WRITER: David Schladweiler[SPOILERS] This week's cloying morality play was brought to us in five easy to swallow segments (and one needlessly twee closing tag), perhaps because writer David Schladweiler was fearful we would choke on the "profound effect" former stripper Robin Gallagher (Julie Benz) had on the housewives' lives if we had to ingest it all in one go.
DIRECTOR: David Warren
GUEST CAST: Julie Benz, Orson Bean, Eric Lutes, Scott Haven & Ryan Heinke
Lynette and the Stripper: Lynette (Felicity Huffman) snaps at Robin for "irresponsibly" showering with the blinds not drawn, what with Lynette's teenage son, Parker (Joshua Logan Moore) being able to see everything from his bedroom window. Robin then reveals that Parker offered her money to sleep with him, leading to a premature heart-to-heart with his concerned parents, and Tom (Doug Savant) putting his foot in it by suggesting that, at the end of the day, all women are goaded in to sex because of cash(!!) And they were doing so well in couple's therapy... when Lynette returns to apologise to Robin for her attitude, Robin asks Lynette to draw her blinds in the future when having make-up sex with her husband... lovely.
Bree and the Stripper: In exchange for helping the newcomer bake Susan a thank you cake, Robin bestows chef Bree (Marcia Cross) with some bedroom advice to reignite her passion for paralysed husband Orson (Kyle MacLachlan). Bree's ensuing attempt at a lap-dance is a humorously cringeworthy -- and definitely not sexy -- mess, but the end result is the estranged couple end up in each others arms... lovely.
Gabrielle and the Stripper: Having overheard worrying remarks from the other side of the Bolen's door last week, Carlos (Antonio Chavira) and Gabrielle (Eva Longoria Parker) set out to keep live-in niece Ana (Maiara Walsh) away from boyfriend Danny Bolen (Beau Mirchoff) by using Robin to relay a disastrous tale from her past and encourage Ana to pursue a modelling opportunity -- which came out of nowhere and was explained away as an old contact from Gaby’s modelling days -- in New York. However, upon finding out the Solis's true, devious motives, Robin asserts her principles by revealing all to a cut-up Danny, who orders a taxi out of Fairview... lovely.
Susan and the Stripper: Returning to her old characteristic of extreme jealousy (which she handily forgot about when offering Robin a house to stay in), Susan Mayer attempts to fix her husband Mike's (James Denton) sore back after seeing Robin administer some effective techniques which, apparently, crossed the boundary. When Mike ends up in the hospital following Susan's physio "remedy", she admits her resentment to Robin, who apologises and suggests moving out to sustain a friendship with Susan... lovely.
Katherine and the Stripper: Returning to street life following her stint in the mental hospital, a delicate and slowly adjusting Katherine has Robin thrust herself into her life -- in more ways than one. Suggesting they get themselves out of the house, Robin takes her newly acquired landlady for drinks; only to have two "typical" guys (Scott Haven and Ryan Heinke) hit on her and ignore Katherine entirely. Robin kisses Katherine to make the guys jealous and later suggests Katherine should "broaden her horizons" in the dating world if she is fed up with men... hint, hint... lovely?!
Given its top billing as the final strand, clearly this was the storyline which was meant to deliver the dramatic twist in an episode otherwise obsessed with assimilating a newcomer into an already crowded pack. However, it was lazily clichéd to reveal the ex-stripper has dabbled with her sexuality, and somewhat stretching believability that a woman so disturbingly obsessed with men -- okay, one man in particular -- all her life could be so easily tempted, which is clearly where this arc is heading. I know a change is as good as a rest, but c'mon!
On a final note, is Julie Benz using her natural voice? I never saw her on Dexter, and Buffy The Vampire Slayer was some years ago (my memory isn't what it used to be), but I get the impression that she's putting on this softly-spoken tone to make her character more likeable. Unfortunately, she's coming across as a ditzy airhead to me.
12 MAY 2010: CHANNEL 4/HD, 9PM
