10. You have named two pets "Astor" and "Cody".9. After shrink-wrapping sandwiches, you have an indescribable urge to spear the sarnie with a knife and carve it up into bite-sized chunks.
8. Spilling a glass of red wine on a new carpet isn't a disaster, it's a chance to analyse the "blood spatter".
7. You like to hide old family photo slides behind an air vent.
6. Everyone notices you muttering sardonic "voice-overs" after talking to people.
5. You've started to dispose of your rubbish by renting a boat and dumping the bin-bags into the local lake.
4. You like to surprise family by turning the lights off, jumping out from behind your sofa, and "injecting" them in the neck with a pen.
3. After protecting your furniture with plastic sheeting while you re-painted your livingroom's walls, you decided to keep the décor that way. Ironically, the "livingroom" may also be referred to as the "kill room" now.
2. You insist on buying everyone at work donuts every day, even if they make it clear they're diabetic.
1. You've started tying work colleagues to office tables after-hours, and showing them framed photos of staff they've been rude about. (If it gets this bad... please seek help. Seriously.)
