DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES 6.11 – ''If..."

WRITER: Jamie Gorenberg
DIRECTOR: Larry Shaw
GUEST CAST: Paul Keeley, Evan Arnold, Helen Elgenberg, Craig Tsuyumine, Migel Pérez, Karolinah Villarreal, Gloria Garayua, Zayne Emory, Anthony Traina, Ragan Wallake

[SPOILERS] It is always a gamble for any television show to leave the reality of their characters current situation behind and drift into reverie -- especially when an entire episode is given over to this hypothetical dream world. Images of Courtney Cox in a fat suit on Friends keep popping up in my mind (or any episode of Scrubs, for that matter) as do the words "jumping", "the" and "shark". But given Desperate Housewives' kooky nature, the show has always been able to skirt the unconventional a little more freely than more straight-laced dramas. Even with Teri Hatcher donning a dreaded Monica-esque fat suit, "If..." overcame this visual hiccup and went on to be far and away the greatest and most endearing episode of season 6 to date.

In the aftermath of the plane crash depicted in "Boom, Crunch", the residents of Wisteria Lane are anxiously awaiting news on the condition of those most seriously injured, namely Karl Mayer (Richard Burgi) and Mona Clarke (Maria Cominis). First up, Susan (Teri Hatcher) ponders what might have been had she not divorced her cheating ex-husband but stayed living in "ignorance" of his continuing infidelities, for the sake of their daughter. The answer, apparently, is many years of comfort eating and Karl eventually walking out, anyway. A leopard can't change his spots, as the axiom goes.

This fear is also shared by Karl's most recent lover, Bree (Marcia Cross), who, having needed sedation to deal with the news that, tragically, Karl has passed away, dreams of what might have been had she become the next Mrs Mayer: catch him in bed with her yoga instructor (Ragan Wallake), apparently. It was an oddly unsympathetic tribute to an exiting established character, especially considering an entire episode was devoted to Edie Britt when she died last season, but it was certainly in keeping with Karl's playboy personality.

While Mona Clarke continues struggling for her life, one family is actually praying that she doesn't pull through: the Bolens, who Mona blackmailed prior to the accident to keep quiet about their former lives. As Nick (Jeffrey Nordling) rushes home to pack in case a quick getaway is required, Angie (Drea De Matteo) stays on at the hospital awaiting news, considering what would happen if Mona recovers and reveals all to the police... we finally meet Agent Padilla (Migel Pérez) -- who Nick spoke to over the phone in "The Coffee Cup" -- who interrogates an orange jumpsuited Angie before she is eventually jailed for life without parole because she cannot say where Patrick Logan (the mastermind behind the stunt which led to the initial murder) is. But don't panic yet, Angie, because Mona dies too: "she was hit by the wing of a plane," the nurse reminds them, matter-of-factly.

After daughter Celia (Daniella Baltodano) was saved by Lynette Scavo (Felicity Huffman), Gabrielle Solis (Eva Longoria Parker) ponders what Celia will go on to achieve in her purportedly extraordinary life... we see Gabby become a pushy mother, forcing Celia to go to auditions despite having no discernable acting talent, to the point that she pushes husband Carlos (Ricardo Chavira) away and ends up old and grey and living in a ludicrously dilapidated house with a depressed 24-year-old daughter (Gloria Garayua) still chasing her mother's dream. If I were to be harsh, this story felt the most contrived; an excuse to give Gabby some screen time amongst the other Housewives' more compelling storylines. But it was by no means dreadful and it didn't tarnish the high quality of the episode in any way.

Last, and most definitely not least, we reach the emotional jackpot: while in the waiting room, pregnant Lynette feels a pain in her stomach and is rushed to the ward. Concerned that one of the unborn twins is at risk of permanent disability, the doctors take her in for emergency surgery. While in anaesthesia, Lynette dreams of a future taking care of a disabled son, and the hardships and pressures that go with fighting what feels like a losing battle. Thankfully, ever-loyal husband Tom (Doug Savant) is on hand to rally her round at breaking point. Out of all the Housewives, Lynette always does the most authentic job of portraying "browbeaten" and 'harassed', and here was no different, particularly as she physically shakes while refusing -- for his own good -- to help struggling Patrick (Zayne Emory) make his own sandwich. This remarkable and moving segment was crowned by the crushing reality that, unfortunately, the doctors couldn’t save Patrick after all. Heartbreaking.

Bravo, Desperate Housewives: "If..." was a dicey venture which paid dividends. It could so easily have been a ludicrous, cringeworthy affair which stopped the season dead as misplaced fantastical filler following the earth-shattering "Boom, Crunch", but what we got was a spectrum of sensational set pieces featuring fantastically poignant performances evoking a kaleidoscope of emotions; sometimes it pays to take risks.

14 APRIL 2010: CHANNEL 4/HD, 9PM