Project Manager Ghazal brings Katie and Naomi into the boardroom with her, to face Sir Alan and his lackies Nick and Margaret...
Sir Alan: This week, I asked you to design a trainer and present a marketing pitch to some advertising bods. Poster, advert, all that stuff. So, Guzzle, I made you project manager as you wanted... and you failed.
Ghazal: It's Ghazal.
Sir Alan: Where did it go wrong?
Ghazal: It... well, I'm not sure.
Sir Alan: Look at your advert. Nicely filmed, but what's it about? I can't tell.
Ghazal: At the end you see a few trainers. Er, with "Jam" on them.
Sir Alan: I might have changed the channel by then.
Ghazal: The thought was "music is everything".
Sir Alan: What's that got to do with shoes?
Ghazal: Umm, the shoes are called "Jam", as in "jamming".
Sir Alan: Jamming?
Ghazal: Dancing? You dance in shoes. Hence, er, Jam shoes.
Sir Alan: The only jam I care about is what I spread on me toast!
Ghazal: Maybe it was the wrong choice. In hindsight.
Naomi: Not hindsight for me! I told you so...
Sir Alan sighs, folds his arms.
Sir Alan: Katie, what do you think?
Katie: The advert is brilliant. I'm brilliant. I'm perfect apprentice material. See how I smile and talk passionately. I'd grin if you just told me the advert was bloody rubbish.
Sir Alan: The advert was bloody rubbish.
Katie grins.
Katie: If you were Jay you wouldn't say that.
Sir Alan: Jay?
Katie: The boy in my pitch. The 14-year-old who loves trainers.
Sir Alan: Jay isn't real.
Katie: Isn't he, Sir Alan? Isn't he?
Katie just smiles. Sir Alan turns to Naomi.
Sir Alan: Naomi, bring me some sanity. You're actually involved in advertising malarkey, so what did you bring to the table?
Naomi: I said "image is everything", during the flipchart bit.
Sir Alan: It's "music is everything", isn't it?
Naomi: Only 5 minutes before for the deadline, yes. It was changed. Ghazal was sweet-talked into it by Katie overnight.
Sir Alan: It's pronounced "Gunzul".
Ghazal: No, it actually is Ghazal.
Naomi: I think Katie sneaked into Ghazal's bed and whispered "music is everything" repeatedly into her ear. All night. Subliminal messaging.
Sir Alan: Okay, whatever. Point is, the message wasn't there! You forgot the object of the task! I don't know what you're advertising to me! Is it fashion? Music? Kids? Who knows!
Katie: Wasn't the advert really great, though, Sir Alan?
Sir Alan: No! I'm beginning to think you've got a skrew loose if you think that was a good advert!
Ghazal: I can see where we went wrong with the task, now you've pointed out the obvious mistakes we made.
Sir Alan: Hallelujah. Now, Ginzle, you wanted to be project manager and you messed up. Big time. Why shouldn't I fire you?
Ghazal: I'm only ikkle.
Sir Alan: I think you're all "say" and no "do".
Ghazal shifts in her seat.
Sir Alan: Why should I fire Naomi?
Ghazal: She didn't help me.
Naomi: I did what I could. Thinking up the phrase "image is everything" isn't easy you know!
Sir Alan: Why should I fire Katie?
Ghazal: You know you want to, deep down. If only to wipe that grin off her big-nosed face. And she came up with the "music" thing and the crap lyrics.
Sir Alan: Katie, are you a loser?
Katie: No, Sir Alan, certainly not.
Sir Alan: Eight tasks, six losses. To use a footballing analogy... um... if you were a football team, you'd be a loser... 'cos of the losing more than the winning. See?
Katie: Well, to keep with your analogy, if the tasks were football games, I'd say the pitch has been waterlogged on numerous occassions and I had a groin strain.
Sir Alan: That caused by the posh loverboy I booted out?
Katie grins fixedly, going red(er).
Sir Alan: Hmm. Alright. Naomi... I think you done okay.
Naomi: Phew...
Sir Alan: Galzul. I gave you benefit of the doubt for a long time, thinking you were just a bit young. But now I realize you're just thick and can't lead people. So you're fired.
Ghazal, Katie and Naomi stand and leave.
Ghazal: Goodbye, Sir Anal.
