Yvonne Strahovski... does Maxim!

Sorry everyone, but you'll have to indulge my Yvonne Strahovski obsession once again. I say "obsession", but it's more a "slight preoccupation". Anyway, I think Yvonne's about to break-out into the mainstream next year (no offence to Chuck, which made her a star), as she's now doing a glossy Maxim magazine photoshoot. Remember when only women's health magazines bothered to put her on their cover? Those days are thankfully long gone...

You can watch Maxim's behind-the-scenes video embedded above, which is interspersed with a fun little interview with Yvonne about the "French porn mansion" they're shooting at, plus a few details concerning her role in Jason Statham's Killer Elite movie. Sadly, it appear she won't be putting any of her fighting skills to good use, but she still manages to look pretty foxy in a pair of old country boots, no?

CHUCK returns to NBC on 21 October. (There, that officially makes this post on-topic.)

Update: Here are the actual photos from the shoot...

You can realign your jaw now.

BREAKING BAD, 4.8 - "Hermanos"

This was an incredible episode, finally shining a spotlight on mysterious druglord Gustavo Fring (Giancarlo Esposita), a purveyor of fried chicken whose own feathers can't be ruffled. After last week's provocative ending, with Hank (Dean Norris) giving his DEA boss compelling evidence that may link Gale's murder to Gus's fast-food chain, the tension was thick in the air as Gus was called in for questioning by the police. But Gus is a practiced and exceptionally composed liar, managing to give the DEA convincing and plausible reasons for knowing Gale (a kindhearted chemistry scholar he befriended) and his lack of documentation before becoming a US citizen in 1989 (Chile's government under Pinochet were notoriously bad record-keepers). Questions neatly deflected under pressure, the only visible sign of Gus's anxiety was a nervous tapping of his finger while in the elevator home, the pinging of each passing level not dissimilar to Hector's infamous wheelchair bell...

Ah yes, Hector, aka Tio (Mark Margolis). The crippled uncle of druglord Tuco and the infamous "Cousins" from Mexico, all now killed during various skirmishes. This episode fleshed-out the relationship between Gus and Tio, which is very much a competitive hatred. In his '80s prime, Tio was the right-hand man of Mexican cartel boss Don Eladio (Scarface's Steven Bauer), present when Gus and his best-friend Max Arciniega pitched their business idea to cook methamphetamine for Don Eladio, convinced it's a highly profitable drug that's going to succeed the trend for cocaine. The business plan of the "chicken brothers" was bold and convincing, but Don Eladio felt Gus and Max have manipulated him into a meeting by giving his men "samples" of their meth to get his attention, prompting Tio to shoot Max in the head and force Gus to watch him bleed out into Don Eladio's swimming pool. (A startling moment, if slightly predictable because the teaser unwisely gave us an unnecessary shot of a blood cloud staining water...)

This meeting was obviously a harsh lesson for Gus, and an event that's informed his every step since. We already know he started a scholarship in Max's name, but his personality also toughened into icy professionalism, together with a determination to outsmart the drug cartel that killed his friend, meth-cook and business partner. It's not known what happened to Don Eladio yet, but Tio perhaps helped Eladio's successor Juan Bolsa until his poor health forced him into a backseat role—and he's spent the past few decades watching as the "chicken man" built a successful drug empire over the border, using the crystal meth business model Eladio ridiculed. Or did Don Eladio act on Gus's persuasive argument, which further infuriated Gus and created a competitor he wanted to beat?

Gus learned to take control of his life for himself, basically, which is also Walt's (Bryan Cranston) outlook in the wake of his cancer, knowing it's only a matter of time before a health check gives him bad news. In some ways Walt is in Gus's position 20 years ago, with Gale's death perhaps a catalyst similar to Max's assassination. Gus has become the Don Eladio figure with Mike (Jonathan Banks) as his Tio, with Walt and Jesse (Aaron Paul) perhaps an amalgam of Gus and Max. But while Walt would like to think he's taking control of his life nowadays, he's still very much in Gus's pocket and knows he's in no position to upset the status quo without the help of Jesse in poisoning him. Speaking of which, after Walt saw Jesse's text-message about an aborted meeting with Gus, it's likely Walt will stop trusting his closest ally. But it's not that Jesse doesn't want Gus dead, it's just that he's scared to take such action—out of fear for what the punishment will be if he's caught, and the fact he doesn't want any more blood on his hands.

One standout scene found Walt and Hank parked outside the Los Pollos Hermanos restaurant, Walt quietly racked with fear that his personal and professional lives are about to collide. Hank's now alone with his theory about Gus and wanted Walt's help to attach a GPS tracker to Gus's car... an act of treachery that Walt decided against, alerting Gus to the situation inside the restaurant, to then be given permission to install the bug with Gus's awareness. Walt knows that his brother-in-law's investigation can only end in disaster for him, as he's involved with Gus's operation, but also knows that it's possible Gus will seek to eliminate Hank now he's onto him. The best he can do is implore Gus (via surveillance camera back at the Superlab) to let him steer Hank away from his business, as killing Hank would only draw attention his way considering Hank's belief that Gus is "Heisenberg". He has a point, and after Mike tells Gus that Hank's operating alone, it seems that Gus can afford to put that problem to one side... or can he? As Mike says, having to deal with the unruly Mexican cartel without arousing suspicion from Hank isn't going to be easy... or perhaps even possible.

There was only one other scene of significance, with Saul (Bob Odenkirk) visiting Jesse's ex-girlfriend Andrea (Emily Rios) and her young son Brock (Ian Posada), who are now living in a spacious home that Jesse's paying for. This suggest their story isn't done, and they offer another escape for Jesse to a normal life, but right now Jesse's in so state-of-mind to even see them in person. I'm not sure I'm pleased to see Andrea back on the show, as she felt too much like a plot-device last season, and I'm not convinced otherwise yet. Maybe her character will surprise me if the writers commit to turning her into something other than a token girlfriend figure.

Overall, "Hermanos" was an excellent episode that deepened and tightened all the storylines in play. Gus is now a slightly sympathetic figure, just as trapped by his decisions as Walt is; Jesse's been proven a liar by Walt, who perhaps now knows he'll have to poison Gus himself; and Hank's once again on the right trail, but forced to go rogue, and could be about to wander into the crossfire between Gus and the cartel. I'm still predicting the death of Gus as this season's big climax, but is it possible the writers will shock us all by killing off Hank? Or, given the return of Tio's "blood for blood" motto (used as reasoning for Gus killing his cousins), will Walt Jr somehow find himself in the firing line if the cartel discover Walt's the master cook behind Gus's business?

Superb episode of a brilliant season; ridiculously excited to see what happens next, as control freak Gus finds himself squeezed in three directions. Will he snap?

Asides

• The White's and Schrader's really do love having dinner together this season! I suppose it's a good way to utilize characters like Marie (Besty Brandt) and Walt Jr (RJ Mitte), who otherwise tend to get forgotten about, and can now deliver some tension because the two families are on opposite sides of the law.
• Don Eladio spared Gus's life only because he "knows who he is". Does that suggest Gus was an important person in Chile, or comes from an influential or respected family?
• Gus tells Tio that he's defied the cartel's ultimatum, but we still have no idea what that was. Any suggestions?
• I was wondering what Gus's words to Hector mean. "Is today the day, Hector? Look at me." A taunt designed to echo how he was forced to look at Max's dead body all those years ago? Or something else?

written by Sam Catlin & George Mastras / directed by Johan Renck / 4 September 2011 / AMC

TRUE BLOOD, 4.11 - "Soul Of Fire"

Well, they could hardly title it "Ring Of Fire", as that brings to mind the act of passing spicy diarrhea. Then again, that would be surprisingly appropriate description for True Blood's recent output. Season 4 started weakly, pulled things back for a decent trio of episodes mid-season, but has now fallen flat on its fanged face. As penultimate episodes go, "Soul Of Fire" was mostly very poor indeed. I'm boring myself by reiterating the same basic points every week, but suffice to say the writers seem to be making this stuff up on the fly, and it's resulted in a show that's ragged, unwieldy and ridiculous.

Were you excited to learn where head witch Marnie (Fiona Shaw) had teleported Sookie (Anna Paquin) and her friends last week? The utterly disappointing answer: indoors, a few yards away form their last position. Why were Bill (Stephen Moyer) and Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) suddenly willing to trust Marnie that she'd release Sookie if they killed each other? Did anyone have even the slightest pang of fear for Jason's (Ryan Kwanten) life when he suffered third-degree burns, knowing that vampire blood heals all wounds? Why was Marnie suddenly powerful enough to bind Antonia's soul to her own, having been written as a bumbling halfwit until now? Why did Sookie agree to participate in the ritual to defeat her vampire friends outside? Why does her telepathy only work when the story demands it? Why has Pam's (Kristin Bauer) rotten flesh not returned after her temporary cosmetic surgery fix? And did I miss the subtext that werewolf packmaster Marcus has been attracted to Debbie (Britt Morgan) all these weeks?

I'm sure some of the above has an explanation, or stubborn fans can create one that adequately patches a problem, but that's not really the point. The trouble is, I spent most of this episode with a furrowed brow, unconvinced by the direction things were going, and completely disappointed by how the show wasted the "witches versus vampires" idea (a battle of wits that peaked four weeks ago). True Blood's a series of entertaining moments and gruesome fripperies (the best here being Eric plucking a man's heart from his chest and drinking from it like a juice box), but it's just not enough. The stories are so undisciplined and haphazard I can't buy into anything that goes on, because the show's taught me nothing has an effective or consistent arc. There are about two relevant storylines every season that never end well, a half-dozen subplots to disguise the fact there's only really enough pertinent story for five episodes, and sex/nudity bread-crumbed drizzled over everything to give 'shippers something to screengrab.

I raised an eyebrow that Marnie was defeated in this episode, with the help of Jesus' black magic, because I was foolishly intrigued to see what next week's finale could bring without the season's big villain. Unfortunately, it's going to be Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) reprising his effeminate acting style, as Marnie's soul has entered him while he slept. The finale now promises a climactic battle between two gay lovers, one possessed by the spirit of a hippy witch? Lord have mercy on our souls.

Oh, and Sheriff Andy (Chris Bauer) had al fresco sex with a fairy, because the show remembered it actually began this season promising us fairies, and what else is there for Andy to do on the show now? Still, the guy got laid, so maybe he'll snap out of his funk now.

I despair, I really do.

written by Mark Hudis / directed by Michael Lehmann / 4 September 2011 / HBO

TV Picks: 5-11 September 2011 (Big Brother, Bin Laden: Shoot To Kill, The Chase, Happy Endings, Mock The Week, Perfect Couples, QI, Real Hustle, Strictly Come Dancing, Would I Lie To You?, etc.)

QI - BBC2, Friday, 10PM

MONDAY 5th

The Alan Titchmarsh Show (ITV1, 3pm) Return of the weekday chatshow, starting with guests Amanda Holden, Ben Fogle & The Saturdays.
The Chase (ITV1, 5pm) Series 4 of the general knowledge gameshow. Hosted by Bradley Walsh.
Ground Zero Mosque (Channel 4, 8pm) Documentary about the story of a proposed mosque two blocks away from the scene of the 9/11 World Trade Center attacks.
Royal Navy: Submarine Mission (Channel 5, 8pm) Documentary about the HMS Turbulent and its crew. (1/3)
PICK OF THE DAY The Real Hustle: New Recruits (BBC3, 8.30pm) Return of the scams and cons series, with two new presenters in Polly Parsons & Jazz Lintott.
How Facebook Changed The World: The Arab Spring (BBC2, 9pm) Documentary about how modern technology played a part in Middle Eastern revolutions started by the younger generations.
9/11: Emergency Room (Channel 4, 9pm) Documentary about the work of the emergency services during 9/11.
Hollyoaks Later (E4, 10pm) Series 4 of the late-night version of soap Hollyoaks. (1/5)
Jamie's Kitchen Australia (Good Food, 10pm) Reality show where popular chef Jamie Oliver tries to start one of his successful restaurants, that only employ disadvantaged youths, in Australia.

TUESDAY 6th

Catch Me If You Can: Armed Robbers (BBC1, 9pm) Crimewatch special on armed robbers. Narrated by Philip Glenister.
Adopting Abroad: Saira's Story (BBC2, 9pm) Documentary on Apprentice star Saira Khan's attempt to adopt a girl from a Pakistan orphanage. Concludes Thursday. (1/2)
Don't Tell The Bride (BBC3, 9pm) Series 5 of the wedding series where the groom organized the ceremony in secret. (1/13)
Mercury Prize: Live (BBC2, 10pm) Coverage of the music ceremony at the Grosvenor House Hotel, where one of 12 nominees will win the prestigious Mercury Award. Presented by Lauren Laverne.
PICK OF THE DAY The Twins Of The Twin Towers (BBC2, 10.35pm) Documentary featuring accounts from various twins involved in the 9/11 atrocity.

WEDNESDAY 7th

Brick City (Sky Atlantic, 8pm) Documentary on life in Newark, largest city of New Jersey. (1/5)
Natural World: Animal House (BBC2, 8pm) Wildlife documentary on animals that build structures. Narrated by Sir David Attenborough.
Storyville: Law Of The Dragon (BBC4, 8.30pm) Documentary series, beginning with a look at the work of a mobile Chinese court that travels to remote areas of the country. (1/4)
PICK OF THE DAY Bin Laden: Shoot To Kill (Channel 4, 9pm) Documentary on the successful secret mission to kill Osama Bin Laden, featuring an interview with President Obama.
Claire Richards: Slave To Food (Sky Living, 9pm) Documentary on ex-popstar Claire Richards and her battle with her weight.

THURSDAY 8th

Perfect Couples (E4, 8.30pm) Season 1 of the US sitcom about three couples at different stages of a relationship. Starring David Walton, Hayes MacArthur, Kyle Bornheimer & Olivia Munn. (1/12)
9/11: The Conspiracy Road Trip (BBC3, 9pm) Documentary on the various conspiracy theories that surround 9/11. Presented by comedian Andrew Maxwell.
PICK OF THE DAY Happy Endings (E4, 9.30pm) Season 1 of the US comedy about four friends who are divided when one of them is jilted by his bride-to-be. Starring Eliza Coupe, Elisha Cuthbert, Zachary Kingdom, Adam Pelly & Damon Wayons Jr. (1/15)
Mock The Week (BBC2, 10pm) Series 10 of the satirical panel show continues. (7/12)
Question Time (BBC1, 10.35pm) Return of the political Q&A series, beginning with a special on 9/11. Presented by David Dimbleby.

FRIDAY 9th

Would I Lie To You? (BBC1, 9.30pm) Series 5 of the truth-or-lie comedy panel show. Hosted by Rob Brydon with team captains David Mitchell & Lee Mack. Guests are Rebecca Front, Jack Whitehall, Nick Hewer & Miranda Hart. (1/8)
Big Brother 2011: Live Launch (Channel 5, 9.30pm) Following the end of the three-week celebrity edition, this year's regular Big Brother begins.
PICK OF THE DAY QI (BBC2, 10pm) Series 9 (or Series I) of the trivia comedy panel show. Hosted by Stephen Fry. (1/16)

SATURDAY 10th

PICK OF THE DAY Strictly Come Dancing 2011 (BBC1, 6.10pm) Series 9 of the celebrity dance competition launches. Starring Bruce Forsythe & Tess Daly, with judges Len Goodman, Bruno Tonioli, Alisha Dixon & Craig Revel-Horwood.

SUNDAY 11th

Holding Out For A Hero (ITV1, 7pm) Quiz show where members of the public compete to reward a hero. Presented by Gethin Jones. (1/7)
PICK OF THE DAY Operation Crossbow (ITV1, 8pm) Documentary on Spitfire pilots and Allied technicians who helped thwart the Nazis during WWII.

Review: RED OR BLACK? (ITV1)

This Simon Cowell-produced gameshow was inspired by the real story of Ashley Revell, a British man who sold everything he owned to gamble the resulting $135,000 on the spin of a roulette wheel in Las Vegas back in 2004. Red Or Black? taps into that story's simplicity, as 100,000 contestants are whittled down over the course of 10 simple games with a 50/50 outcome.

Beginning in a huge arena for a pre-recorded stunt (e.g. daredevil bikers jumping through a gap of decreasing size), or outside on location (e.g. a giant bungee-catapult stunt next to Battersea Power Station), thousands are eventually reduced to a handful of people who get to appear live in the studio, playing more intimate games with a "red or black" outcome. Eventually, one lucky person remains and gets to spin an enormous roulette wheel, watching a clattering white ball decides if they walk away with a cool £1 million... or nothing.

There's no denying this all makes for exciting TV, but one ingredient's been overlooked by Cowell's creative team: unlike in Ashley Revell's true story, there's no actual gambling involved. Every contestant has literally nothing to lose. So there are no stakes. No cash is rewarded over the course of the 10 games, so it's quite simply a case of blind luck. Gameshows like Deal Or No Deal? may get flak for "dumbing down" the gameshow genre, but Deal at least plays into people's sense of judgement and greed. In Red Or Black? there's literally nothing to lose, but everything to gain.

It's still fun and entertaining, of course, partly because it all costs £15 million to stage (making it the world's most expensive gameshow), and is therefore a definite spectacle. But considering how episode 1 already saw the jackpot won by bricklayer Nathan Hageman, has it peaked too early? How interesting will it be to see people choose "red" or "black" at random, guessing their way through various games to become a lucky millionaire, or leave empty-handed? I'm not sure.

Right now, Red Or Black? is a finely-tuned extravaganza that makes for perfect "event television" for the late-summer: likable Ant & Dec are the hosts, the stunts/games are entertaining and unusual, there's some X Factor/Britain's Got Talent cross-promotion (David Hasselhoff and Louis Walsh appeared), it has live music (X Factor superstar Leona Lewis), and nobody can deny that final roulette wheel spin isn't a masterclass of televised tension. Watching a white ball clatter around, occasionally sitting in a losing colour, before being spun clear to find a home in the winning colour, had my fingernails buried deep in my sofa.

Red Or Black? continues most evenings till next Saturday (a similar schedule to how Channel 4 serve up their own big-money gameshow Million Pound Drop), so they could possibly create seven millionaires over its run. Or, more likely, three or four. Who knows? It's random! It's luck! It's coin tosses in multi-million pound clothing. Despite all that, I really enjoyed it and I'll be watching more, but I also can't help thinking it's a mistake to have ditched the gambling component. If each contestant was winning money per game, eventually ending up with something like £50,000 and the chance to risk it all for £1,000,000, wouldn't that be more exciting? Or would it be too unlikely anyone would ever gamble £50,000 in this economic climate?

ITV1; 3-5 & 7-10 September 2011

COMEDY SHOWCASE: Chickens

written by Simon Bird, Joe Thomas & Jonny Sweet; directed by Steve Bendelack
starring Simon Bird, Joe Thomas & Jonny Sweet

It's the return of Channel 4's Comedy Showcase season, where six pilot comedies are broadcast and, in theory, the best are promoted to series. In practice, Channel 4 have long decided which ones will be picked up, which rather defeats the whole enterprise. I think they're missing a trick in not turning this show into a phone vote democracy, to decide which installments go beyond a pilot, but that's something I've talked about before..

Kicking off this third series we have wartime sitcom Chickens, perfectly-timed because two of its three leads (Simon Bird, Joe Thomas) are currently starring in the UK's Number 1 box-office smash The Inbetweeners Movie. Chickens, written by Bird and Thomas with mutual friend Jonny Sweet, is a period sitcom about three friends who decide not to fight in The Great War, opting to instead stay behind in their idyllic English village of Rittle-on-Sea. We meet Cecil (Bird), who can't join the army because of flat feet; George (Thomas), a pacifist who refuses to go to war for religious reasons; and Bert (Sweet), an alleged "conscientious objector" who's really just a frightened spiv. Unfortunately, none of them realized their choice would leave them ostracized by their community; belittled by the older generation (some of whom fought in the Boer War), subjected to graffiti on their cottage, and generally seen as cowardly disappointments.

It's a decent setup for a sitcom, although I have concerns about the longevity of the premise, as there's surely only a finite number of ways you can poke fun at cowardice. Still, I'm always surprised there aren't more British sitcoms taking full advantage of the country's rich history, and this 1914 era certainly allows Bird to play a character who feels different to geeky Will from The Inbetweeners. Will and Cecil may not be polar opposites in terms of personality, but there were enough new flourishes in Bird's performance to please. Thomas isn't quite so lucky, as there's a clearer parallel between George and Simon from The Inbetweeners (both have a strained relationship with an attractive girl). The most memorable performance actually comes from Sweet, whose character is more incorrigible and amusingly objectionable.

Chickens is deserving of a six-episode run, despite the fact this pilot wasn't actually very funny. That would ordinarily be a fatal flaw for a comedy, but I have a feeling the characters just need a while to find their feet, and the show needs more half-hours under its belt to prove there's mileage in its premise. I can see potential in the idea of these three chaps trying to prove their manhood to a village who see them as war-dodging yellow-bellies, as the sounds of battle literally waft over the English Channel most nights from France. It has all the ingredients that tend to make a great British sitcom, so now it just needs more laugh-out-loud moments like the scene where Cecil's spotted accidentally urinating on a freshly-dug grave.

I hope it gets a chance to prove itself.

2 September 2011 / Channel 4

DOCTOR WHO, 6.9 – "Night Terrors"

Writer-actor Mark Gatiss is one of the biggest Whovians around, but his output on his favourite TV show has been questionable. After delivering one of the revival's best early episode ("The Unquiet Dead"), he followed it up with the decidedly weak "Idiot's Lantern" and last year's flop "Victory of The Daleks". Thankfully, "Night Terrors" was a big improvement, although it reminded me so much of previous adventures that its lack of originality prevented it being an all-out success.

The Doctor (Matt Smith) was summoned to a present-day council block by the galaxy-traversing fear of George (Jamie Oram), an eight-year-old boy whose irrational terrors are beginning to worry his bewildered father Alex (Daniel Mays) and mother Claire (Emma Cunniffe). So while George cowers under his bed sheets one night, spooked by passing shadows on his window and the belief that all the world's scariest things are contained in his cupboard, The Doctor arrives posing as a social worker determined to end George's night terrors. At the same time, Amy (Karen Gillan) and Rory (Arthur Darvill) find themselves transported to the inside of a doll's house while using the block's lift, having to fend for themselves against a group of man-sized peg dolls.

"Night Terrors" reminded me a great deal of "The Girl In The Fireplace", minus the romantic subplot and French period garnish. Instead of young woman being terrorized by expressionless automatons, it was a little boy, and the episode even divided the adventure into similar chunks with The Doctor and his two companions. It also started evoking the awful "Fear Her" (where a little girl's drawings came to life), but with George's imagination the culprit instead, with flashes of "The Empty Child". For those reasons, I can't quite bring myself to say "Night Terrors" was anything other than a beautifully creepy and entertaining episode, because there wasn't much fresh about it. The unraveling of the mystery even relied heavily on a Perception Filter; a piece of pseudo-science from Russell T. Davies' era that keeps being recycled to explain any event where people don't see conspicuous things, or have forgotten elements of their own past.

Still, while it wasn't very original, it was all very beautifully done. Oram made for a particularly cute and endearing little boy, Mays was one of the better guest-companions of The Doctor's, and the show's sense of style under Moffat's reign has been exemplary. There were plenty of camera angles that evoked horror movies, such as The Orphanage and Poltergeist, and Gatiss' story was well-told and nicely paced. I especially liked how the episode's scarier moments were always followed by a comical Doctor scene to take the edge off.

Ignoring its similarities to previous tales, the only thing that outright disappointed me was the dull and soppy resolution to everything. And, naturally, the show always struggles with the fact you never feel much jeopardy for anyone but the most incidental of characters (the landlady, the neighbour), but even they were found alive and well by the denouement. It would be nice if, for once, there was some real losses on Doctor Who, as otherwise there's a feeling that it's all just a lark.

Overall, "Night Terrors" isn't going to be anyone's favourite episode ever, but it was a classy and simple installment that Series 6 desperately needed. Moffat's own mytharc has really dominated these nine episodes we've had, so it's nice to have a breather from talk of River Song, The Silence and Madam Kovarian. With this episode's focus on family and council estate setting, it felt very much like something more suited to RTD's era, imbued with the production values of Moffat's era. A good middle ground, then—but it's a pity Gatiss' story was just an effective example of a story we've seen done before.

Asides

• That had to be the cleanest council block I've ever seen. It was the Balamory of council blocks. But then again, Doctor Who's something of a UK fantasyland. George was never going to be living in the block from Misfits, was he.
• Fun callback to Jammie Dodgers, which are now definitely The Eleventh Doctor's version of the Fourth's love of Jelly Babies. Gatiss started this biscuit idiosyncrasy with "Victory Of The Daleks", remember.
• The working title for this episode was "What Are Little Boys Made Of?" which was probably changed because it immediately makes you think something must be "wrong" with George (the only little boy in the story).

written by Mark Gatiss / directed by Richard Clark / 3 September 2011 / BBC1

Next time...

TORCHWOOD: MIRACLE DAY - "The Gathering"

The penultimate episode had its share of unbelievable, ridiculous and stupid moments, but smarter use of its ensemble and a few big reveals went some way toward making this a minor highlight of the miniseries. Maybe it also helps that John Fay (one of only two British writers working on Miracle Day, the other being Russell T. Davies) helped in some indefinable way, because this didn't seem quite so ham-fisted. In particular, the scenes set in Wales with Gwen (Eve Myles) as a Robin Hood figure, stealing expensive medicine for the local community, restored some of the show's eccentric edge that's mostly been lost in favour of dull Americanised procedural.

Um, let's forget how stupid it is that Esther (Alexa Havins) decided to travel to Scotland with the injured Captain Jack (John Barrowman) for no discernible reason; or that paedophile murderer Oswald Danes (Bill Pullman) managed to also hop on a plane to the UK, find where Gwen lives, and pose as a pizza delivery man to get inside her house unchallenged. Both were such horrifically terrible creative decisions that "The Gathering" had to work extra hard to win me over, but it just about managed to, probably because Miracle Day's taught me it's best to overlook the bad and focus on the good. No matter how diluted and clumsy that goodness may be.

We were finally given answers about The Blessing, even if I'm still not sure why PR maven Jilly Kitzinger (Lauren Ambrose) is required to help The Miracle's architects "rewrite history". There was a lot of talk about the media mistranslating Chinese to put a different spin on world events, but as far as I know Jilly's not fluent in Mandarin or any other Chinese dialects.

Still, The Blessing itself was a suitably eerie and unexpected sight: a gigantic underground fissure that bisects the planet from Buenos Aires to Shanghai (hence PhiCorp's logo of a circle with a line through it). This pink subterranean crack is later revealed to literally attract Jack's blood like iron filings to a magnet, but I'm not sure what connects Jack and this cavernous phenomena. Is it an alien intelligence that craves only the blood of immortals? If so, how has it survived pre-Miracle Day? I'm also not sure how The Blessing brought about worldwide immortality, or The Families (upgraded from city mobsters to clans who control the world's politics, finances and media) are involved in this. A part of me would like to think the Families are themselves beholden to occupying aliens (perhaps the passive young man who met with Jilly?) who helped them get to this position of power, but we'll have to see.

So yes, there was actually a fair bit to chew on this week in terms of Miracle Day's mythology. But even without all those clues to the overall mystery, a few other things worked better this week. Having Rex separated from Torchwood at the CIA (bonding with boss Shapiro and beginning to suspect there's a 24-style mole where he works) seemed to work in the show's favour, because it allowed the story to move to three distinct storylines and gave Rex opportunities to demonstrate his detective skills. The only downside was how his investigation was all done in-between episodes, so was more of an information-dump than anything else.

And the subplot with Gwen trying to keep her sick father hidden from the authorities (who want to take him away to be incinerated as a "Category 1") was also effectively handled, if slightly too drawn out. The sequence where the police searched Gwen's basement, where her dad was hidden behind a false wall with his nursemaid wife, was one of the show's better moments of tension—perhaps because it was grounded by simple, relatable emotions of a daughter trying to stop her father being effectively murdered by the state.

Overall, "The Gathering" was good, if not quite as propulsive and engrossing as you want from the penultimate episode of a ten-part miniseries. A lot of Miracle Day's storyline has tangled in my head, so I have no clear theory about how The Families, Angelo Colasanto, The Blessing, and Miracle Day all connect, but if next week's finale can give us good, believable answers it will be a huge relief. However, it seems likely that Jilly and Oswald are just characters the writers never had a firm grasp on, as there's feeling of desperation in how the plot's bringing those two into the main story to justify their existence. I mean, will it ever be explained why Oswald was being sponsored by PhiCorp to give life-affirming speeches in sell-out arenas?

Asides

• One line of dialogue revealed that this episode is taking place two months after last week's episode, so why couldn't we get a "Two Months Later" legend on-screen? That was also a real cop-out. Apparently there was a legend, but I missed it!
• This wasn't made clear in the episode, but the credits state that the middle-aged woman who made contact with Jilly and showed her The Blessing was "The Mother Colasanto". So are we to assume she was Angelo's daughter, the sister of Olivia who died last week? As it's been pointed out in the comments, she must be Angelo's wife and Olivia's mother.
• Any theories on how Miracle Day will end? It's safe to assume that death will be restored to the planet, but will Rex die of his chest injury? Will it be revealed that The Blessing is of alien origin? Are The Families working for alien masters? What is Jilly's role in all this? Will Oswald Danes redeem himself somehow? Why is Jack's blood attracted to The Blessing? Are the people who are being cremated having their ashes fed to The Blessing? Will Rhys ever stop being the most annoying person the planet?

written by John Fay / directed by Guy Ferland / 2 September 2011 / Starz

Review: DEATH VALLEY, 1.1

This MTV supernatural mockumentary is the kind of show you can adequately review from its trailers. Death Valley's a high concept comedy-horror idea, summarized as a fly-on-the-wall documentary like COPS, set in an alternate universe where law enforcement are dealing with vampires, werewolves and zombies. The Undead Task Force (UTF) are the heroes, patrolling California's San Fernando Valley and protecting the public from the supernatural scourge. They're the usual ragtag bunch of maverick, fast-talking dopes, fairly indistinguishable from countless other shows. The creatures themselves are make-up jobs with an '80s inspiration, meaning you get your quota of gruesome faces and blood-soaked violence—with no noticeable CGI augmentation.

Still, given all the moments of gore and violence, there were only really two memorable scenes: a moment between the UTF's tough-ass boss and a new recruit he underestimates because she's a blonde cutie, so palms off with a boring desk job, comically unaware she's actually a skilled monster-slayer; and a random sketch where a driver's pulled over for being half-transformed into a werewolf while in control of a moving vehicle. The show needs to provide more supernatural twists on cop documentary clichés like that, as those were by far the funniest thing about this show.

Death Valley doesn't  feel much like a TV show, really—more a collection of semi-improvised sketches with cops getting involved in situations with scary monsters. Tellingly, the show started life as a homemade trailer by musician Spider One (host of FEARnet.com), later expanded to a twelve-minute pilot before being greenlit as a scripted series by MTV. It still feels like someone's edited together six episodes of a web series, sadly—meaning it's fast-paced but at the expense of any attempt at a meaty narrative. It remains to be seen how far the concept's joke will stretch before you find yourself craving non-literal brains.

So it's not particularly amusing or clever, but if you can't resist the idea of watching COPS-meets-Super Troopers with regular interruptions by vampires, werewolves and zombies, Death Valley delivers on that. I just hope it finds time to build the characters and is mindful of the potential with the human cast, rather than the novelty of seeing monsters being arrested or killed by the thin blue line. The sizzle reel for the rest of this twelve-part series, played at the conclusion of this premiere, looked very entertaining and delightfully gory, but that was true of the trailers. It remains to be seen if Death Valley is anything more than a scattershot collection of trailer-friendly moments. You end this pilot not even remembering a single character's name, which is a big worry for any comedy, and the jokes are very hit-and-miss.

Sundays, MTV @10.30PM

DVD/Blu-ray Releases: SEPTEMBER 2011 (Attack The Block, Dexter S5, Fringe S3, Insidious, Killing S1, Fast & Furious 5, Glee S2, Good Wife S2, Star Wars Saga, Thor, etc.)

5 SEPTEMBER

13 Assassins [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
Das Boot (Director's Cut) [BLU-RAY]
Dexter: Season 1-5 Box-set [DVD] [BLU-RAY] (*** out of four)
Dexter: Season 5 [DVD] [BLU-RAY] (** out of four)
Fast & Furious 1-5 Box-set [BLU-RAY]
Fast & Furious 5 [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
Modern Family: Season 2 [DVD]
Only Fools & Horses (Complete Anniversary Box-set) [DVD] (**** out of four)
Priest [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
Scarface (Limited Edition Box-set) [BLU-RAY]
Water For Elephants [DVD] [BLU-RAY]

12 SEPTEMBER

Entourage: Season 7 [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
The Good Wife: Season 1-2 Box-set [DVD] [BLU-RAY] (***½ out of four)
The Good Wife: Season 2 [DVD] [BLU-RAY] (*** out of four)
Insidious [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
Julia's Eyes [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
Star Wars: The Complete Saga [BLU-RAY] (**** out of four)
Star Wars: The Original Trilogy [BLU-RAY] (*** out of four)
Star Wars: The Prequel Trilogy [BLU-RAY] (*½ out of four)

19 SEPTEMBER

Arthur (2011) [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
Attack The Block [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
Dark Star [BLU-RAY]
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid 1 & 2 [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid 2: Rodrick Rules [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
Eureka: Season 4.0 [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
Glee: Season 2 [DVD] [BLU-RAY] (** out of four)
Glee: Season 2, Volume 2 [DVD] [BLU-RAY] (*½ out of four)
Nikita: Season 1 [D] [BLU-RAY]
Rambo: Complete Collection [DVD] [BLU-RAY] (**½ out of four)
South Park: Season 14 [DVD]
Stargate Atlantic: Complete Series [BLU-RAY]
Unknown [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
Warehouse 13: Season 2 [DVD] [BLU-RAY]

26 SEPTEMBER

Beverly Hills Cop [BLU-RAY]
The Big Bang Theory: Season 1-4 Box-set [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
The Big Bang Theory: Season 4 [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
The Hunt For Red October [BLU-RAY]
The Killing (USA): Season 1 [DVD] [BLU-RAY] (*½ out of four)
Fringe: Season 1-3 Box-set [DVD] [BLU-RAY] (*** out of four)
Fringe: Season 3 [DVD] [BLU-RAY] (***½ out of four)
Hawaii Five-0: Season 1 [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
House: Season 7 [DVD] [BLU-RAY]
Southland: Season 1 [DVD]
Thor [DVD] [BLU-RAY]