'DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES' 6.18 – "My Two Young Men"

WRITER: Bob Daily
DIRECTOR: David Grossman
GUEST CAST: John Barrowman, Julie Benz, Shawn Pyfrom, Joy Lauren, Sam Page, Ellen Crawford, Max Carver & Helena Mattsson

[SPOILERS] After 18 episodes of slow-burning build-up, scraps of overheard information and whispers behind closed doors, the Bolen's worst nightmare -- Patrick Logan (John "Captain Jack" Barrowman, in a rather juicy role) -- is back on their scent and finally seen on screen, making his way to Fairview, presumably to ruffle some feathers and take back his son, Danny (Beau Mirchoff), following a tip-off from greedy New Yorker Iris Beckley (Ellen Crawford). I was really hoping for an explosive entrance from the Torchwood star, after all, this was big enough news for the UK's TV Guide to feature the story on this week's cover. Unfortunately, writer Bob Daily was more interested in recycling an immaterial competing mother's storyline, granting Barrowman just one (slightly underwhelming) scene to demonstrate just what Angie Bolen (Drea De Matteo) has been running from all these years. Slow-burning indeed; I just hope Patrick Logan ups the menacing ante next week and ignites a spark in this long-gestating storyline before it's finally extinguished.

Having settled their anxieties about whose child was in the smartest class at school back in "How About A Friendly Shrink?", Susan (Teri Hatcher) and Gabrielle (Eva Longoria Parker) spend far too long retelling an analogous morality tale this week, as Juanita (Madison De La Garza) and MJ (Mason Vale Cotton) raise money for their school by selling overpriced bars of chocolate. Susan is determined that MJ will sell the most so he can finally win at something, while Gaby is determined her unpopular daughter will win so she can make friends at the winner's party. The outcome is obvious a mile off as one parent backs down from their shameless mission at the last minute, but this plot line -- for all it's good intentions -- was hardly worthy of the large chunk of the episode it was granted.

Smarmy, perma-smiling Sam Allen (Sam Page) continued to integrate himself into the Van De Kamp/Hodge family this week, even winning over returning half-sister Danielle (Joy Lauren). Andrew (Shawn Pyfrom), however, is still fuming, taking his rage towards the self-righteous newcomer out on his late father's guitar. His outbursts are doing him no favours in front of besotted Bree (Marcia Cross), although step-father Orson's (Kyle MacLachlan) suspicions are raised and he charges Andrew with exposing Sam's true intentions for tracking down Rex's wife. "What would Rex say if he were with us now?" Bree asked as the entire clan sat down to dinner. "Who's the guy in the wheelchair?" was Orson's deadpan response which had me in stitches. For all its water-treading flaws, "My Two Young Men" was again another humourous episode.

Lynette Scavo (Felicity Huffman) could find little to laugh at, however, as Preston's (Max Carver) Russian fiancée Irina (Helena Mattsson) continued to aggravate the distrustful mother, who was horrified to hear that the couple are planning to move into a place of their own. Without repeating my comments from last week, I'm still unsure whether Irina is being characterised as shrewd and calculating, or smart and attentive. She is onto Lynette's dislike of her, but is her stubbornness to back down out of love for Preston or his money? Either way, Lynette got what she deserved when she flat-out insulted Irina and was covered in a saucepan of dinner.

At a party held to celebrate Mrs McCluskey's (Kathryn Joosten) victory over cancer -- a story written in to acknowledge and mirror the actor's real life battle (thanks to regular DMD commenter's "Nat" and "Shelly" for pointing this titbit out) -- confused and closeted sort-of-lesbian Katherine (Dana Delaney) got into an argument with sort-of-partner Robin (Julie Benz) about openly flirting with a man. Despite taking their personal issues outside, they didn't count on Karen's suggestion of a minute's respectful silence as they rowed in front of an open window. Oops; secret's out and thunder stolen, quite spectacularly. This was by far the episode's most successful plot strand, making a satisfyingly large development -- something all of the other storyline's failed to do -- as Katherine decided it was best if she left the gossiping neighbouring and spent some time away, reflecting, with Robin. It will be interesting to see if Katherine returns to Wisteria Lane in the future (everybody else who hasn't been killed off seems to) and whether Robin will be in tow, too, but until then her departure leaves more room for genuine progress elsewhere. After all, the season is nearly over...

2 JUNE 2010: CHANNEL 4/HD, 9PM

You can read more of Chris Howard's writing at his blog The CRaB Shack.