10. You have painted a wardrobe blue and often go inside for a few minutes, before stepping out and claiming to have been gone months.9. Whenever you approach automatic doors, you like to wiggle a Philips screwdriver at them, whistle, and nod approvingly as you pass through.
8. At parties, you refer to your wife/girlfriend as "my companion".
7. Whenever your family browse through old albums, you refer to yourself in school photos as a "previous regeneration".
6. You have an unhealthy suspicion of shop mannequins in Debenhams.
5. You insist that your hometown of Guildford is pronounced "Gallifrey".
4. According to you, wearing a long scarf, black leather jacket, white trainers, striped-yellow trousers and frilly sleeves is a "good look". Umbrella optional.
3. If stopped for speeding, you like to show the police officer a blank strip of card and confidently claim to be Detective Inspector John Smith on urgent police business.
2. Your pet dog is regularly found lying at the bottom of the stairs, wrapped in foil.
1. You try to settle a dispute with a next-door neighbour over your garden's perimeter by quoting the "Shadow Proclamation".
