I don't begrudge Charlotte Church her fame and fortune. She earned it, thanks to the bewildering global appeal of kids singing classical music. I'd rather see her famous than some reality TV star hawking perfume, books and a trite pop song. Emerging from her teen hedonism of recent years, Charlotte's now a baby-making machine for other half Gavin Henson -- the Welsh pretty-boy rugby star who, "coincidentally", lost form when Ms. Church came calling...
A half-decent attempt to segue into pop music seems to have been forgotten about, but Charlotte's bills need paying, and her fame needs careful cultivation -- so the Welsh warbler returned to her oddly-popular Channel 4 entertainment series last night...
The Charlotte Church Show has been bumped from post-pub Fridays to Thursdays -- thanks to Big Brother eviction nights, just ask The Sunday Night Project. Little has changed: Charlotte's still thinks she's hilarious (and not merely a literate reader of weak gags from an autocue), she's heavily pregnant again, and remains incredibly self-absorbed.
And, is it just me, or is Charlotte Church yesterday's news? Her crown of female hedonism has been stolen by genuine caners like Amy Winehouse, the whole singer-turned-entertainer thing ran its course with Lily Allen's copycat BBC Three show, and does anyone still view Church as a role model? And no, being a loving mother with curves doesn't automatically give you role-model status. She's relatively normal, I'll give her that. If little girls want to model themselves on Charlotte Church instead of Kate Moss -- so be it.
But I just can't warm to The Charlotte Church Show. Singers should stick to singing and not encroach on other peoples' territory. There are talented people out there (many training to be TV presenters), whose jobs are being stolen by actors/singers wanting to extend their profile.
Everything also smacks of a vanity project. Charlotte's unable to go more than a few sentences without dragging a conversation back round to herself -- regaling us with well-trodden memories of singing for The Pope, blah blah...
And have you noticed how most entertainment series don't involve their studio audiences properly these days? Ant & Dec and Graham Norton are the only people who realize their paid to entertain the audience. Charlotte seems to think she has a crowd of acolytes watching, all just happy to be there. Too often the audience are left to react as naturally as they can to Charlotte's anecdotes, clunky joke-telling, and witless interviews. At best, they get picked on for public ridicule...
Pity the poor, deluded, sharp-faced woman who had her unhealthy love of Hollyoaks exposed last night. She got to meet her pin-up, actor Chris Fountain. The catch? A photo of her drinking alcohol from a condom was shown on TV, and everyone now knows she calls her shit "King Kong's Finger". Oh well. She seemed happy enough at the humiliation. She was on the telly! Yay! With Chris Fountain and Charlotte Church! Yayyy!
There are worse people in the world than Charlotte Church, who at least keeps herself down-to-earth and free of any diva-ism. There are worse candidates to host a late-show entertainment show, too. I just think audiences deserve genuine entertainers -- not have-a-go singers trading on their common-touch appeal.
10 July 2008
Channel 4, 10.00 pm
