SUNDAY'S SEX SIREN: Cameron Diaz

As screen entrances go, Cameron Diaz's was one of the best. In The Mask ('94), jaws hit the floor worldwide when she ambled into the bank where Jim Carrey's lovelorn character worked; slinky red dress, smooth shapely legs, deep cleavage, bee-stung lips, a shower of tussled blonde hair. In a film about a man who becomes a living cartoon, she was by far its greatest special-effect. A blonde Jessica Rabbit, come to life.

Naturally, everyone expected her to either vanish into whatever modelling background she'd sprung from, or be typecast as the blonde bombshell forever. She was just 21 when The Mask was released and had only started taking acting lessons after winning the part of gangster's moll Tina Carlyle. So imagine the surprise when she followed up The Mask with black-comedy drama The Last Supper ('95) and rom-coms She's The One ('96), Feeling Minnesota ('96) and My Best Friend's Wedding ('97). None were very successful, but Diaz clearly had some degree of talent that The Mask didn't especially utilize.

A co-starring role in Danny Boyle's A Life Less Ordinary ('97), alongside Ewan McGregor, sank with audiences, but she really made everyone sit up again playing Mary in the Farrelly Brothers' There's Something About Mary. Her comedy timing and generally pleasant down-to-earth character was bewitching, and the sight of her with a stuck-up fringe (the result of semen being mistaken for mousse) became one of the 90s defining comic images. After that, Diaz made a notable play for critical respect in Being John Malkovich ('99), by hiding her sparkling beauty beneath a rat's nest hairdo in one of mainstream cinema's strangest movies. The role earned her nominations at the Golden Globes, BAFTAs and SAG awards.

But super-stardom came her way when Diaz accepted the call to become one of the new Charlie's Angels ('00) It was perfect casting -- allowing Diaz to show-off her beauty again, but in the context of a strong, action-packed, light and frothy Girl Power adventure -- with some hot dance scenes. A less successful sequel followed in 2003, but in the interim Diaz bagged herself a big pay-day by voicing Princess Fiona in Shrek ('01) and its resulting sequels, starred opposite Tom Cruise in a rare villainous role in Vanilla Sky ('01), and appeared in Martin Scorsese's Gangs Of New York. It was clear that Diaz was being taken more seriously, even if she did co-star in atrocious chick flick The Sweetest Thing ('02).

Sadly, the Shrek films seemed to arrive at a period of slowdown post-Charlie's Angels 2. In Her Shoes ('05) and The Holiday ('06) went mostly unnoticed and this year's What Happens In Vegas (with Ashton Kutcher) doesn't look like it's reversed her fortunes. She's just finished filming The Box for director Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko), a horror that's a marked twist away from the light-and-breezy chick flicks she seems to gravitate towards, and is currently filming My Sister's Keeper – a courtroom drama co-starring Alec Baldwin. Shrek Goes Fourth is also in the pipeline for a 2010 release.

I like Cameron Diaz. She was the best thing in those Charlie's Angels movies, through pure enthusiasm and statuesque gorgeousness, and she's never been embarrassing in her serious roles (excellent in Being John Malkovich, decent enough in Gangs Of New York.) It's actually very strange that her most lucrative role is voicing a cartoon in the Shrek films, as a lot of her appeal in films is what you get visually.

She's one of those actresses who genuinely light up the screen with a mega-watt smile – so much so that, even when the films she's in flop, you can never point the finger at her. She might not have very much range as an actress, but she knows how to play to her strengths and has a buoyant personality that makes you smile. And yes, those perfect legs really help.


Name: Cameron Michelle Diaz
Birthdate: 30 August 1972
Birthplace: San Diego, California, USA

PEEP SHOW 5.2 – "Spin War"

Writers: Jesse Armstrong & Sam Bain

Director: Becky Martin

Cast: David Mitchell (Mark), Robert Webb (Jez), Olivia Coleman (Sophie), Matt King (Super Hans), Paterson Joseph (Alan Johnson), Neil Fitzmaurice (Jeff Heaney), Isy Suttie (Dobby), Zac Fox (Barney Chapman), Paul Clayton (Ian Chapman) & Endy McKay (Lisa)

Mark and Sophie return to work after their split, as Jez and Super Hans play their first gig...

After last week's slightly irritating avoidance of season 4's fallout, this episode finds Mark (David Mitchell) and "jilted" bride Sophie (Olivia Coleman) squaring up to each other back at work. Mark's resigned to the fact that his work colleagues are going to hate him (and can you blame them?), but takes solace in another unlikely romance – this time with IT technician Dobby (Isy Suttie). Meanwhile, Jez (Robert Webb) is given a surprisingly good demo-tape by Sophie's teenage cousin Barney (Zac Fox), and decides to exploit Barney's talent for his own musical benefit...

Spin War was another excellent episode, typical of Peep Show firing on all cylinders. It's always a pleasure to see Mark interacting with Sophie and office characters like bully Jeff (Neil Fitzmaurice) and corporate shark Johnson (Paterson Joseph). It'll be interesting to see where things go, as Mark's pursuit of Sophie has informed his character's direction since day 1, but I don't see reconciliation as an option just yet. I'm guessing the show will use the Sophie/Mark relationship to chart a messy divorce for this season, and perhaps the next.

If so, I hope Mark finds someone new to obsess over. This episode once again finds Mark growing close to a woman; the weirdly-alluring and highly-sexed Dobby, who takes a shine to him during a dinner break and makes a bold step by seducing him in the store cupboard. Mark mentally dithers over what to do as she rubs herself into his crotch, before beating a hasty exit as he ejaculates in his trousers, later forced to agree with Jeff and Sophie that he's wet himself – and take comfort that the true nature of his trouser stain remained secret.

While Mark's character soars whenever he's in an office context grappling with his love-life, Jez is likewise at his best whenever partnered with Super Hans (Mark King), the other half of his crappy band. Here, Jez and Super Hans discover their "fan" Barney is actually very talented, so coerce him into joining their band before their first live gig. Hoping he'll write some decent material after hearing his excellent demo-tape, Super Hans unfortunately takes things too far by suggesting oral sex from the precocious yet naïve teen.

It all dovetails into discomfiture for everyone, as Mark takes Dobby to a club to see Jez play live – as Barney leaves Jez's gig in the lurch because Super Hans forced him to suck him off. Then, Mark discovers a drunken Sophie collapsed in a vomit-covered toilet cubicle after heading there for quickie sex with nymphomaniac Dobby, and feels duty-bound to help her...

The story wasn't water-tight, relying on coincidences at times, while the Barney plot became distasteful too quickly -- but that's kind of what you expect with Peep Show. There's an argument for saying the show follows familiar patterns, which I kind of agree with. In particular, Mark's ability to attract women (usually of the same generic personality) is getting a bit strained, although this episode benefited from involving Sophie and her squabbling with Mark.

As usual, the humour doesn't really come from the complexities of the narrative, but the barbed internal commentaries from Mark and Jez. These acidic thought-balloons we hear as viewers remain piercing and reflective of real thoughts. The only difference is that Mark's thought processes are ten times wittier than normal people.

Overall, this episode was an improvement over last week's, mainly because it returned to the ongoing story with Mark/Sophie and included the always-funny Super Hans. Jesse Armstrong and Sam Bain tend to fall back on established set-ups (particularly with Mark and the potential girlfriends he inevitably pushes away), but the quality of the written jokes and humorous situations rarely drops. Which is what really matters in comedy.


9 May 2008
Channel 4, 10.30 pm

DOCTOR WHO 4.6 – "The Doctor's Daughter"

Writer: Stephen Greenhorn

Director: Alice Troughton

Cast: David Tennant (The Doctor), Catherine Tate (Donna Noble), Freema Agyeman (Martha Jones), Georgia Moffett (Jenny), Nigel Terry (Cobb), Joe Dempsie (Cline), Paul Kasey (Hath Peck), Ruari Mears (Hath Gable), Akin Gazi (Carter) & Olalekan Lawal Jr (Soldier)

After arriving on the planet Messaline, Martha is kidnapped by militaristic fish-like humanoids called the Hath, and The Doctor meets his daughter...

Can you smell the oestrogen? The Doctor (David Tennant) is joined by three female companions this week, as the TARDIS whisks him to the planet Messaline with Martha (Freema Agyeman) and Donna (Catherine Tate) in tow, only to be forcibly used as the blueprint for a genetically-created "daughter" -- who comes to be known as Jenny (Georgia Moffett; real-life daughter of Fifth Doctor actor Peter Davison). And all that happens in the opening few minutes!

To be honest, this episode was a bit too hectic for its own good, but the breathless pace and some enjoyable moments eventually dovetailed towards a decent climax. The Doctor discovers that the people of Messaline have been engaged in a generations-long battle with fish-humanoid enemy The Hath (trout-headed warriors with green optics bolted into their mouths.)

As a pacifist, The Doctor tries to end the pointless subterranean war that's been raging (in a web of tunnels snaking out from an abandoned theatre), as it's lost all meaning and both sides just refuse to back down -- out of stubbornness and misplaced sense of tradition. The situation isn't helped by the fact both sides have high-tech equipment ("progenation machines") that can create a stream of battle-ready soldiers, so there's little chance of one side losing through insurmountable fatalities...

Inevitably, Martha gets separated from everyone very quickly -- but befriends an injured Hath, by helping with its dislocated shoulder, and earns their species' trust. The creatures only talk in a flurry of bubbles, although Martha apparently has their language translated by the TARDIS (we just don't have any subtitles as viewers). I think writer Stephen Greenhorn missed a trick in avoiding an Enemy Mine-style aspect to this Martha/Hath interplay, but perhaps it would have just been too difficult to pull off in the 45-minutes allotted...

Besides, it's not long before The Doctor, Donna and Jenny accidentally help both sides realize there's a mythical "Source" in a hidden network of tunnels. Both societies have a Creationist myth about how they came to be, and The Doctor has been instrumental in pointing them toward "divine knowledge" of their beginnings. So the hunt is on, with the humans, led by a grizzled man called Cobb (Nigel Terry), chasing after The Doctor, Donna and Jenny through a labyrinth of new tunnels, as Martha leads her befriended Hath to the Source across the dark, windswept planet's surface...

The Doctor's Daughter is something of a typical episode. My first impression of everything wasn't that favourable; with the set-up and sketchily-drawn characters instantly preparing me for a bog-standard cost-cutting exercise. That said, it was impossible not to be swept along by everything, and Greenhorn's story started showing signs of texture and intelligence...

As the titular Doctor's daughter, Jenny was a pure delight. Georgia Moffett's obviously lovely to look at, but she's also great fun in the role. Issues of parental responsibility are tackled, as The Doctor is initially dismissive of Jenny as nothing but a genetic creation, not his true child – until he hears her dual-heartbeat through his stethoscope. For all the episode's swagger about war and its mystical overtone, it was at its best when dealing with The Doctor's burgeoning affection for his offspring. Jenny was introduced in a split-second (annoyingly), but her relationship with her "dad" evolved very nicely, brilliantly stirred along by a more thoughtful Donna's comments...

Yes, Catherine Tate's very good here; acting as a decent counterbalance to The Doctor in his turmoil over being lumbered with parenthood. There are a few "comedy bits" retorts that Tate once again lurches into ("GI Jane!"), but for the most part I liked her interactions. She even outsmarts The Doctor in resolving the mystery about the Source (using knowledge gleamed from a "temp job" again, amusingly.)

On the flipside, poor Freema Agyeman finds herself stuck in another three-episode stint where she was only required for one (see season 2 of Torchwood.) I loved her energy, enthusiasm and quick-thinking last season, but it's clear now that her character's run its course. This episode gives her a subplot that acts as a balance (by showing things from "the enemy" perspective), but ultimately she's surplus to requirement. And you just can't imagine Martha Jones giving The Doctor a pep talk on being a good dad, can you? She's too young. Donna's maturity has its downsides on the show, but she's better placed to tackle The Doctor on weightier, human issues. If we do see Martha Jones again; fine, I like her. But I'm not signing a petition to get her re-instated as full-time companion now, sorry...

David Tennant doesn't get high-quality witticisms and quips under Greenhorn's pen, but he's brilliant at the emotional stuff with Jenny. His unease over her creation, grudging fondness, followed by excitement about having a daughter accompany him on adventures, was handled superbly. I particularly liked how Jenny rose above her war-like "programming" to become more like her benign father, when she decided not to kill their pursuers. The debate about whether or not The Doctor is a soldier (just one with a no-killing edict, since the fabled Time War) was also interesting.

SPOILERS BEGIN. The eventual demise of Jenny perhaps shouldn't have worked (as we'd only spent 40-minutes in her company), but thanks to Moffett and Tennant's acting skills, they pulled the death scene off very well. I was primed to begin a Sally Sparrow-like campaign to get Jenny reinstated on the show, so when she was joyously resurrected and blasted off into space in her own ship (destined for a spin-off adventure series?) I had to grin. I can't wait to see her again -- just as long as she isn't crippled by immortality, Jack Harkness-style. SPOILERS END.

Overall, The Doctor's Daughter was an episode with a bland premise, moderately rescued by a late-twist that put things into a fresh perspective. But the pleasure of the episode came not from the mostly-extraneous Martha, the awkward Hath (a shame the budget never stretches to animatronic mouths, isn't it?), or the low-rent premise, but in seeing The Doctor fall in love with his rebellious teenage progeny. It was Tennant's touching performance, and the doe-eyed charms of sexy Georgia Moffett doing somersaults down a corridor of laser-beams, that ensured this adventure didn't crash-and-burn...


10 May 2008
BBC1, 6.45 pm

HEROES: Season 3 Promo

The lacklustre second season disappointed nearly everyone, coming hot-on-the-heels of a limp season 1 finale. How are you BBC viewers enjoying it so far? So the question is: was Heroes a great one-season wonder? Does it deserve a second chance? Yeah, I think so. Season 2 wasn't unwatchable, it was just empty, silly and swam in circles for too long.

Season 3 (okay, "Volume III: Villains") has just had a promo released by NBC. Don't get too excited, it doesn't contain any actual footage. Instead, it just lets you know that season 3 will involve heroes becoming villains. Clearly, there are a number of characters who might "turn to the dark side", and season 3 will explore that aspect. Sounds interesting. The show could do with an injection of evil, with Sylar perhaps leading his own Magneto-style Brotherhood. What do you think?

It's also been revealed that Brea Grant (Friday Night Lights) is joining the cast as Daphne, nicknamed "The Speedster", who has three super-speed powers, including one that enables her to run at lightning speed (even when Hiro freezes time!)

Brea Grant told the Associated Press:

"I'm stealing a secret that's been kept in Hiro's family for a long time that he's just now found. He stops time right as I grab it, but in that second it took him to grab it, I almost make it out of the office."

Masi Oka, who plays Hiro added:

"Her character is supposed to be Hiro's Joker. Batman has The Joker. Hiro has Daphne. This is the season where Hiro finally finds his arch nemesis, and it happens to be this Speedster. I kind of equate it more to Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner, except Daphne says more than 'meep-meep.'"

Bruce Boxleitner, most famous for his roles in Tron and Babylon 5, has also joined the cast in a "top-secret recurring role that was originally going to be modelled after Senator John McCain... [and will] be sharing scenes with a female series regular".

Box Office Charts: w/e 9 May 2008

In the US: Summer is here! Feel the cinema sunlight! Iron Man took an amazing £102 million from American cinemagoers, making it the first 2008 blockbuster. This is the 10th highest-grossing opening ever, and 2nd highest for a non-sequel (behind Spider-Man)... trailing far, far behind was rom-com Made Of Honour with Patrick Dempsey and Michelle Monaghan at #2...

In the UK: Iron Man repeated its US success in the UK, taking a big £5.4 million... family adventure Nim's Island had to make do with third place (unable to beat Forgetting Sarah Marshall at #2)... Made Of Honour debuts at #4, without breaking the £1m barrier... and French animation Persepolis breaks into the top 10 after 2 weeks of release...


US TOP 10

(-) 1. Iron Man $102m
(-) 2. Made Of Honor $14.8m
(1) 3. Baby Mama $10.1m
(2) 4. Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay $6.11m
(4) 5. Forgetting Sarah Marshall $6.06m
(3) 6. The Forbidden Kingdom $4.19m
(5) 7. Nim's Island $2.68m
(6) 8. Prom Night $2.4m
(7) 9. 21 $2m
(8) 10. 88 Minutes $1.55m


UK TOP 10

(-) 1. Iron Man £5.4m
(1) 2. Forgetting Sarah Marshall £1.3m
(-) 3. Nim's Island £820k
(-) 4. Made Of Honor £749k
(2) 5. The Eye £366k
(3) 6. 21 £319k
(5) 7. In Bruges £296k
(4) 8. Fool's Gold £189k
(10) 9. Happy-Go-Lucky £178k
(-) 10. Persepolis £126k

UK RELEASES THIS WEEK

CASHBACK
An insomniac working the night shift at a local supermarket finds his imagination running wild. Comedy-drama starring Sean Biggerstaff, Emilia Fox, Shaun Evans, Michelle Ryan & Stuart Goodwin.

CHARLIE BARTLETT
A rich kid becomes a self-appointed psychiatrist of his high school's student body. Comedy starring Anton Yelchin, Robert Downey Jr, Hope Davis, Kat Dennings & Tyler Hilton.

DOOMSDAY
30 years after the outbreak of a deadly disease that was contained by quarantining Scotland, the British government send a team over Hadrian's Wall to find a cure, when the disease strikes again in London. Sci-fi action starring Rhona Mitra, Bob Hoskins, Malcolm McDowell & Alexander Siddig.

SPEED RACER
A young man with an extraordinary aptitude for motor racing enters the cross-country race that killed his brother, with the backing of his petrol-head family. Family action starring Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci, Susan Sarandon, John Goodman & Matthew Fox, directed by the Wachowski Brothers.

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS
Two people, who got married in Las Vegas after a drunken night together, collide after one of them wins a huge casino slot-machine jackpot after playing the other's coin. Comedy starring Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher, Rob Corddry & Lake Bell.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS OSAMA BIN LADEN?
Morgan Spurlock tours the Middle East in search of Osama Bin Laden, discussing the issue with Arabic people. Documentary.

THE BARON 1.3

Mike Reid

19 January 1940 – 29 July 2007

The final part of The Baron (broadcast nearly a year to the day since filming) wasn't much to get excited about. The three-part series hasn't been must-see television, but it had an eccentric charm and entertained with its central clash of anarchy-meets-religion in Malcolm McLaren's blasphemous schoolboy behaviour. Sadly, Malcolm was forced into exile last week (after publically calling Jesus "a sausage"), and despite the cameras following him around the outskirts of Gardenstown, exaggerating his story to other "outcasts", the show consequently lost its bite...

Mike and Suzanne became the only remaining competitors for the title of Baron(ness), and the show once again revolved around them doing a bare minimum to win votes. Mike seems crippled by a genuine lack of creativity (content to just wander around doing his man-of-the-people act until forced otherwise), while Suzanne was distracted by the arrival of her baby boy and boyfriend (J.K – or was it Joel? – formerly of Radio 1).

Both did manage to take delivery of a package of campaign posters, rosettes and badges, so marched around the village to turn the place yellow (Suzanne) and green (Mike). But Suzanne was more happy when gossiping to villagers who hadn't heard the news about Malcolm's shock exile. Meanwhile, Mike took to covering up Suzanne's posters and scribbling beards and glasses on her photo.

The search for a Baron struck me as daft since day 1. I don't know what ITV did to persuade Gardenstown that hosting a reality show around their search for a new Baron would be a good idea, but it probably involved a hefty donation to one of the many churches. All three celebs never looked totally comfortable, although I came to believe Mike Reid was genuine enough. As he rightly pointed out, can you really see Suzanne bothering to travel from London to north-east Scotland to open fetes and really invest some time? No. The only half-way decent option for the villagers was Mike: who had the time to give to the village.

So how cruel that once Mike won the village election (by a sizeable margin), he sadly passed away just a few months later. The Baron was the last TV project he was involved with, and it was actually quite fitting. After years spent exaggerating his persona as Frank Butcher on EastEnders, at least The Baron gave us a little glimpse of Mike Reid himself. And he came across as a nice bloke.

Considering a chunk of the show's audience were probably tuning in just to see Mike Reid one last time, The Baron slightly fudged the ending. It was nice to close on a heartfelt speech from Mike about Gardenstown and his commitment to the village as its new Baron, but after a fade to black (where legends revealed Mike's passing, and the passing of his title "Baron Of Troup" to wife Shirley), the show made a too-sharp exit. Maybe they didn't have the filmed material to do anything else, but it seemed a bit jarring how everything cut to the closing credits.

Never mind. The Baron was a silly idea that clawed out entertainment value from Malcolm McLaren's butting of heads with the locals, and made a worthwhile send-off for Mike Reid -- showing him as a positive, good-natured, likeable everyman. There was a moment (ruined a bit by jumpy editing) where Mike was told he was more popular with the kids than he expected, as some little boys had been seen chanting his name. He looked genuinely astonished and pleased by the news he wasn't just winning the grey-vote.

It meant a lot to Mike Reid to be liked by people; a fact that perhaps fuelled his career (stand-up comedian, kids gameshow presenter, popular soap character), so how best to go out on TV than by winning a peoples' vote?


8 May 2008
ITV1, 10.40pm

Life On American Mars

The US remake of Life On Mars is likely to be picked up for the 08/09 TV season -- after a Pilot was filmed by ABC last summer, but the project stalled because of the writers' strike. That Pilot was created by David E. Kelley (Ally McBeal), but ABC are now courting Josh Appelbaum, Andrew Nemec and Scott Rosenberg (the team behind mystery drama October Road) to become Mars' showrunners...

It's assumed that Kelley will now leave the project, but he still owns the rights to the US adaptation, so his approval is required for ABC to move ahead...

The US series will once again see a modern-day cop sent back in time to the 1970s. Interestingly, the two leads won't be played by Americans, but Irishmen: Jason O'Mara as Sam Tyler and Colm Meaney (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) as Gene Hunt. Annie Cartwright will be played by Rachelle LeFevre and Stephanie Chaves-Jacobssen (Kendra Shaw in Battlestar Galactica) will play Sam's modern-day lover Maya.

Enchanted (2007)

Director: Kevin Lima
Writer: Bill Kelly

Cast: Amy Adams (Giselle), Patrick Dempsey (Robert Philip), James Marsden (Prince Edward), Timothy Spall (Nathaniel), Rachel Covey (Morgan Philip), Susan Sarandon (Queen Narissa), Idina Menzel (Nancy), Jeff Bennett (Pip, voice) & Kevin Lima (Pip, performance)

A cartoon woman is sent to the real world by a wicked Queen -- where she has to contend with a more cynical reality, and reassess her true love...

There's a fine tradition of "why-didn't-somebody-think-of-this-before?" movies; films that have a brilliant yet obvious premise, in retrospect. Groundhog Day (1994) is perhaps the best example. Well, add Enchanted to the list: a family adventure about an animated Disney princess who's transformed into flesh after she's sent to the real world by an evil queen. Hear that thudding noise? It's the sound of a million people smacking their foreheads in simultaneous anguish...

After an opening narrated by Mary Poppins' Julie Andrews (the first of many, many in-jokes for Disney aficionados*), we're treated to a typically zippy and preposterous fairy tale romance between Giselle and dashing Prince Edward in the forests of Andalasia. They're the kind of wholesomely grinning do-gooders who only exist in cartoons; eternally optimistic, naïve, good-hearted and able to sing to each other without every discussing the lyrics beforehand.

Of course, Edward's evil mother Queen Narissa isn't happy about her handsome son marrying Giselle, so she pushes the betrothed girl down a magic portal – sending her to a "real world" where there are "no happily ever afters". Giselle clambers out of a New York City sewer, transformed into the alluring shape of Amy Adams. It's a great fish-out-of-water scenario, as the innocent and sweet-natured Giselle tries to find her way around this alien concrete jungle, astonished when a homeless drunk tries to snatch her tiara, having to avoid honking traffic, being swept along by bustling commuters, etc.

Eventually, Giselle is taken in by handsome divorce lawyer Robert Philip (Grey's Anatomy's Patrick Dempsey), after his fairy-tale obsessed daughter Morgan (Rachel Covey) becomes convinced Giselle is a real princess in need of help. Needless to say, the romantic aspect is provided by Robert gradually succumbing to Giselle's winsome nature, after initially convincing himself she must be mentally ill.

Matters are complicated by the arrival in NYC of Giselle's talking chipmunk friend Pip (who becomes mute CGI in the real world); her egotistical prince charming Edward (James Marsden) on a brave rescue mission; Queen Narissa's ratty henchman Nathaniel (Timothy Spall), who arrives to kill Giselle with a poison apple; and the fact Robert is already engaged to likeable Nancy (Idina Menzel).

The premise is high-concept brilliance, but it's the actors who really make it fly. Adams has been around for almost a decade now, but this should prove to be her "breakthrough" (not her Oscar nod for Junebug.) She's pitch-perfect as a beautiful, upbeat, optimistic princess-to-be. Essentially Snow White brought to life, scenes like her magically orchestrating wildlife to help clean Robert's messy apartment (whilst whistling a cheery song) leave you with a daft grin. It might stretch plausibility when Giselle likewise inspires bystanders in Central Park to launch into a song-and-dance routine, but it's still entertaining – and that's what matters. Adams finds the heart of the character and Giselle's maturation from one-dimensional cartoon to three-dimensional human being is a delight to watch.

I'm not very familiar with Patrick Dempsey, but he's also very good as the down-to-earth lawyer who has to burst Giselle's bubble of virtuousness, before eventually coming to believe in the power of a fairy-tale ending. It could have been a cynical, sarcastic and smarmy performance, but Dempsey rises above all that. In a story where the road to true love means ditching two fiancée's in the process, Dempsey has decent material to work with, and the inclusion of a non-irritating child actress as his daughter helps too.

James Marsden (emerging from the shadow of X-Men; see Hairspray) is excellent as the dashing, dim-witted Prince Edward. His matinee idol good-looks give him a real Disney-cartoon splendour and swagger, so you believe he's been ripped from animation. His backhanded compliments to "peasants", coupled with his general bumbling around the Big Apple in pursuit of Giselle, is amusing and endearing.

Timothy Spall is fine as the henchman, playing on his rodent-like looks and aptitude for kid-friendly villainy (see Harry Potter). The only big disappointment performance-wise comes from Susan Sarandon, the eventual fleshy embodiment of Queen Narissa. She arrives late in the story, doesn’t get much to do, does it with little flare, fails to deliver any chills, and is quickly transformed into a big CGI dragon to compensate. Sarandon should have been a safe bet as an evil Queen, but she's out-performed by the hand-drawn version of her character.

It's not all sweetness and light, though. The film does begin to crawl in the middle (for a short while), before the unexpectedly FX-laden finale re-energizes things, while you sense more could have been done with the excellent premise. The humour is also gently amusing at best, with none of the post-modern punch seen in Shrek, and an absence of big belly-laughs.

Kids will eat it up, parents will chuckle along in amusement, but nobody's going to be giggling at memories of Enchanted days later. It's a bit of a shame the gags aren't quite there, as everything else fizzes remarkably well and it will have you wondering why Amy Adams didn't make a splash sooner. She's one to watch.


Walt Disney Pictures
Budget: $85 million
107 minutes

PICTURE: 1.85:1 | SOUND: DD5.1 / SDDS
adisney.go.com/disneyvideos/liveaction/enchanted/

* The nicest touch is how various Disney actresses appear in the film: Paige O'Hara (Belle in Beauty & The Beast) is a soap opera character, Jodi Benson (Ariel in The Little Mermaid) plays Robert's secretary, Judy Kuhn (Pocahontas) is a pregnant woman, and Julie Andrews (Mary Poppins) narrates.

THE APPRENTICE 4 – "Week Seven"

It's The Apprentice Out Of Africa, as Sir Alan Sugar sends the remaining candidates to Marrakesh to do his shopping. 10 items: a mosque-shaped alarm clock (green), a Berber bedspread with silver sequins (cream), slippers (grey), a Santos orange juicer, a blue cactus (specified height), a Kosher chicken, a large cowhide with tail attached, dye, 3 red Akal branded tagines, 2 branded tennis racquets (medium strung), and a deluxe beard trimmer. Just kidding, Big Al...

Sir Alan chose the project managers once again: Lee McQueen for Alpha, leading Sara, Helene, Raef and Lucinda. Jenny Maguire for Renaissance, leading Michael, Alex, Jenny C and Claire.

Lee takes time to plan their strategy and research Sir Alan's list, sourcing all the items before they even leave the hotel. Jenny is raring to go and "get the marbles out of our mouths with the language", as Marrakesh is a Muslim country where French is the first language, so her team head off to the market full of beans.

Alex is soon grumbling again, because Claire keeps butting into his negotiations, believing they're doing a boyfriend/girlfriend role-play. Their team-mates Jenny C and Michael manage to buy a cowhide for a quarter of the asking price: £50. It's an impressive buy, but outdone by Alpha's Raef and Helene – who go to the actual tannery and pick up a cowhide for a measly £15!

You'd think candidates would have realized, in previous tasks and in prior series, that cheating is frowned upon. But it seems Jenny C and Michael can't help being naughty. After arriving at a sports store to get some medium-strung tennis rackets, they're irked to find rivals Lucinda, Sara and Lee are already there. So, how best to deal with the situation? That's right, try and bribe the staff into delaying their tennis racket till tomorrow. Nice. Fortunately it doesn't work, as the shop assistant politely turns down their cash offer.

But the real fiasco this week concerns the kosher chicken. It's not a problem for Alpha, who find a Jewish quarter of town and buy one easily. But half-Jewish Michael and Jenny M (who doesn't really understand what "kosher" means) spend hours looking for the item, before finding two guys with live birds for sale. After some difficulties in communication, Michael and Jenny M agree that the chicken is kosher after the butcher kills it and blesses it.

As usual, there's scramble for some of the trickier items, and some stupid mistakes. Jenny M accidentally purchased a white mosque-shaped alarm clock, forgetting that it has to be green. To avoid a penalty, they rush around trying to get a green/verde one... and eventually succeed. Renaissance try to get an orange juicer, but the shops are closing for prayers. Luckily, locals keen to make some cash help them out – and a second-hand juicer is found.

The task is over. Sir Alan is back in London, so he gets the results from eyes-and-ears Nick and Margaret. Alpha got all the items, with no penalties, for £413.61. Renaissance got all the items, but incurred two penalties and two disallowed items, turning their £449.60 spend into £603.59. Lee's team have won and spend the next day in a hot-air balloon above Leeds Castle.

The next day, Jenny M's Renaissance arrive in the boardroom to explain themselves to Sir Alan. He's very disappointed by the penalties and especially the misunderstanding over what kosher chicken is. Jenny C, who's 36 today, admits she's never heard the term before. "I'm flabbergasted!" he says.

Michael is next up for a mauling, as Sir Alan quotes from his CV that he's "a good Jewish boy" – but one who apparently doesn't know what kosher means! Michael admits it was a fiasco, but claims he's only half-Jewish (indeed, he crossed himself before entering the boardroom, so his religious background seems mixed!) Sir Alan can't believe "intelligent people" have made this kind of blunder, summarizing their exploits as ""running around like headless chickens, the whole day."

Jenny C tests his patience with the way she seems to soak up whatever he says and then twist his words into a way to attack her team-mates. Surprisingly, Sir Alan turns to her, saying ""you've tried to lay the blame on your team-mates you were running around with. It's no good. Jenny, you're fired. Goodbye." Birthday girl Jenny C leaves, despondent – but Sir Alan's not done yet...

Jenny M labels Claire a "Tasmanian devil" for the way she goes about things, jumping onto Alex's ire about how Claire butted into his negotiations. After hearing about Michael and Jenny C's underhanded attempts to sabotage Alpha with the tennis rackets, she brands him a "liar and cheat". Michael admits he made a mistake, and Sir Alan comes to think Michael's problems stemmed from being young and a bit too over-enthusiastic.

"If that's the kind of person you have in your company then fire me now", says Jenny C. After putting her own head on the block rather stupidly, Sir Alan leaps on the opportunity, saying "most mistakes this team has made have come from someone who I believe is out of control. Jennifer, you're fired!"

The run-around-shopping task is one of my favourites on the show, but the foreign setting seemed to overshadow things slightly, whilst not proving particularly troublesome for the teams. Most people seemed to speak pretty good English, so my hopes for a troublesome language barrier didn't really come into play. That said, the idiocy with the kosher chicken and the dumb attempt to sabotage a team's tennis racket were notable highlights.

Most of the episode seemed to take place in the boardroom, which I was very happy about. I love the boardroom stuff and the uneasiness between Sir Alan and the losers. Did you see him rankle when everyone chimed "Bonjour!" as he entered the room? Yet for all his grumpiness, Sir Alan had some good dry comments, particularly when suggesting Michael should drop his trousers so they can confirm his Jewish ethnicity.

The two Jenny's were never going to win, although Jenny C had improved from her worrying bitchiness in the first 2 weeks, so had more of a chance than Jenny M. From the beginning she's been aloof and cold -- with her blood-red lipstick on pallid feline face, mewling about how people conspired against her in that slightly-irritating Irish accent. I'm glad both have gone, as both dug their own graves and deserved to go.

And I loved Nick and Margaret in the boardroom, discussing Michael's error with the kosher chicken as the candidates waited outside. Nick whispering to Margaret: "I'm a Catholic. You're a Protestant. We know what kosher is and Michael doesn't! He did classics at Edinburgh." Margaret coolly responds "Edinburgh... isn't what it was", whilst turning her head to glance into the camera (accidentally, I think, but it almost seemed intended to rile the Scots). Very funny.

Now that we're into the second half of the show, how are people shaping up?

Lee McQueen: I want to think cool Steve McQueen when I hear his name, but I instead think of saddo Les McQueen from League Of Gentlemen. I liked his working class straight-talking in the early weeks, but he's too confrontational, loud and crude now. He has plenty of passion and drive, but he's rough and reckless with it.

Lucinda: She did surprisingly well when she led a task, but I just can't see her lasting the distance. She's too nicey-nice and a bit of a kook.

Sara: A dark horse? She hasn't been given the chance to prove herself, so if she aces being a project leader in the next few weeks, she stands a chance of getting into the final three. Rightly, or wrongly.

Helene: I've forgotten she's on the show! Bad editing, or was she really only ever interesting because of her little spats with Lucinda? She needs to step out of the shadow that's falling over her.

Raef: My favourite. Cool, calm, collected, honourable, decent. He looks the part, he sounds the part. The only problem for Raef will be whether Sir Alan thinks he's really "apprentice material" – as I get the impression he likes people with less obvious swagger (like last year's winner Simon). Raef's a bit too polished, perhaps. Why does he need Sir Alan's mentorship?

Michael: Yeah, he cocked up the kosher thing this week. That was embarrassing for him, being half-Jewish. He might be in with a shout at winning, but he should tone down the arrogance.

Alex: Fire him! Dull, dull, dull. All he does is grumble, and even when it's justified I find him irritating because of it. And he's not even that good at anything, is he?

Claire: She's this year's Ruth Badger. On the surface it's all there, but there's an antagonistic streak that might prove difficult to work with. And let's not forget she auditioned for Big Brother (apparently), so she's possibly got an eye on the fame that comes with winning. Or just likes being on TV. Maybe that's unfair, as she does seem genuine and committed – but can you imagine working with her?


7 May 2008
BBC1, 9.00 pm

MOONLIGHT 1.12 – "The Mortal Cure"

Writer: Chip Johannessen
Director: Eric Laneuville

Cast: Alex O'Loughlin (Mick St. John), Sophia Myles (Beth Turner), Shannyn Sossamon (Coraline), Jason Dohring (Josef Kostan), David Merheb (Brother), Jason Butler Harner (Lance), Meredith Monroe (Cynthia), Bitsie Tulloch (Celeste), Christopher Stapleton (Officer), Lonnie Hughes (Clarence Brown), Charley Rossman (Security Guard), David Blue (Logan), Jeremy Forte (Scientist), Tasha Tae (Hostess), Jill Latiano (The Cleaner), Marques Johnson (Minister) & John Everlove (Paramedic)

Mick investigates Coraline's disappearance from hospital. Meanwhile, while putting Josh's affairs in order, Beth discovers evidence that her dead boyfriend was cheating on her...

"I've wanted to feel human for a long time, but I forgot how painful it can be."

-- Mick St. John (Alex O'Loughlin)

Originally intended as the season finale, the earlier-than-expected end to the writers' strike meant another 4 episodes were pushed into production. Regardless, The Mortal Cure is the climax of the cure for vampirism plot-line that's informed half the season on the back of vamp-ex Coraline's (Shannyn Sossamon) return...

I expected big things with the reveal about Coraline and her apparent ability to reverse vampirism, but the answers presented by writer/exec-producer Chip Johannessen don't completely satisfy. Mick (Alex O'Loughlin) investigates the disappearance of Coraline from her hospital bed, quickly discovering via CCTV footage that she was smuggled out by fanged friend Cynthia (Meredith Monroe). Mick also has to contend with the sudden arrival of two ancient bloodsuckers, one-eyed Lance (Jason Butler Harner) and his stocky brother (David Merheb), who are also trying to find Coraline as she's "taken something from me." Your eye?

After interrupting a game of pool to discuss the issues with Josef (Jason Dohring), who only knows that Lance is a troublesome ancient European vampire, Mick eventually traces Coraline down to a makeshift lab – where she's involved in experiments to increase the effectiveness of the cure for vampirism, using something called "the compound" she stole from Lance. Ah, it wasn't his eye then.

Meanwhile, Beth (Sophia Myles) is still giving Mick the cold shoulder after he refused to turn Josh into a vampire and instead allowed him to die from his gunshot wounds. For once, their storylines are entirely separate, as Beth comes to suspect Josh was cheating on her before his untimely death. She meets Celeste (Bitsie Tulloch), "the other woman" Josh had arranged to meet, arriving bitter and angry at a restaurant, only to discover Celeste's a jeweller hired to reset Josh's grandmother's diamond in an engagement ring he was going to propose with.

Lance discovers Coraline's lab, effortlessly decapitating her vampire scientist assistant (icky and more explicit than usual), before Mick manages to surprise him and save Coraline's life. During their struggle, Lance's hand is set alight – but Mick is amazed to see the blistered burns heal themselves almost immediately. He's knocked unconscious before he can ask questions, allowing Lance and his brother to whisk Coraline away..

Later that night, Coraline returns to Mick's apartment and reveals what's been going on, via flashbacks: during the French Revolution there were 7 siblings of royal blood who were also vampires. During a "reign of terror" (1793 – 1794), where vampires were regularly being exposed and killed (burnt at the stake or decapitated by guillotine), the royal vamps created a compound that could temporarily mask the traits of their vampirism, allowing them to survive the 9-month genocide. Lance and his brother were two of the 7 siblings. Coraline stole the compound to try and extend its effectiveness. Excited by the idea of being human again, Mick asks if he can try some of the compound on himself, and Coraline agrees. She opens a wound on his forearm and applies the mix to the cut. Within minutes Mick is feeling more human as his vampire powers dim.

Unfortunately, Lance and his brother attack them both outside and Mick is physically unable to put up much of a fight – although he does manage to stake Lance's brother. As Mick lies beaten on the floor, it's revealed that Coraline is also part of the royal vamps (the only daughter of the 7 siblings) and her family are angry she stole their precious compound and continued their bloodline with Mick without permission. Coraline agrees to go with them, but only if they leave Mick alone. They agree to her terms, paralyze her with a stake through the chest, and carry her off...

After a night spent sampling food for the first time in 5 decades and an uncomfortable sofa to sleep on, Mick joins Beth at Josh's funeral in the morning with a badly bruised face, revealing to her that he's now mortal. For the time being.

The Mortal Cure is good, but disappointing. The idea of linking Coraline's history to the French Revolution was good fun, but it wasn't explained how Coraline survived being burned alive by Mick -- although I suspect she has similar rapid-regenerative abilities as her brother demonstrated, so I can let that slide. But shouldn't Mick be similarly powerful if he's in the royal bloodline?

Coraline walking back into Mick's life, pretending to by a photographer called Morgan, now seems a bit pointless and silly, though. Why did she bother doing that? It was a mind-fuck for Mick, sure -- but was that a worthwhile act of revenge for him "killing" her? Why did she kidnap Beth as a little girl? And where's she been for the past half-century years? She doesn't seem particularly upset with Mick now either, or jealous about his relationship with adult Beth. I suppose more answers will be forthcoming, but I'd hoped her cure for vampirism would be closer connected to her fiery survival and mysterious return. But the script instead veered off into rewriting French history with a vampire slant.

Beth was sidelined throughout the episode, which seemed strange as this was intended as a season finale and she's Moonlight's co-star! But I don't like Myles when she's being dour and serious – it just doesn't work for me. She's a decent actress, but she often looks a bit lost and unsure whenever she has to deal with subdued, complex emotions. She's much better at the upbeat, plucky, starry-eyed stuff.

Shannyn Sossamon was okay, but there wasn't really much for her to do. Her biggest scene was basically to explain the whole mystery while sitting on a sofa as some flashbacks played. Indeed, a lot of this episode's investigation didn't amount to much. Mick got half his leads from another convenient computer wiz, and had the big mystery explained to him by Coraline, all while getting more unhelpful words of warning/advice from playboy Josef.

Maybe I'm approaching Moonlight with expectations that are too high. It's a fairly light and sugary romantic drama with a supernatural twist, and this episode worked fine on that level. I shouldn't expect too much from a show that has Mick narrate lines like "she's a vampire" when Coraline shows her fangs. Does the show have to treat its audience like lobotomized idiots, or do the writers really think most viewers won't be au fait with horror/fantasy TV shows? The voice-overs really are surplus to requirements a lot of the time, serving only to beat audiences over the head with information, or make a few sly wise-cracks. They can be used well; but not here.

Still, for the most part this was an entertaining climax to a major storyline that left things on a decent cliffhanger regarding Coraline and her powerful dynasty. And we did get some answers to some big questions, even if other questions seem to have been left by the wayside. For now.

I've grown to really like Alex O'Loughlin's measured performances, even if he's rarely stretched by the scripts, and Moonlight's decision to embrace its mythology and character relationships definitely boosted the second half of the season. And I hope Mick remains human for a little while longer, as that should be amusing and interesting to see play out...


6 May 2008
LivingTV, 10.00 pm