Wednesday 12 December 2007

LIVE AT THE APOLLO 3.4 – Joan Rivers & Patrick Kielty

Wednesday 12 December 2007
James Nesbitt was one of the celebrities in the audience this week, and I'm certain he was present a few weeks ago, too. Maybe they film 2 episodes on the same night – a 180-minute live show with 4 comedians? Anyway...

Joan Rivers


The veteran American comedienne was our host (dragging a stool on to never use it), and performed her usual spiteful routine, poking fun at the rich and famous. She didn't seem able to judge the audience, seriously asking them "do you know Angelina Jolie?" This is Hammersmith, love -- not a Beverly Hills shindig!

I've never liked Rivers, but I must admit she had a few nice jokes up her sleeve; such as Katie Holmes' SOS blinking and how her droopy vagina became a bunny slipper! Her material focused on women, health, beauty and fame -- so there wasn't much for me to relate to. Rivers is clearly adept after so many years in the business, but she's not very warm and resembled a stick-thin sex-doll someone had dragged through Versace's wardrobe.


Patrick Kielty


The main act was Irish comedian/presenter Patrick Kielty, most famous in the UK for fronting bad reality TV shows like Fame Academy and Celebrity Love Island... but he's a pretty solid stand-up. Opening with a Fame Academy jibe to settle any pre-judgments, Kielty continued with some topical gags (TV fakery, Amy Winehouse), before moving on to more conventional topics, such as binge-drinking and Irish workers being undercut by the Polish.

Despite his tendency to annoyingly wander up and down the stage, the material was strong enough to get lost in, particularly once he captured the audience's full attention with his "battle of the sexes" section (with gags about male decision-making and the truth behind Pretty Woman/Dirty Dancing.)

With the audience now comfortable, Kielty drew to a close with more biting commentary on hot potato issues like Al Qaeda, suicide bombers, the Glasgow airport attack, a terrorist's career plan, and the inevitable IRA jokes ("a better class of terrorist.")

It wasn't a blistering performance, but it was consistently amusing and well-delivered, and the terrorism section was a highlight. I wasn't so keen on the "hip-hop" portion of the show, which dragged for too long and wasn't particularly fun, but otherwise this was good stuff.