Or an elevator, for our Yankie friends. Okay, so this now a meme from Rob over at The Medium Is Not Enough, inspired by a Guardian Top 10 compiled by Anna Pickard, which in turn was based on Stephen Fry becoming genuinely trapped in a broken lift and documenting the experience via Twitter. So, my Top 10 celebs, with reasons, are:
10. Yvonne Strahovski: C'mon, if you're lucky enough to be in a lift when she steps inside, you'll be praying for a break down. I may even cut a few wires in the button-console when she's not looking. Anyway, I think she'd know what to do because of her training on Chuck. This stuff happens to secret agents all the time, right?
9. D.L Hawkins: Okay, he's a fictional character in Heroes. Go with it. He can walk through walls, so that will be very useful. I know he was killed in a fire on the show -- but nobody's really dead in Heroes, are they? If not him, teleporter Hiro, for obvious reasons.
8. Verne Troyer: He's so tiny it would mean more oxygen for me. Plus, he'd make a good stool to reach the overhead grate.
7. Stephen Fry. The mandatory choice. He can document the whole situation on Twitter (fact!) and probably offer pearls of wisdom about lifts. But, y'know, make it actually sound interesting. And I can get him to go "beaaahh" a few times.
6. Inspector Gadget: He's sure to have a gizmo in his hat to hasten our escape. Go-go gadget... er, battering ram?
5. The Doctor. Two words, my friend: sonic screwdriver.
4. Ray Mears. Mainly because he'd be unable to cope with urban survivalism like this (his bushtucker skills will be utterly useless), so I could take charge and become the Alpha Male.
3. Tricia Helfer. In her ethereal Number Six guise from Battlestar Galactica, because she doesn't need oxygen and always manages to soothe particularly strenuous situations. That's why. It has nothing to do with the slinky red dress.
2. Steven Spielberg. So I can use the opportunity to pitch a movie idea about a celebrity trapped in a lift overnight with someone they suspect might be a homicidal stalker. Then watch as he backs off into the corner...
1. Bill Gates. It'll be his elevator most likely, and there's no way his people are going to let billionaire Mr. Gates suffer for long. And I can use the time to bitch about Vista.