows, which was nice to see -- although it's consequently obvious Gillian and her nutty mother (Frances Tomelty) are after Excalibur. Wisely, writer Matthew Graham thus stirs another mystery into the ongoing narrative, as Silas alludes to Viv (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) being more than she seems. I just wish I had more faith that it's all leading to something revelatory and exciting.

Overall, "The Cradle Of Civilisation" is another confection of sporadic intrigue and irritating dumbness. Of all the episodes, this one lacks a mystery worth investigating (despite its designed "relevance" to contemporary Middle Eastern issues) and loses its thread once nasty occultists and a killer snake begin to soak up the story.


29 July 2008
BBC1, 9.00 pm