Sometimes I wish I was a celebrity, just so I might get the chance to dance with Ola Jordan on Strictly Come Dancing. I may implement a five-year plan to do just that. To my advantage, you don't even have to be a major star. A walk-on part in The Bill might just do it. Sure, I'd be in the dance-off in Week 1 and booted off by the judges, but -- man -- I'd put in the training. I'd insist on 5 a.m starts, seven days a week. I'm a committed guy, see.
Last night saw the second part of SCD's seventh series opener, with the same eight couples putting the ballroom aside and cutting loose with hot n' steamy Latin dances. To say it was an improvement on Friday night would be a huge understatement, mainly because there were bonus features: some excellent group dances (I particularly liked new girls Aliona, Katya and Natalie), a surprise dance from last year's winners Tom Chambers and Camilla Dallerup, a performance by Katherine Jenkins (can someone sign her up for series 8, please?), and the spectacle of the dreaded dance-off that was missing from Friday's opener...
JADE JOHNSON & IAN WAITE
Chachacha: Jade made a good impression in a yellow dress and tiny skirt, showing off her long, somewhat muscular legs. She's at least got those half-constipated dance-faces off to a tea, and the splits at the end were a nice surprise.
ALI BASTIAN & BRIAN FORTUNA
Rhumba: She got off to a fantastic start yesterday, and only stepped up a gear for Saturday's performance. A much sexier dance, Ali's pink-silver dress was fantastic and showed off her curves very nicely, not to mention her great legs and effervescent blonde locks. An early contender to win the show, for me.
LYNDA BELLINGHAM & DARREN BENNETT
Chachacha: I'm not sure what she was doing in a Spider-Woman costume, but I guess this was a better display than Friday night, if still one for the over-50s.
RAV WILDING & ALIONA VILANI
Rhumba: I'm not sure about her features, but Aliona's got a great body and this white dress showed off every centimetre of her legs, in a slinky and lithe physical performance. Cute bum, too.
CHRIS HOLLINS & OLA JORDAN
Rhumba: You can always rely on lovely Ola. Here she was on the dance-floor, half-naked save for some remnants of a black dress and silver underwear. You can't really fault the wardrobe department and Ola's ability to get everyone hot under the collar.
JOE CALZAGHE & KRISTINA RIHANOFF
Chachacha: Kristina's sort of like Ola's mother, isn't she? The Russian dancer put on another good performance, in a silver dress with plenty of sparkle and tassels to dazzle the men. Firm legs and a round bottom, all wrapped up in tin foil.
MARTINA HINGIS & MATTHEW CUTLER
Rhumba: Not bad, but Martina somehow looks a bit uncomfortable in skimpy clothes. Still, this purple-silver number was quite nice, showing off her cleavage and leg, but nothing to get very excited about.
RICKY GROVES & ERIN BOAG
I'm never sure what to make of Erin Boag, really. From certain angles she's a bit freaky-looking (so much orange skin and a tombstone smile), but this Hawaii-inspired green/pink dress was actually quite hot. Tiny skirt, plenty of body-shape, very niceTHE DANCE-OFF
After the public vote, it was Rav & Aliona versus Martina & Matthew in the first dance-off of the series. I was hoping and praying for Aliona to win through, as it's a little unfair if a new pro dancer is booted off so early, and Aliona's easier on the eye than Martina. Thankfully, Len Goodman's deciding vote meant Martina Hingis had the ignominy of leaving first. Hurrah!
How did you feel about Strictly's second episode? Or did you tune into X Factor instead, which Strictly had controversially decided to compete directly against?
