Writer: Joel Fields
Director: Stephen T. Kay
Cast: Courteney Cox (Lucy Spiller), Ian Hart (Don Konkey), Josh Stewart (Holt McLaren), Alex Breckenridge (Willa McPherson), Ryan Eggold (Farber Kauffman), Tom Arnold (Jimmy Darby), Charlie Webber (Ian), Elisabeth Harnois (Milan Carlton), Jordan Hinson (Christa Darby), Richmond Arquette (Collin De Quisto), Josh Clark (Sam Greer), Kendahl King (Tami G), Thomas Silcott (Alien), Jennifer Leigh Warren (Bee), Alexi Wasser (Naomi), Shi Ne Nielson (Emma), Lauren Sanchez (Entertainment Anchor #1), Mark Thompson (Entertainment Anchor #2) & Giuliana Rancic (Entertainment Anchor #3)
Director: Stephen T. Kay
Cast: Courteney Cox (Lucy Spiller), Ian Hart (Don Konkey), Josh Stewart (Holt McLaren), Alex Breckenridge (Willa McPherson), Ryan Eggold (Farber Kauffman), Tom Arnold (Jimmy Darby), Charlie Webber (Ian), Elisabeth Harnois (Milan Carlton), Jordan Hinson (Christa Darby), Richmond Arquette (Collin De Quisto), Josh Clark (Sam Greer), Kendahl King (Tami G), Thomas Silcott (Alien), Jennifer Leigh Warren (Bee), Alexi Wasser (Naomi), Shi Ne Nielson (Emma), Lauren Sanchez (Entertainment Anchor #1), Mark Thompson (Entertainment Anchor #2) & Giuliana Rancic (Entertainment Anchor #3)
A privileged rich girl is released from jail early, with Lucy quick to get the scoop. Meanwhile, Willa and Farber investigate a video an actor's daughter leaked onto the internet..."I think I figured out why you hate Milan so much.
She's you. She's all of us. See, we're a nation of spoiled
rich people. Milan's just so extreme that it makes us
feel better by comparison. Really, she's just the part
of ourselves we loathe. That's why we need her. To
make us feel better. That's her job."
She's you. She's all of us. See, we're a nation of spoiled
rich people. Milan's just so extreme that it makes us
feel better by comparison. Really, she's just the part
of ourselves we loathe. That's why we need her. To
make us feel better. That's her job."
-- Don Konkey (Ian Hart)
Dirt's new edict of basing its characters on real celebs goes into overdrive in Dirty Slutty Whores, with a snappy storyline that introduces us to Paris Hilton-alike Milan Carlton (Elisabeth Harnois) and a Alec Baldwin/David Hasselhoff hybrid called Jimmy Darby (Tom Arnold). This mirroring of reality is amusing, if simple-minded, but fortunately rises above lazy pastiche with some acidic twists; as reality is taken to imaginative extremes...
Milan Carlton (named after a European city and hotel chain, a la Paris Hilton) is likewise thrown into jail for reckless driving, although Lucy (Courteney Cox) bets Farber (Ryan Eggold) that she'll be out before midnight. Indeed, celebutante Milan is freed within 24 hours on the back of a spurious medical condition relating to her unannounced pregnancy.
Elsewhere, sitcom star Jimmy Darby's daughter Christa (Jordan Hinson) posts a video of her drunken dad eating dog food off the floor, supposedly in an attempt to snap him out of his alcoholism – but actually to get revenge for a nasty voice-mail he left her. The drunken 'net video is clearly based on David Hasselhoff's YouTube embarrassment, while the voice-mail aspect is inspired by Alec Baldwin's recorded phone rant. Here, Willa (Alexandra Breckenridge) and Farber uncover the fact Christa's homemade video was actually a staged publicity stunt, after acquiring the video-camera's original digital hard-drive.
I'm still not convinced aping real people and storylines is the best move for Dirt to make, but I admit it's quite fun. But what really helps this episode is how Joel Fields' script spends half its time rib-poking the audience with its reality-based plot, before taking things a step further. Milan tries to atone for her crime by going to South-East Asia – ostensibly taking part in charity work, but actually working on her suntan. She's later arrested by the less-forgiving Asian authorities for going topless on a beach and, after they discover drugs on her person, she's humiliated in an extreme punishment that echoed Bart Simpson's treatment by the Australian government. Only harsher.
For the Darby's, patriarch Jimmy admits his drunken doggy act was just a scam to get his daughter her own television show ("Parents 911"), where she can build a career by helping youths with problem parents like her own. Even if her TV career is based on a lie, Jimmy just wants Christa to do something constructive with her life. Lucy agrees to bury his understandable deception, in return for access to Milan's PR expert. He agrees to the deal, and Don (Ian Hart) soon smuggles out the PR man's taped recordings of coaching sessions for his clients – including Milan and her boyfriend being instructed on how to answer tough press questions.
The tape also includes footage of Lucy's on/off lover Holt (Josh Stewart), who she's disappointed to see being told how to answer questions about Julia's recent death. However, Holt's comparative humanity hasn't been defeated by the spin of celebrity, as she then watches him brush off the PR guru and leave his office. It's another example of how Holt refuses to be consumed by the lifestyle he's living, and his "naivety" about how the game is played is clearly something Lucy finds endearing, refreshing and rather noble. Her life may deal in deceit, corruption, lies and flakiness, but in Holt she sees someone who can rise above it all.
The emphasis on these celebrity chimeras means the regular cast are somewhat undernourished with material. Lucy gets a nice face-to-face chat with Milan beside her indoor pool, over a Q&A puff piece, but there's not much else that sticks in the mind. Don also takes a backseat, until his idea to create a rat-infestation to gain access to the PR man's video camera -- although I liked his view on why socialites like Paris Hilton (ahem, Milan Carlton) are famous. See this review's opening quote above. It's a sentiment I agree with.
Willa and Barber's relationship seems like it's going to develop, although it's student/teacher at the moment as he learns the ropes – having to "dumb down" to get into the mindset of a tabloid magazine. There's also a nice scene when he mistakes Willa's offer of a Chinese meal as a date and, despite the fact we learn he has a girlfriend and Willa seems uninterested, it's surely a matter of time before they get together. But where's Brent Barrow; Willa's office lover who made a secret sex tape of her? Actor Jeffrey Nordling appeared briefly last week, but it seems that his role in 24's seventh season (now pushed back to 2009) means his character won't be as a prominent. Which is a shame.
Overall, this was an entertaining hour of fluff drama, and the echoes of reality didn’t become as tedious as I'd imagined, thanks to some welcome twists. That said, basing storylines and characters on reality is going to date Dirt very quickly. The Hilton/Hasselhoff riffs are already a year out of date, so how well will they play in a few years' time? Not very well, I expect. Still, if Dirt wants to be as disposable as tabloid magazines: so be it. Just don't expect anyone to be desperate to catch a repeat in 5 years time...
5 May 2008
Fiver, 9.00 pm
