Spoilers. Tolerance; failing... illogic; insurmountable.... motivations; inconsistent... plots; insipid... developments; tedious. The first of a two-part episode (which is a laughable idea, given the fact Heroes is a serialized drama!) sees the heroes and villains dealing with the onset of a solar eclipse (that can somehow be seen in Kansas and Haiti at the same time), which takes away their powers (and thus a good 85% of the reason most people are still watching this show).Sylar & Elle: In a subplot riddled with problems, Elle (Kristen Bell) and Sylar (Zachary Quinto) team-up to help Arthur (Robert Forster) retrieve the "catalyst" for Kaito's formula: Claire (Hayden Panettiere). Why can't Arthur do this himself, given the fact he can teleport and is far more powerful? Just ignore that. Why was Elle chained up inside a cell last week, but is now allowed out with Sylar? Just ignore that. Why does Elle suddenly take delight in pushing Sylar back into evil ways, given the fact we know she hated herself for turning him into a monster? Just ignore that. Why would Elle go after Claire, the girl who helped her in her hour of need and she bonded with as they travelled to Pinehearst? Just ignore that. How has her malfunctioning power been restored? Just ignore that.
Arthur & Mohinder: I had high expectations of Arthur to be a viable, exciting lead villain. Sadly, Forster seems unable to raise his voice to a higher or lower octave, making him look tranquillized half the time. Here, he draws the future ("catalyst" Claire shot and dying in her father's arms.) Isn't it strange how precogs are also artistic? I'd love to see someone draw stick men after their eyes turn white. Elsewhere, Mohinder (Sendhil Ramamurthy) is cured of his slow disfigurement thanks to the eclipse, although Arthur wants him to restore their powers. What's the rush, Art? You still don't know if powers will be restored after the eclipse is over! And are you seriously telling me nobody's ever experienced a power-sapping solar eclipse in the 400-odd years we know "specials" have been around? Dumb, dumb, dumb.
Claire & Mr. Bennet: It used to be a delight seeing these two characters together, but now it's just schmaltzy tripe. Mr. Bennet (Jack Coleman; wasted since season 1) is stuck in one of those "let's train Claire" subplots. So, he stands around teaching his daughter how to hit people with planks of wood. That is, until Elle and Sylar turn up (minus their powers), and Claire is shot during a struggle, but unable to heal herself.
Peter, Nathan & The Haitian: The Petrelli brothers go in search of The Haitian (Jimmy Jean Louis) to stop Arthur. Doesn't anyone have his phone number? If you wait long enough he tends to turn up, anyway. Regardless, Peter (Milo Ventimiglia) hitches a ride with fly-boy Nathan (Adrian Pasdar), before the eclipse causes him to take a tumble into the Haitian jungle. I appreciated the change in location, but otherwise this was tedious stuff. The sudden antagonism between the brothers seemed to come out of nowhere, and Ventimiglia's bad acting remains a stumbling block. Oh, and The Haitian is the latest character to get a super-powered relative.
Hiro, Ando, Matt & Daphne: Hiro (Masi Oka) now has the mind of a 10-year-old (yeah, I can't tell the difference either), and teleports Matt (Greg Grunberg) and Ando (James Kyson Lee) to Kansas, to find Daphne (Brea Grant) at her family home. Characters on Heroes tend to run away and inspire whole plots about just finding them, see. The big reveal here is that Daphne (now minus her powers), is crippled by polio. Of course, I have no idea why super-speed cures her condition. Just ignore that. Greg Grunberg must rank as the show's most irritating presence now; a sharp fall from his everyman role in season 1. There's just no direction or sense of purpose about this whole Matt/Daphne "love story".
Hiro and Ando realize this, as they quickly leave the story and head to a local comic-book store -- to pick up a new issue of the predictive 9th Wonder and see what happens next. Again, I have no idea why people don't read this comic cover-to-cover -- they just go about their day and then, when something important happens, point to a corresponding panel and gasp. Turn the page, dummies! This tiresome subplot also introduces two new characters: geeks Frack (Breckin Meyer) and Sam (Seth Green), both recognisable film/TV actors with a degree of geek-cred. Which has now been dented by agreeing to appear in Heroes, you might argue.
"The Eclipse: Part 1" was rudderless, joyless, and festooned with plot-holes. Inconsistent, illogical, boring, senseless tripe that actually became a chore to sit through. If the writers can't even be bothered to make characters act consistently across a few episodes (Elle), then it's difficult to care about them. The whole story is adrift in a malaise of its own creation: I sometimes struggle to even remember what the ultimate goal of Arthur is, or how the heroes are trying to stop him. Then I remember why I've chosen to forget: it just makes no sense. Heroes has become a huge, untenable, juggling act for the writers to stress over and vomit out the best scripts they can to keep something happening on-screen, and give their highly-paid actors something (anything) to do.
We need a hero to sort this mess out. Calling Bryan Fuller...
26 November 2008
BBC Three, 10pm
Writers: Joe Pokaski & Aron Eli Coleite
Director: Greg Beeman
Cast: Jack Coleman (Mr. Bennet), Zachary Quinto (Sylar), Milo Ventimiglia (Peter), Adrian Pasdar (Nathan), Hayden Panettiere (Claire), Masi Oka (Hiro), James Kyson Lee (Ando), Ali Larter (Tracy), Greg Grunberg (Matt), Brea Grant (Daphne), Robert Forster (Arthur), Jimmy Jean-Louis (The Haitian), Kristen Bell (Elle), Breckin Meyer (Frack) & Seth Green (Sam)
