Monday 1 June 2009

Britain's Got Talent: Diversity beat Boyle

Monday 1 June 2009
I have to commend the British public for preventing Susan Boyle winning Britain's Got Talent on Saturday, to instead hand dance troupe Diversity a well-deserved victory. The dancers secured 24.9% of the public vote, to Boyle's 20.2%. Quite what that saxophone player was doing in third place remains a mystery to me. Anyway, it was a great result because it was obvious Boyle didn't need to be crowned winner. She'll make a fortune with her debut album, so it felt fairer that Diversity will get a showcase at the Royal Variety Show in front of the Queen... and likely fade into obscurity. I mean, does anyone know the name of any other professional dance groups?

I'm really not sure what Boyle's long-term chances are, either. Her first album's going to be a global hit (provided it released before her cult status is revoked), but then what? Her audition for BGT became a worldwide YouTube sensation, but its popularity hinged on the surprise of a middle-aged, unattractive spinster proving she had a surprisingly good singing voice. It made for a fun viral video to pass around. But, once that sense of surprise had passed, people viewed Boyle's subsequent two performances on BGT from a different perspective -- a kind of, "right, we know you can sing, so let's see what you're made of." And, the fact is, Boyle is a talented but unremarkable singer. If you close your eyes, that's all the clearer.

I'm glad the show has "talent" in its title, rather "star" or "celebrity", as Boyle doesn't have much charisma or screen presence. I've heard people say they find her eccentricities refreshing, but I just find her embarrassing. All that jiggling around, showing some leg, and "Piers-y baby" come-ons? Icky. She's a woman with learning difficulties and clearly lacks the intelligence, confidence and stamina to keep pace with a celebrity lifestyle. Have you seen her interviewed? I've heard more coherent conversation from a parrot, bless her. And all this talk of giving her a starring role in a West End musical is preposterous; what makes anyone think she can act?! And, I hate to say it, but physical appearances still do count for something in musical theatre. She's not going to be playing the lead in Evita or Maria in The Sound Of Music, let's be frank.

It's only been a month since Boyle's fame erupted and she's just been admitted to the Priory because of the showbiz pressure, days after losing the competition. She's a fragile person, not accustomed to all this media attention. Susan Boyle has my sincerest sympathy, but maybe this is a sign that some people (no matter how talented) just aren't cut out to be famous.