Spoilers. The third series of the sci-fi monster melee gets off to an underwhelming start, despite the opportunities afforded by introducing new characters and expanding the concept into fresher territory. It boils down to the usual Primeval formula in the end; another twinkling "anomaly" opens in a London museum, contained inside Egyptian exhibit "The Sun Cage", spitting forth an ancient "crocodile" (Pristichampsus) that proceeds to terrorize the area -- meaning sourfaced Scottish mannequin Professor Nick Cutter (Douglas Henshall) and his bungling team of monster-wranglers (an elfin zookeeper, a wisecracking geek with a laptop, and a posh PR girl) must try to contain the damage...Egyptologist Dr. Sarah Page (Footballers Wives' Laila Rouass) is caught up in this opener's events, initially believing the croc to be an ancient Egyptian demon called Ammit. Later, Cutter theorizes that many of mankind's myths (the Loch Ness Monster, the Yeti, Bigfoot, etc.) might just be eye-witness accounts of ancient/future beasts coming through the anomalies, which therefore excuses the series to explore more "supernatural" terrain. I guess the CGI-wizards were getting bored of plundering their Walking With Dinosaurs hard-drive, and wanted more of a creative challenge.
Captain Becker (Ben Mansfield) is the second newcomer; the team's stoical bodyguard, who generally just pose while holding a machine-gun one-handed. A big flaw in Primeval's premise has been how unmilitaristic the team are, so Becker's intended to paper over that crack. He makes negligible impression here being introduced, however -- fading into the background and proving himself rather ineffective besides. It would make more sense to have the team be almost entirely comprised of soldiers, with Cutter and perhaps one other academic in the mix as advisors, but Primeval still expects us to swallow diminutive Abby (Hannah Spearritt), cretinous Connor (Andrew-Lee Potts) and the largely pointless Jenny (Lucy Brown) as valuable gangmembers.
As a season premiere, there are a few moments that foreshadow the direction of this year: hoity-toity Lester (Ben Miller, typecast as asshole execs on ITV) now has a boss called Christine Johnson (Belinda Stewart-Wilson) who apparently has a secret agenda. She's sent a team through an anomaly to retrieve "the artifact", only for them to be slaughtered by a herd of those Future Predator beasties. Meanwhile, Cutter's aggravating wife Helen (Juliet Aubrey and her impressive cleavage) is searching for the same macguffin through timeholes. Connor and Sarah also realize that the anomaly's arrival inside an Egyptian "Sun Cage" exhibit made of magnetite isn't just coincidence, as hieroglyphics prove that Ancient Egyptians knew about the anomalies and built the "Sun" Cage to contain them. Similarities to Stargate are purely coincidental, I'm sure...
The tweaks to the mythology might actually be a good thing (we've had our fill of 'raptors in supermarkets, and the like), but the problem with this premiere was obvious: the show is incredibly repetitive in construct, and the characters are dull as ditchwater. I can't take any of it seriously (which you're not supposed to), but neither can I get behind any of the ARC team as people. The new members appear just as wooden, and it was disappointing that this episode didn't focus on new girl Sarah Page to any relevant extent. Her introduction as a key player felt almost accidental by the end, as she was hired for the tenuous reason that she's written a thesis on mythical beasts.
Primeval often reminds me of one of those outrageously stupid Sci-Fi Channel "original movies" (Mansquito, Mammoth, Shark In Venice, et al), but served up in weekly doses. There's the same terrible music (full of oscillating violins), bored-looking actors reacting to tennis balls on sticks, banal dialogue, steals from better TV/films (anyone else note Cutter's Die Hard-inspired escape from a building?), plots of a "wash, rinse, repeat" variety, and the only thing holding it together is the decent CGI -- but even that felt less central than usual, perhaps due to budget concerns for cash-strapped ITV?
Maybe this was just a bad start from writer Steve Bailie (whose only notable credit is as a writer for The Bill), but after the flawed-but-fun second season, this premiere felt like an almighty backwards step to season 1-syle tosh. Primeval's never been great, but it's been more fun.
28 March 2009
ITV1, 7.20pm
Writer: Steve Bailie
Director: Tony Mitchell
Cast: Douglas Henshall (Prof. Cutter), Hannah Spearritt (Abby), Andrew-Lee Potts (Connor), Lucy Brown (Jenny), Ben Miller (Lester), Juliet Aubrey (Helen), Ben Mansfield (Capt. Becker), Laila Rouass (Sarah Page) & Belinda Stewart-Wilson (Christine Johnson)
