The plot, such as it is, has Kröd (Sean Maguire) tasked by the warlock Grimshank (John Rhys-Davies) to light a Doomsday Beacon so resistance fighters are alerted to Dongalor's (Matt Lucas) activation of the Eye of Gulga Grymna, his doomsday weapon. The gang travel through the Forest Of Certain Death to reach said beacon, where they're confronted by a trio of sexy ladies who want them to father their offspring.
Promiscuous pagan Aneka (India de Beaufort) against spends the whole episode in a state of undress, the unwitting paramour of Ralph Longshaft (James Murray) and the butt of various kinky visual gags (i.e. excuses to get de Beaufort tipping coconut milk on her face and cleavage, and suchlike.) Look, I'm all for a bit of sexy titillation, and India de Beaufort's extremely easy on the eye, but this is just coming off as adolescent smut now. Aneka had potential to be a fun, sexy, Xena-like character and sassy role model, but she's spent the past two episodes in bed with Ralph and excised from Kröd's gang. Terrible writing and a waste of de Beaufort, who somehow still manages to rise above it.
Meanwhile, Dongalor is trying to coax tears from notoriously stoical pagan women to power the Eye (chopping onions, showing them a tear-jerking play, etc), but it's Grimshank who has success when he lies to Aneka that Kröd was killed and he bottles the tears she sheds.
While things picked up in the second half once the succubi appeared in the forest and Grimshank's duplicity became clear, "Succubi: The Dawn's Early Light" was mostly awful and a barren wasteland of comedy. It has the weight and gravity of a feather, the stories are anemic, some of the characters or how they're treated is mildly offensive, and the jokes just don't hit their mark. It's rather sad and disappointing that the writers have such a paucity of ideas and seem incapable of writing clever, perceptive jokes in a genre that's ripe for affectionate mockery.
Compare this to the likes of Monty Python & The Holy Grail or The Princess Bride and Kröd Mändoon's shortfall is all too obvious. You know you're in trouble when Martin Lawrence's Black Knight has more laughs. It's a shame, too, because the actors are capable of better and cash has clearly been spent on this production, but nobody thought to get the scripts up to scratch. Or hire funny writers to begin with.
2 July 2009
BBC2, 9pm
written by: Brad Johnson directed by: Alex Hardcastle starring: Sean Maguire (Kröd Mändoon), Matt Lucas (Dongalor), India de Beaufort (Aneka), Kevin Hart (Zezelryck), John Rhys-Davies (Grimshank), Steve Spiers (Loquasto), Marques Ray (Bruce), Alex MacQueen (Barnabus), James Murray (Ralph Longshaft), Emma Clifford (Mara), Nathalie Cox (Lilith), Mate Haumann (Todd), Andrew Hefler (Pagan Man) & Anna Jankovics (Lamia)
