Poppin' your cherry pie.
A crass, dull, tedious malingerer, Sex Drive is a particularly ignoble entry in the teen sex comedy pantheon. American Pie re-opened the floodgates back in '99, and we're getting the scummy dregs a decade later. To be fair, the premise of a virgin going on a road trip to pop his cherry with a hottie he chats to online is a pliable basis for fun, filthy, silly humour. Trouble is, after a faltering but passable opening, the movie quickly runs out of good ideas...
Ian (Josh Zuckerman) is our virginal hero; a stereotypical dork who works as a talking donut in a shopping mall, has a bullying homophobic brother called Rex (James Marsden), a childhood friend he fancies in Felicia (Amanda Crew), a best-friend called Lance (Clark Duke) who transcends his own nerdiness with brash confidence, and the aforementioned internet buddy in "Ms. Tasty" (Katrina Bowden) who begs him to travel across the country for some hot lovin'.
After stealing his brother's pride-and-joy Pontiac (Ferris Bueller-style, with Marsden assuming the Ed Rooney role thereafter), Ian embarks on a road trip with his two friends to get laid by his internet inamorata, encountering an array of ker-azy characters (Seth Green's sarcastic Amish petrolhead, David Koechner's scary hitchhiker) and becoming embroiled in wacky situations (an Amish "Rumspringa" party, an abstinence convention, a county jail, etc.) You know the drill.
What cripples Sex Drive are its uninventive misadventures and a tragically predictable plot. The scripts for cinematic cousins Road Trip and Dude, Where's My Car? were far more creative with their own excuses to serve up ribald set-pieces. The obstacles facing our triumvirate in Sex Drive just aren't very interesting or funny, and it quickly begins to feel that the filmmakers are improvising whatever half-baked idea pops into their head (the road kill possum scene felt particularly odd.)
More crucially, it's difficult to believe in any of these characters. The big gag with Ian's clique is that they're geeks who've become studs by treating girls badly (the "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" mentality), which just feels like a poor direction to take things. It just isn't an accurate reflection of real people, or a funny subversion besides. Even Ian's decision to travel cross-country to bed Ms. Tasty never feels convincing; we're supposed to believe that his failure to woo sweetheart Felicia forces him into desperate measures to lose his virginity, but earlier in the movie Ian has a clear opportunity with an equally-stunning blonde, but can't go through with that easier option.
Of course, there are some laughs in Sex Drive, as there is in most raucous comedies focusing on hormonal teens. A few of the pratfalls and embarrassments cause guffaws -- like Ian twanging a condom onto his stepmother's head (a reworking of a scene from Extras with Daniel Radcliffe, admittedly) -- and the performance from Marsden's grinning, evil sibling Rex is a highlight. A crossbreed of Weird Science's Chet and American Pie's Stiffler. Marsden shows verve that cuts through the flimsy script, contrary to the drab and boring leads -- particularly Zuckerman and Crew.
Overall, Sex Drive feels like a bunch of hacks cobbled together a half-decent cast (friends of friends, actors doing old co-stars favours -- check out IMDb to make the connections), adapted a little-known book into a raunchier sex comedy (Andy Behrens' 2006 debut "All The Way"), and just dived straight in without fine-tuning anything. Consequently, a simpleminded but promising idea was flushed down the crapper. It narrowly manages to hold your interest (if only to see what happens when Ian eventually meets his cyber-fantasy), but it's impossible to recommend and a struggle to watch.
For a teenage sex comedy, this is impotent.
directed by: Sean Anders written by: Sean Anders & John Morris (based on the novel "All The Way" by Andy Behrens) starring: Josh Zuckerman (Ian Lafferty), Amanda Crew (Felicia Alpine), Clark Duke (Lance Johnson), James Marsden (Rex Lafferty), Seth Green (Ezekiel), Alice Greczyn (Mary), Katrina Bowden ("Ms. Tasty"), Charlie McDermott (Andy), Mark L. Young (Randy), Cole Petersen (Dylan), Dave Sheridan (Bobby Jo), Michael Cudlitz (Rick), Allison Weissman (Becca), Andrea Anders (Brandy), Kim Ostrenko (Ian's Stepmother), Brett Rice (Mr. Lafferty), David Koechner (The Hitchhiker), Fall Out Boy (Themselves), Brian Posehn (Carnie) & Kristina Dawson (Party Girl) Summit Entertainment/20th Century Fox/Universal Studios / 111-min. (theatrical) 130-min. (unrated) / $19 million (budget) / www.sexdrivethemovie.com/