I'm impressed. Lord Sugar's office rang a house full of teenagers at 7am and they all rolled out of bed before noon. These aren't normal teenagers. Well, actually, this task proved they are. After Week One's decent start (give or take a few slips), Week Two saw both teams struggling in a manner you expect kids with no life experience.
The teams were ordered into Wellington boots and whisked to a "city farm" called, unflatteringly, Mudchute. I had no idea something like that existed in London, did you? Once there, Lord Sugar revealed the day's task: to build a prototype piece of camping equipment and pitch it to three retailers. The boys and girls chose their project leaders, who were then switched to the opposing team by Lord Sugar.
Cockney rogue Adam found himself in charge of the girls, and reality TV convention singled him out for probable dismissal when he exclaimed that "men are better at business because of their physical capabilities." Too often on The Apprentice, the first person to make a howler is the one who will be taking a taxi cab home. Hannah, an inventor who can't mention her inventions (it's a water-powered car and she fears being assassinated by an oil company?), led the boys.
Adam's leadership style (or response to being handed a business harem of young girls) was over-enthusiasm and incomprehensible rambling, essentially making no assertive decisions but trying to support every idea thrown up during a brainstorm. Hibah struck upon the notion of a "games table" for families to pass the time on while camping, and it appeared to stick in everyone's mind because there were no better alternatives. At the ensuing "focus group", Hibah and Zoe (who dresses in "business sailorwoman" chic, with lipstick redder than the Devil's arse), pushed the games table idea on a family of campers who looked keen to agree it was a great idea so they'd just leave them in peace.
Hannah's team fared better, with Tim proving himself particularly good at focusing the brainstorming session with his mad whiteboard skillz, and they soon settled on the idea of a "sledge" for festival-goers to drag their belongings around on. It was another poor idea, but you could at least see a modicum of thought had gone into it. It was just a shame none of them had attended any actual music festivals, so their idea didn't come from any personal insight. Their focus group of thirtysomethings told Arjun and Rhys that the "sledge" idea was sound, for some indiscernible reason. Probably intentional sabotage to provide added entertainment when they watched this back on TV.
At the prototype phase, Adam's team had decided to combine every idea they'd had in the morning, thus creating a games table/storage area/shoe rack... made out of cardboard. The look on everyone's face when the flimsy, cheap-looking eyesore arrived the next morning was a particular highlight, quickly topped when Adam's insincere enthusiasm returned and he eagerly placed his own shoe into the prototype's lower shelf to marvel at its genius. Behold, the "Flex N' Store"!
Hannah's sledge was similarly disappointing, but it at least looked like a genuine robust product and not something knocked up by Blue Peter from cereal packets. The main problem with the "Slide-Stuff" (beyond, y'know, the very idea of it), was its childish design and small size. So just the concept and appearance was a problem.
Next, it was time to create some enticing images of both products to use during their pitch sessions. Adam and Hibah went to a field to erect a tent (with unproductive results), meaning they were later forced to have a group of paid actors pose with their "Flex N' Store" while sitting on a flattened flysheet in deckchairs.
On the other team, maths whizz Arjun had all three pitches dropped into his lap with no preparation time. Thus, Arjun didn't fare very well and often stuttered or dried up under the slightest scrutiny (or eye-contact), but he somehow managed to find his feet for the third pitch and put in a relatively impressive performance
Vociferous Zoe was, of course, the natural choice to pitch the team's Flex N' Store, but while her pitches to the retailers went smoother than Arjun's it was obvious she was flogging a dead horse. I think their fate was sealed when Adam admitted you'd perhaps only get four uses out of the Flex N' Store before it would collapse. And I think he was being optimistic, considering prayers were keeping their prototype upright after one day.
In the boardroom, Lord Sugar revealed the results. Hannah's team and their Slide-Stuff somehow managed 3,100 sales and were declared the conclusive winners. Adam's team and their Flex N' Store were the inevitable losers with no sales whatsoever. None. As leader, Adam called Zoe and Hibah back into the boardroom with him, for weak reasons, although it was true that they'd both pushed the games table idea far too much. Zoe may not have contributed any ideas to the brainstorming, but having handled the pitches she was never in any real danger. Hibah was on shakier ground, but Adam had clearly lost control of the task and accepted some monumentally poor ideas.
As usual for The Apprentice, Lord Sugar tends to take pity on young people from working class backgrounds who speak with passion, so once Adam started babbling about his potential and (very amusingly) the "life savings" he'd used to build his own business after leaving school with bad exam results, it was clear he'd done enough to appeal to Lord Sugar's nature. Not entirely unexpectedly, Hibah was fired for shirking responsibilities.
Overall, a very entertaining episode. It was more obvious that Lord Sugar's being careful not to be too overbearing in the boardroom, but that's certainly not having a detrimental effect on the show. I'd be complaining if he was reducing teenagers to tears, so I think the balance is being handled well. Like last week, the task was exactly what you'd expect of the adult series, which has really helped this series. I'm sure people are being a touch softer on the kids (that Flex N' Store would have been torn to shreds if adults were pitching it), but I still feel that Junior Apprentice has enough of the grownup show's DNA to overcome its occasional softness.
19 MAY 2010: BBC1/HD, 9PM
