Theme parks. In particular, Disney World -- which was THE place every kid wanted to go. Even when EuroDisney opened, because that would mean going to France. Only a few people ever seemed to go to Florida, so most of us only saw the likes of Flamingo Land, Alton Towers and Blackpool Pleasure Beach here in Blighty. But even they were huge fun for a kid. Similarly, whenever a circus or fair came to town, that was always incredibly exciting. Not so good for any goldfish you'd win from a coconut shy, though -- lifespan of three days, usually.
Christmas mornings. A very obvious one, but it's a truly magical time for kids. All those expensive presents and you don't have to spend money on anyone else in return! That's the annoying thing about Christmas for adults. Plus, as a kid, it's easier to get things you want: just get your parents to buy as much of the Argos catalogue's toy section as possible.
Egg whisks. Mums don't do as much baking these days, but back when they did... who else would loiter around the kitchen waiting to lick the cake mix off an egg whisk? And, if you're lucky, get handed the cake bowl to finger-lick clean. Bliss. Always far better than what the actual cake tasted like, too! Why don't they just serve cake mix in restaurants?
Mini cereals. A marketing brainwave! Less cereal, for more money! I'm sure these things continue to infuriate thrifty parents everywhere, but kids just like the idea of "mini" things. Remember the craze for Micro Machines? Those tiny cars must have saved the toy manufacturers a fortune on metal, too! I still reckon this is why iPod Nano is such a hit. Kids just like small things to treasure. Monster In My Pocket, anyone?
Treehouses. Did anyone ever have a treehouse? It's quite an American thing, really. If you had one as a British kid -- well, your dad was either a carpenter, or very rich. We'll widen this to mean "dens" in general -- and I'm sure everyone made hideouts in their bedrooms using their blankets, or hung big sheets on the clothes line and made a kind of tent from it.
Gameboy. Computer games are everywhere these day, thanks to the increasing power of mobile phones. But, back in the late-'80s, who else was astonished by the humble Gameboy? A device you could play a multitude of games on, anywhere you wanted! Before that, we just had those Watch & Game devices that played one measly game (like that racing car one with the three lanes to jump between, or Donkey Kong.)
Light guns. In a similar techie vein, how futuristic did light guns seem in the '80s? That NES lightgun was practically fucking Star Wars. The SuperScope for the SNES was less successful (it just looked too dumb), but the re-loadable Time Crisis gun for the PS1 was also tres cool. Of course, these days, the Wii's default controls lend the system to lightgun-style play immediately -- but in the '80s and '90s, there was nothing cooler than having a gun peripheral to play Duck Hunt.
Toys R' Us. It's strange to think, but Toys R' Us only arrived in the UK in the early-'90s, and the idea of a whole store filled with ONLY toys got me very excited around 1990. I remember first going inside one (in Peterborough) and being amazed by the really high shelves full of goodies. Up until then, kids just had the back-end of Woolworths to browse, or small independent toy shops. This was like Santa's grotto!
Porn mags. It’s cosmic law that every wooded area close to a kid's park will, on occasion, materialize ripped up porno mags. This is particularly exciting for kids under the age of 10 -- who are suddenly faced with visual evidence that girls don't have willies. Does this magic trick still happen these days? Or has the internet ruined this great childhood tradition? The porn mag purchasers are either at home on the 'net getting their fix for free... or the kids are! God bless whoever it was who bought a porno, then destroyed it for the bemused pleasure of kids the next day. I never did understand why you'd do that.
Creepy crawlies. You're less squeamish as a kid. I used to find, collect and handle all manner of bugs and animals -- frogs, newts, lizards, slow worms, etc. I'd never go near any of those things nowadays, if I can help it. I was like a young Steve Irwin 20 years ago. You seem to lose your nerve unless you keep it up. Anyone else collect buckets of frog spawn, and stuff like that?
Summer holidays. Remember when six weeks seemed like forever? The summer holidays were absolutely fantastic for kids -- even if you'd never admit you were bored by the third week. As an adult, six weeks pass by in a flash, but time goes slower for kids. Anyone else ever return to school in September and find they'd forgotten how to write?
Ice cream vans. The twinkling tune (usually Greensleeves) ringing out around summer, as kids swarmed the van with £1 coins they'd managed to talk their mum into giving them. Oh yes, happy days. I remember one boy asking the ice cream man for £10 worth of chewing gum, and being given a massive box of them. He had jaw-ache for a month.
Catalogue lingerie. What section of a Littlewoods or Kays catalogue you immediately turn to as a youngster determined how far into puberty you were as a boy. Age 5-11, chances are you'll go straight to the toy section. Age 12-16, you'll probably be perving over the models in the lingerie section. It's when you start going to the gardening section looking for trowels that you need to worry, really.
LaserQuest. Remember when this hit big in the '90s? People running around neon-lit rooms with laser guns, zapping each other. Adults suddenly regressed into kids for the day. Is this still popular? You don't really hear about it going on now. I think paint-balling has taken over.
Last Friday. Specifically, the last day of school before the Christmas or summer holidays. These were always great and worth going in for (although many people didn’t bother -- which sometimes felt like the wise choice at the time.) Here, you could usually wear your normal clothes (if your school had uniforms) and bring in board games to play. Choose wisely, though -- you don't want to be ostracized by your mates for bringing in bland Monopoly (with no enough bank notes) when someone else had snazzy electronic Battleships. Again, does this still happen these days?
Scalextric. Getting a decent race going was always about as likely as spelling Scalextric properly as a kid. The cars would always whizz off the track after 2 laps (at best) for me. But there was something very cool about Scalextric. I think it was the awesome name that implied "scary electric". The springy noise of the trigger mechanism was always oddly enjoyable, too. Did everyone else only ever play on a figure-8 track, though? You never saw anyone who had committed to getting a Wallace & Gromit-style track assembled around their front room.
Ring any bells? Anyone have any other suggestions of things ingrained in your memories of being a kid?
