Director: Jesse Bochco
Cast: Courteney Cox (Lucy Spiller), Jeffrey Nordling (Brent Barrow), Ian Hart (Don Konkey), Josh Stewart (Holt McLaren), Laura Allen (Julia Mallory), Ankur Bhatt (Kenny), Alex Breckenridge (Willa McPherson), Carly Pope (Garbo), Stephanie Turner (Maddy Sweet), Christopher Knight (himself), Adrianne Curry (Herself), Paul Reubens (Chuck Lafoon), Scott Klace (Walnut Valley DA), Tara Summers (Abby), Timothy Bottoms (Gibson Horne) & Bram Hoover (Tyler Kurta)
Willa investigates a teenage altar girl's murder in a small town, with the help of Lucy's mentor. Meanwhile, Holt and Lucy grow closer and Julia slumps deeper into drug addiction...The weekly fix of junk TV arrives, courtesy of Dirt. This is surely the most trashy, yet curiously enjoyable import for awhile. After five episodes, Dirt is in danger of falling into formula, so it's nice to see The Secret Lives Of Altar Girls involves a shift in focus, with second tier characters given a chance to breathe.
Keen young Lucy-wannabe, Willa (Alex Breckenridge), is sent off to report on a humdrum smalltown killing outside of L.A, with the hope of unearthing the "secret life" of the murdered altar girl. She's partnered with Lucy's mentor, the improbabably-named Chuck Lafoon (Paul Reubens), a gifted reporter who knows how to cultivate sources and get exclusives.
Reubens, famous for his Pee Wee Herman character in the 80s, and infamous for "pleasuring himself" in public in the 90s, is an interesting choice. He's been on the receiving end of real-life tabloid intrusion, so he brings a certain notoriety to proceedings. He acquits himself well as an ace reporter, going about his business like a crumpled huckster. Sure, you're expecting him to flail his arms and talk in a bizarre manner at first, but you soon take him seriously.
I'm glad Alex Breckenridge is getting more to do as Willa, as she's the only Dirt-Now reporter worth caring about. At the moment she's fresh-faced and naive, but sternly committed. In previous episodes we'have had hints that she's a Lucy-in-the-making, but here it's made more overt.
It'll be interesting to see if her character is gradually stripped of her natural empathy to become a hard-faced bitch by the season's end. She certainly starts a small decline in humanity here, by faking a relationship with the deceased's best friend; a Paris Hilton-obsessed teen with a bedroom pinker than Barbara Cartland's cheeks.
Courteney Cox doesn't dominate for the second week in a row, which is fine. She doesn't have much to do, but her dad's suicide is revealed as the reason she became a reporter, and her relationship with Holt takes a significant step forward... in the most awkward and laughably short car sex scene of recent memory!
Speaking of Holt (Josh Stewart), I'm just not buying his status as Hollywood's hot new star. We're told he's being offered major roles and is set to headline in a possible trilogy of action films, but he just looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights most of the time. It would be nice to see Holt actually act and show some charisma on a film set, because I'm just not buying it right now!
Joel Fields' script scores points for taking Dirt into new territory (away from Los Angeles and introducing a new character), but the identity of the plot's murderer is too obvious. A subplot with a fame-crazed couple trying to orchestrate their own tabloid notoriety also doesn't sit right. It's mildly amusing, but a bit obvious, and the way it climaxes with their chat-show appearance over the end credits seems like overkill.
As ever, Dirt's tone is so trashy and fun it gets away with obvious plotting and awkward moments. This is the weakest episode of the series so far, although I appreciated the way it shows a different angle to celebrity stories; with Dirt-Now actually creating a media sensation from a few scraps, instead of reporting on obvious scoops.
But, nothing really interesting happens and the story seemed to tread water at times. A few nice moments, but mostly disappointing.
13 August 2007
Five US, 9.00 pm
