Ola's why I stay in most Saturday nights. Now that's a dress, Cheryl Cole...
Is Strictly still on? This hasn't been a good series, has it. Even diehard fans must admit that SCD's been sunk this year by too much distracting controversy, behind-the-scenes racism, and terrible scheduling from the BBC. You don't even have a chance to vote if you're watching on time-delay, as you could when the result show was on Sunday. There's even gossip that many of the celebs aren't putting in the effort this year, as the stats for rehearsal hours are significantly down on last year. Meanwhile, The X Factor is widening the gap to record-breaking levels over on ITV – 15m to Strictly's 8m. I'd ordinarily suggest a big revamp next year, but that's kinda what they were aiming to do this year, and look where it's gotten them...
Natalie Cassidy & Vincent Simone
Jive: Totally unsexy and Natalie's facial expressions are beginning to bug me now, but she's admittedl one of the few celebs that actually seems to enjoy every second out on the dance floor.Zoe Lucker & James Jordan
Samba: With a tiny dress resembling a leaf (something a teenage Tinkerbell might wear, perhaps), this was another fun and saucy performance from Zoe. Slender body, lovely long legs, smiley and fun with some hip grinding thrown in.Craig Kelly & Flavia Cacace
Waltz: I really hate the waltz. It just looks so pretensious and dull to me. And for someone like Flavia it means she generally wears long, boring ballgowns. It's like throwing a towel over a Mona Lisa!Ricky Groves & Erin Boag
Rumba: Phewee. Hot and steamy antipodean loveliness, as Erin makes a play to the next Bond Girl in dancing to "License To KilL". Sexy little black dress, very stylish, semi-transparent skirt, hair down and looking great.Laila Rouass & Anton Du Beke
Waltz: Again, yawn. Sorry, Laila's a beautiful woman, but these ballroom dances are fast-forward material. Thank God for Virgin+.Phil Tufnell & Katya Virshilas
Tango: Sexily aggressive dance from Katya (check out those karate kicks at the start!) and she certainly put across the attitude. Not hugely attractive once it settled down, but not bad.Ricky Whittle & Natalie Lowe
Quickstep: After weeks wowing us, Natalie was due a potentially dull dance, and the quickstep never gets me excited. But Natalie just about made it bearable in a snow white dress going well with her Scandinavian blonde locks.Jade Johnson & Ian Waite
Foxtrot: Another fairly dull offering, really. I'm a Latin dance man, clearly. Still, Jade looked pretty glitzy.Ali Bastian & Brian Fortuna
Paso Doble: Lots of entertainment and blood-pumping fun here, as Ali tore up the dance floor – open-backed dress, skirt slashed up to the waist, lots of drama and passion. Good fun.Chris Hollins & Ola Jordan
Cha Cha Cha: Ola's catsuit from series 6 went down in SCD history, so here came its red-hot sister. Yes, you can't really beat seeing Ola dancing to a sexy disco tune in a body-hugging catsuit, swirling her hips with enough energy to power every home in the country. There's a reason they leave her till last on the show. Bliss.The Result
A controversial dance-off, with favourites Ali & Brian versus popular Zoe & James. I'd have kept Ali, which is exactly what happened – but it was a shame to lose Zoe. She didn't really deserve that at all. But there you go.
