Strictly Come Dancing 6 – Meet The Dancers

Last year I got sucked into Strictly Come Dancing, by focusing on the one thing all heterosexual man should be tuning in for: the sexy ladies. It's that simple. While it's camper than a field of pink tents and the best two celeb dancers become obvious by Week 6 (meaning half the show is spent waiting for the obvious semi-final decider), you basically get to see the likes of Lilia Kopylova and Flavia Cacace wiggle their hips. And I'm sure girls are just as excited about the men, like... erm, slimy Kiwi foot-shuffler Brendan Cole.

The sixth series is about to begin, so the BBC have revealed who's taking part. As usual, I'm going to focus on the ladies here. It's not sexist, it's just a bit of fun. Straight men can enjoy SCD too, y'know...

The Celebrities

Christine Bleakley, 27

Oh yes, Northern Ireland's lovely Christine; co-host of The One Show. So she was obviously talked into it by last year's contestant and One Show contributor Dominic Littlewood. Big smile, cute overbite, good sense of humour, down-to-earth, slim figure and long legs. I'd be surprised if she can dance spectacularly well, but I'll predict she gets at least half-way through. Dance partner: Matthew Cutler.

Jodie Kidd, 29

Former model, now trying to extend her fame by appearing on panel shows and suchlike. It's no wonder she's signed up for SCD, then. She has a competitive streak and tomboyish nature (did you see her wiz around Top Gear's track?), so I think she'll definitely have the poise, stamina and drive to succeed on the show. Of course, she might be a gangly uncoordinated mess – but I'd be surprised if she didn't get 5 weeks into the competition at the very least. Looks-wise; a statuesque 6 ft 1, blonde, very long legs. This years Penny Lancaster, minus the tears. Dance partner: Ian Waite.

Cherie Lunghi, 56

I've never heard of her. Apparently she was in Casualty 1906 and played a matron. She's this year's Stephanie Beachem, really -- so don't expect much. Let's not go into her looks, as it's a little unsavoury – she's older than my mum! Dance partner: James Jordan.

Heather Small, 43

Tall singer who found fame with M People. Great voice, big hair, not a bad body, but a bit too "manly" and scary-looking for my taste. She might be a good dancer, but I suspect not. Dance partner: Brian Fortuna.

Lisa Snowdon, 36

One-time supermodel and TV personality, most famous for being the on/off girlfriend of George Clooney. Lovely smile, curvy figure, great legs, big bosom (34D guys), and 5 ft 11 in height. Needless to say, she's been partnered with womanizer Brendan Cole, so she's clearly intended to be this year's Kelly Brook. Another possible winner, then? At 36, she's older than she looks, too. Dance partner: Brendan Cole.

Rachel Stevens, 30

Former S Club 7 member whose solo career didn't quite take-off as she'd hoped – which was a shame, because I always thought she was a good, clean-cut role model for teenagers. Given her background, I would assume she's used to dance choreography, so she stands a good chance at succeeding. Beautiful features, petite, curvy figure – so definitely the sex kitten of the celebs. Dance partner: Vincent Simone.

Gillian Taylforth, 53

Ex-EastEnder who quit the soap years ago but never truly emerged from its shadow. Back in the '80s, she was quite attractive in a common-as-muck, husky-voiced way. A step too far into the middle-aged, embarrassing mum stage of her life for me, but she'll have fun on the show. Dance partner: Anton du Beke (i.e, not expected to win).

Jessie Wallace, 36

Another ex-EastEnder like Gillian, but much more recent. As Kat Slater, Jessie was dirtily-alluring trotting around Albert Square in her high-heels and leopard print tops. I wouldn't say she's unattractive, but she's definitely someone who needs to throw on the slap to look her best. I'm guessing she'll be wild, crazy fun, and a good laugh. She might blossom like fellow EastEnder Leticia Dean did last year. Dance partner: Darren Bennett.

The Dancers

Ola Jordan, 26

The petite Polish dancer with the tight, firm body, golden hair and beaming smile is back. This time she's dancing with GMTV's Andrew Castle, who will hopefully keep her in the competition as long as Kenny Logan did last year.

Camilla Dallerup, 34

The ever-so-slightly crazy Danish dancer, with the willowy good-looks, long blonde hair, and fierce determination, has been partnered with Tom Chambers from Holby City. Who?

Flavia Cacace, 28

The Cleopatra lookalike with "abs of steel", who whisked Matt DiAngelo to the final last year, gets lumbered with ex-EastEnder Phil Daniels. That's what happens when you do well the previous year, see? Oh well, hopefully Flavia will show us some hot flavours for a few weeks at least.

Hayley Holt, 27

A newcomer to the show, having starred in the New Zealand version of SCD (Dancing With The Stars). From the looks of her photo, she should be hot stuff. Blonde, slim, flat stomach, long legs – classic. She'll be dancing with swimmer Mark Foster, so I'd assume she'll do well because he's an athlete.

Erin Boag, 33

I'm not a fan of Erin, sorry. She's only 33, but looks 44. She's dancing with Austin Healey, a rugby player, so she'll likely be around for awhile this year.

Karen Hardy, 38

You can't beat Karen's determination and competitive streak. She might be pushing 40, but she's still great to look at, too – even if she occasionally freaks me out. She has Gary Rhodes to contend with, so I'm hoping he keeps her in the show longer than last year.

Kristina Rihanoff

Another newcomer, this time from America's version (Dancing With The Stars). And, what a crying shame, she's been lumbered with bloody John Sergeant – who will surely be the first to go. What a crime! Have you seen Kristina? Look above. I can't find her birth year anywhere, but she's white-haired, small, well-toned and pretty sexy. John Sergeant will be in heaven. But not, alas, for long.

Lilia Kopylova, 30

Oh yes, the beautiful Lilia. To be honest, there are prettier dancers, but nobody exudes raw sex appeal combined with a sense of cheeky fun like Lilia. I still dream about her silver air hostess costume last year. She's dancing with '70s Rising Damp star Don Warrington, so I'm hoping he's a dark horse and can bust a move or two. For me, SCD always take a dip when Lilia drops out of the competition. We need her spark, energy and adorable cuteness 'till the quarter-finals at least.

Strictly Come Dancing 6 starts on 13 September with a pre-show special on BBC1, but the competition really begins on 20 September.