WRITER: Jamie Gorenberg[SPOILERS] Much like America's other mainstream comedy/drama with voice-over narration, Desperate Housewives has always used the disembodied voice of Mary Alice Young (Brenda Strong) to link together each episode's many plot strands into a (sometimes contrived) cohesive whole. Episode five's spectral audio prologue establishes perhaps the most glaringly unsubtle theme to resonate through an ABC series outside of the walls of Sacred Heart Hospital: never judge a book by its cover. I said it was glaringly unsubtle, I didn't say it was mould-breaking.
DIRECTOR: Larry Shaw
GUEST CAST: Orson Bean, Aisha Hinds, Dennis Cockrum, David Bickford, Barbara Alyn Woods & Mackenzie Smith
Judgment plot-strand #2 finds uptight Bree (Marcia Cross) unable to accept a stranger's disapproval after a hotel maid (Aisha Hinds) gives her a sanctimonious glare for lying to husband Orson (Kyle MacLachlan) on the phone about her affair with divorce lawyer Karl (Richard Burgi). Bree returns to dispel the worldly maid's opinion twice more before she accepts that she does feel guilty for her actions as she sees the love and hope in Orson's eyes – but it doesn't stop her from seeing Karl again. Well, that was a lesson well learnt(!)
Judgement plot-strand #3 sees Karen McCluskey's (Kathryn Joosten) man-friend Roy Bender (Orson Bean) working as an odd-job man for the Scavo's. This soon puts Lynette's (Felicity Huffman) nose out of joint as Roy continuously goes over her head to ask the permission of the ''man of the house'' Tom (Doug Savant). Lynette's retort that Roy must know what century we are living in as he uses a mobile phone was a chucklesome delight to an otherwise filler plotline which only serves to remind the audience of Roy's existence and reaffirm -- for the second episode running -- that Tom loves Lynette, even if she can be a tad controlling. Awhhhhh.Judgement plot-strand #4 -- and perhaps the loosest purveyor of the theme -- sees Susan Delfino (Teri Hatcher) brand Katherine Mayfair (Dana Delaney) a "loon" for spreading lies about how close she has been to Mike (James Denton) since Mike left her for Susan. As justified as Susan is in calling out her friend on this issue, I find it hard to sympathise with Katherine as her motives are purely selfish and her actions questionable.
It may seem somewhat contrary of me to judge such a judgment-heavy episode as frivolous and unprogressive, especially after I last week criticised episode four for being in too much of a rush, but I guess this variety of styles is the result of having a different writer tackle each episode so far this season. Thank goodness, then, for the final ten minutes, which really move things along in a literally explosive fashion: Susan accidentally shoots a suspiciously sneaky Katherine (though it's more of a graze) with the gun Danny Bolen (Beau Mirchoff) has lent to Julie Mayer (Andrea Bowen) to help her feel safe with her attacker still on the loose. Cue panic at the Bolen's, who realise their gun is registered in their real name and so Angie (Drea De Matteo) and Nick (Jeffrey Nordling) go to great lengths to persuade Katherine not to call the police, or an ambulance, by manipulating her dangerous obsession over Mike...
So, no trip to the hospital this week, which was probably for the best, or I really would have suspected I'd stumbled into an episode of Scrubs, where wacky and surreal events ensue alongside tense and dramatic scenes, like a monkey attacking a clown while a son threatens to blow the lid on his father’s affair with a teenage girl. Oh, wait, both of these did actually happen on Wisteria Lane this week.
24 FEBRUARY 2010: CHANNEL 4 (HD), 9PM
