The new BATMAN v SUPERMAN - DAWN OF JUSTICE trailer hit the net yesterday, so I've taken a little look. (May not contain entirely accurate, serious information.)
Bruce Wayne attends a swanky party in a classic car. But did you notice that Bruce is driving himself? Why would a multi-millionaire drive himself to a party when he has a butler? Is it because he likes driving? Or gave Alfred the night off? Too many questions.
Clark Kent is covering the party Bruce Wayne's attending, so it must be an important shindig. But did you notice who's standing behind Clark? That's right, it's Professor X from the X-Men movies. One of the film's biggest surprises, ruined.
A bat-thrower thingummy. Very difficult to embed in brick walls. 85% of the time they just fall to the floor with an embarrassing 'clink-clink-clink'.
Interesting, right? Funding Cuts to Water Board? What's happening to the water at Gotham?
An enormous statue with absolutely no pigeon shit on it.
Superman lifts part of a NASA space rocket. The poor unfortunate astronauts inside are toast, alas.
In this scene, we can clearly see that Superman has flooded an entire town through boredom and spray painted a young family's home with his 'tag'.
More graffiti, but this time from Batman's arch-nemesis the Joker on the Bat-pyjamas young Batman uses to wear as a boy. I think.
Mark Zuckerberg is playing Lex Luthor!
Superman attends one of the many anti-Man of Steel demonstrations outside various cinemas.
The new Batcave. You have no idea how many workmen were paid off to keep quiet about helping build it. Showing his kinky side, Batman also now has a Fifty Shades-style Red Room.
Bruce stands up to leave during a screening of Man of Steel, blocking the view of the row behind him.
It's unclear who is playing RoboBatMan.
Amy Adams' only scene as Lois Lane, reportedly.
Batman (in a coat because it's cold?) grapples with bad guys, unaware there's a swarm of human-locusts.
A mysterious box. Look closer: it contains a "HEAD". But whose head?
The Abomination co-stars from The Incredible Hulk.
Wonder Woman makes her "surprise appearance" (that's already been well-documented and spoiled by the previous trailers and teases). It's unclear if her shield is stronger than Captain America's, but ask your nearest geek.
The Holy Trinity of DC Comics. Superman and his pectorals, Wonder Woman and her medieval weaponry, and Batman-with-a-shotgun. Excited yet?
BATMAN v SUPERMAN + WONDER WOMAN w/ LOIS LANE & CO. = DAWN OF JUSTICE premieres 25 March 2016.